Ashes Reflections ...

Perhaps Merlo should produce some sort of an umble apology to the aged seer that is "Richie".

It appears, in expressing a diffident view that Aus had the team and set-up that could win this series, he may - after all - not have been such the "senile old git" he was gently labelled.

Sir Hannibal Beeftour, on the other hand, is now well on his way to getting his 5-0 prediction spot on.

Reflections? Hmmm. England are the dogshit pretenders I thought they were.

If you think this England team
- A great big pride of lions -
Has made a hash
Of these Australian Ashes
And lost by clueless miles

Just wait until you see
Who they have next, all lined up
To make you gnash
Your teeth: Whoa! it's only Ash!
It's Messiah Ashley Giles!

Brass Monkey wrote:Reflections? Hmmm. England are the dogshit pretenders I thought they were.

Pretending to be dogshit? That's a low blow. A low and dirty blow, sir.

A bit like the 2010/11 ashes, one team playing very high quality cricket and the other really at its nadir in recent times. The series has been very disappointing to watch from a neutral pov (well, at least mine). Expected at least some contest instead of the limp surrender witnessed in these three tests.

That, and Slater sounded like he had throat cancer not like he was a South African.

"Pretending to be dogshit? That's a low blow. A low and dirty blow, sir"

It was said of Madonna that she always surrounded herself in this layer of false bulldust you had to cut through to see the real bulldust underneath.

Graham Gooch needs to be handed his P45.

krikri wrote:Graham Gooch needs to be handed his P45.

Yo. He's an expensive passenger. The blame should be laid at his door the most. He's done nothing to rectify the obvious technical deficiencies that Aus were bound to exploit. Alls he seems to have done is witter on about 'daddy hundreds'. Heck, I could do that for half the price:

'Uhh, yeah Ali, like, get a daddy hundred and all that.'

Done.

Gooch AND Saker. Name one bowler who has progressed since Saker took over as bowling coach. Actually don't name anyone. Look at Steve Finn. The man is now a long-hop-bowling wreck.

Strangely perhaps, I would blame Saker amongst the least.


Broad has improved in terms of resourcefulness - when he's fit. He is still intermittently moody, but that's not really a bowling coach's responsibility.

With Finn it seems more an ingrained head problem above a technical one.

I wouldn't blame Saker for Bresnan's injuries, or loss of pace and threat.

Anderson is surely clapped-out from carrying a bowling attack for too long.

And there has been precious little coming through from the counties for Saker to work with. Rankin is okay, seems borderline Test class at best though. If there is not the material there, Saker can't wave a wand.

What some of the above need is a patient psychologist.


Is Mushy still coaching the spinners?

I've never really been sure what Mushy brings to the party. He was like, a leg spinner, and umm, Swann and Panesar are, you know, finger spinners. Maybe he'd be better off working with Borthwick and Rashid during the Winter?

As far as I can tell, all Mushy does is provide good company for the guys who are waiting to bat.

I've had another think, and come up with a solution (not one that will be taken, but one that would be likely to be appreciably more successful than at present - not hard, perhaps).


Andy Flower. Doesn't resign, but is encouraged to return to his place of greatest expertise - batting coach. Quiet work, away from the cameras, addressing what a former Essex county colleague has neglected.

Team coach: Peter Moores.

Now that his hornet seems crocked and about ready to depart the scene - a man who constantly made and spread trouble during Moores' brief reign. Now that his heinously great blind spot, M Vaughan, has long gone. Moores got on well with, encouraged and brought on Anderson and such team players as Colly, decisively dropped Saj, Geraint and Ashley Giles in favour of Broad, Prior and Monty, advanced Trott (admittedly only as ODI regular before he was chopped), and installed a still fresh Strauss in the captaincy, though still falling for a (by then) clueless wreck Vaughan.

Moores was an enterprising, adventurous team boss. He came in after a clueless 5-0 drubbing down under and made the place buzz. (And Harmison moan, and Kev sting like hell.)


All right, I'm kidding. But someone with that cast of mind would be highly desirable in the present comotose doldrums.

(Too late to grab Tom Moody.)

I would agree with Pete about Saker.

