Skully in the waughs - there goes the post count

As a by-the-by, the hand therapist was a tidy 30 year old lass, who loves her cricket. I'm doing my best to get her to join up in here to address the size of the boofhead-to-maiden ratio.

She had me at "I reckon Watto's a soft sook".

Good lord! Get well, skulls.

On the positive, at least it didn't go full Simpson.... Can you abuse disability benefits now?

Unfortch the only disability I have (other than I don't write well left handed) is that I am a spaz left handed fapper.

Brass Monkey wrote:**grimace** **sharp intake of breath** Nasty!

My reaction entirely, BM was more articulate.

I hope you get a wodge of time off work, Skulls.

And one small other plus - looking at it from the incorrigible, transitory, Homer Simpson perspective that brings males into disrepute - was the tidy 30-y-o with the (at least feigned) interest in cricket.

Not sure it's entirely wise to entice her on to this den of wannabee pervs, though.

Holy Bejesus Skully, that looks sore.

Glad you're in such good spirits, and hope all goes well for your recovery.

skully wrote:Unfortch the only disability I have (other than I don't write well left handed) is that I am a spaz left handed fapper.

Clearly requires more red tape.

Left handed fapping is a gift... Makes for a great fap, right handed is like picking one's nose with the toes.

Southpaw gratification. Another Bails first.

The best kind of gratification

It's not the greatest, but with determination it's possible.

It's either that, or invest in watermelons... heat them up and give them a bang. Where did I hear this? 100 most embarrassing sex injuries, where some bloke from Glasgow reckoned that a watermelon that he'd microwaved, but was so hot that he had to pick it up with oven gloves, would be OK to stick his penis into. Not the brainiest. 3rd degree burns on captain schlong.

Get well soon skulls.

As for the pics, dear me and f*ck off.

Chuckles at the japes and good stories (spesh Dan's watermelon), cheers for the wishes, and again apologies for those who found the pics a bit much.   

Brass Monkey wrote:some bloke from Glasgow reckoned that a watermelon that he'd microwaved, but was so hot that he had to pick it up with oven gloves, would be OK to stick his penis into. Not the brainiest. 3rd degree burns on captain schlong.

I wonder how Lever is doing these days

Just chillin', most likely.

I'm now wondering where Smashing Pumpkins got their name from ...

G.Wood wrote:

Brass Monkey wrote:some bloke from Glasgow reckoned that a watermelon that he'd microwaved, but was so hot that he had to pick it up with oven gloves, would be OK to stick his penis into. Not the brainiest. 3rd degree burns on captain schlong.

I wonder how Lever is doing these days

Jason Statham? Jason Statham would've looked the watermelon in the eye and smirked, then probably ninja-jizzed it.

You mean a real watermelon?

Watermelon?

Yes, the non-mammary high-water-content fairly striped fruit with the pips inside.

No, the Glaswegian microwaved a breast.

I thought you'd put that behind you and moved on. To Jason Statham's icy glare and ninja-sprinkler dance.

I meant if Statham was shagging a piping hot watermelon, he'd take the hit

Pete sure has one sick mind

A little bit Jack The Ripper, but we all have our foibles.

Am I the one who brought up (sic) the Glaswegian watermelon, the Dr. Phallus turned Wicker Man, and latterly the martial-artistic cucurbitacean blamathon??

PeterCS wrote:Am I the one who brought up (sic) the Glaswegian watermelon, the Dr. Phallus turned Wicker Man, and latterly the martial-artistic cucurbitacean blamathon??

I think knowing there is a word for that speaks volumes