I think our bowling performances have improved since he's been bowling coach and over the past 3 or 4 years it's our bowling that's kept us in games and allowed us to go on and win despite long periods of batting inconsistencies.

And as shown by his interview on Sky the other morning, he's clearly told the bowlers to do the exact opposite to what they went out and did. When they go against the plans set out then the bowlers have to take a lot of the responsibility.

TBH they all seem to be on a bit of a gravy train, but the likes of Mushy and Saker cannot be blamed for, say, Swann's seeming unwillingness to expand his game or for Finn's straight up idiocy.

As Saker was quoted during the first innings:

"Like everyone, we make mistakes, like cricketers make mistakes. We could have made a mistake in this game but I’m sure if our bowlers bowled to their capabilities we wouldn’t have got it wrong. We mixed our lengths and went to the short ball too much."

He speaks the truth. Dickheads will be dickheads.

Whereas, at least he looks like he's addressing tactics, WTF has Gooch done? Seriously, he just hangs around with his mate Flower.

I think that the selectors should get the biggest serve, for their vapid choices have made it much easier for Australia to wrest the initiative from England.

They're just not accountable, though. They never are and seemingly never will be

It seems clear from his breaking cover that Saker was livid he was outvoted on the exclusion of any of the tall, bouncy bowlers as third seamer at Perth, in favour of old faithful Brezzy.

That was an extremely odd selection. Surely one of the giants had to play, especially with Stokes in the side as a fourth seamer. I wonder who decided Bresnan was the way to go? Who selects the side when England are on tour? Flower and Cook? Miller, Flower, and Cook? Bresnan, Flower, and Cook? Fillet, flour, and Cook?

Not Saker, obviously.

He was gritting his teeth loyally when calling that "our" mistake. "Collective responsibility" can be very strained sometimes.

Still, good old Bressy, eh? Good bloke Bressy. Jolly Yorkie Bressy. Good man. England's good luck charm. We never lose with him in the side (except when we DO lose with him in the side, but don't let the facts...) Never lets anyone down (except for a nation of cricket supporters) Gallantly unleashed his 80mph trundlers at the grateful Aussies once again. Wont let anyone down. Kept it tight as usual. Only went at 4 an over. What? It was a test match? Ah....

Not only that, his 'all rounder' skills were really on show with 30 runs combined over the two innings.

Brass Monkey wrote:I think that the selectors should get the biggest serve, for their vapid choices have made it much easier for Australia to wrest the initiative from England.

They're just not accountable, though. They never are and seemingly never will be

Well, Willy Wonka Whitaker's replacing Geoff Miller as chief selector, but sure that move will prove as much use as a chocolate teapot...

Chef selector?

Interesting stat in the head-to-head records. The most consecutive Ashes series England has won (since 1900 when Aus started to get to parity v England) is 3 which they achieved in 1953-56, 1978-81 & 2009-13.

So statistically, England were in uncharted territory to make it 4 straight. Yes, small comfort I know.   

Henry wrote:I've never really been sure what Mushy brings to the party. He was like, a leg spinner, and umm, Swann and Panesar are, you know, finger spinners. Maybe he'd be better off working with Borthwick and Rashid during the Winter?

As far as I can tell, all Mushy does is provide good company for the guys who are waiting to bat.

Mushy's a weird one. He was brought in when England were trying to groom Adil Rashid to be leg spinning all rounder of their dreams, but they obviously liked him enough to keep him on once Plan A(dil) had been consigned to the scrapheap.

Lovely beard. A real beauty.

Henry wrote:Still, good old Bressy, eh? Good bloke Bressy. Jolly Yorkie Bressy. Good man. England's good luck charm. We never lose with him in the side (except when we DO lose with him in the side, but don't let the facts...) Never lets anyone down (except for a nation of cricket supporters) Gallantly unleashed his 80mph trundlers at the grateful Aussies once again. Wont let anyone down. Kept it tight as usual. Only went at 4 an over. What? It was a test match? Ah....

We've won one game in the last eight he's played. Lost three, saved by the weather in two. Wickets @ 65. S/r 115.

The only luck he brings to the party is how f*cking lucky he is to have not been sold for scrap.