Twenty20 World Cup 2014

Dello wrote:MP Vaughan not backtracking on his insistence that best mate Ashley Giles should get the top job:

Michael Vaughan ‏@MichaelVaughan  40s
Collective shambles from English cricket for the last few months... But it's the players who have to hold their hands up..

Michael Vaughan ‏@MichaelVaughan  8m
And don't give the players any excuse ... It's down to them.. Not the coach...

Michael Vaughan ‏@MichaelVaughan  10m
Btw... It's the players that lost that game not the Coach... Don't point the finger anyone else but the players....

----

Yeah, we get it - lovely Ashley bears no responsibility for anything. He might as well not be there. No coach in the history of the world could've done any better.

Dello wrote:Ashley Giles: "that was embarrassing and pretty complacent. None of us are very happy."

Given that the regime's entire raison d'etre is to make their buddies smile, that's an admission of total and utter failure.

Perhaps they should try winning cricket matches. That tends to cheer most people up.

holcs wrote:YESSSS!!!!! Just f&cking yes, get in there!

That's what harmony gets you, a whacking from Holland!

I actually almost squealed with delight in the office having seen that result!

I am very much looking forward to the announcement of Giles as coach and hopefully the mauling Clarke gets in his press conference at Gashley's unveiling!

Dear Giles... where do I start?

I'll skip all of your embarrassing dealings with the BCCI culminating with the amoral coup of world cricket. I'll skip past your inherent smugness, lack of reality and holier-than-thou smarm.

I'll focus on your vacuous approach to choosing a full-time England coach. All we hear is platitudinous crap about what a fantastic guy Ashley Giles is, how the players like him and all that irrelevant shit.

I've just watched us lose to a collective of randoms, under the banner of the Netherlands. The personnel chosen has managed to lose to a plucky bunch of blokes who have only half a career going.

Tim Bresnan has done nothing for years. Jade Dernbach has never done anything (FYI he's now the bowler with the world's worst economy rate in both ODI and T20I history) - yet these total clowns get picked time and again. The hackneyed excuse is that 'they're the best we have'. If I could give you advice, it would be to MANAGE your charges well enough that they're actually going out to WATCH possible incumbents.

How can some random nobody, such as myself, telegraph that these sort of players were always going to fail? I think the answer is that BECAUSE IT WAS F*CKING OBVIOUS.

You need to sort your job role out, because at the minute you're overseeing a rabble of shit and you're doing it in the most arrogant and glib of ways.

Your 'think tank' seems to be lauding Ashley Giles as 'the perfect candidate for the job' - I cannot abide by that shit - he has now won 13 out of 30 as ODI coach and he has now won 6 out of 19 T20Is. In no regard does that shout out 'hire me'. It actually shouts out 'FAILURE'.

I'm only one person, but believe me, I am not alone in these thoughts.

So, to conclude, F*CK YOU GILES, you've phoned in a career at the ECB and it's about time your arrogant twattitude was curbed.

You qunt.

Brass Monkey wrote:Popped this off to Giles Clarke's email...

Dear Giles... where do I start?

I'll skip all of your embarrassing dealings with the BCCI culminating with the amoral coup of world cricket. I'll skip past your inherent smugness, lack of reality and holier-than-thou smarm.

I'll focus on your vacuous approach to choosing a full-time England coach. All we hear is platitudinous crap about what a fantastic guy Ashley Giles is, how the players like him and all that irrelevant shit.

I've just watched us lose to a collective of randoms, under the banner of the Netherlands. The personnel chosen has managed to lose to a plucky bunch of blokes who have only half a career going.

Tim Bresnan has done nothing for years. Jade Dernbach has never done anything (FYI he's now the bowler with the world's worst economy rate in both ODI and T20I history) - yet these total clowns get picked time and again. The hackneyed excuse is that 'they're the best we have'. If I could give you advice, it would be to MANAGE your charges well enough that they're actually going out to WATCH possible incumbents.

How can some random nobody, such as myself, telegraph that these sort of players were always going to fail? I think the answer is that BECAUSE IT WAS F*CKING OBVIOUS.

You need to sort your job role out, because at the minute you're overseeing a rabble of shit and you're doing it in the most arrogant and glib of ways.

Your 'think tank' seems to be lauding Ashley Giles as 'the perfect candidate for the job' - I cannot abide by that shit - he has now won 13 out of 30 as ODI coach and he has now won 6 out of 19 T20Is. In no regard does that shout out 'hire me'. It actually shouts out 'FAILURE'.

I'm only one person, but believe me, I am not alone in these thoughts.

So, to conclude, F*CK YOU GILES, you've phoned in a career at the ECB and it's about time your arrogant twattitude was curbed.

You qunt.

Brass Monkey wrote:Popped this off to Giles Clarke's email...

Dear Giles... where do I start?

I'll skip all of your embarrassing dealings with the BCCI culminating with the amoral coup of world cricket. I'll skip past your inherent smugness, lack of reality and holier-than-thou smarm.

I'll focus on your vacuous approach to choosing a full-time England coach. All we hear is platitudinous crap about what a fantastic guy Ashley Giles is, how the players like him and all that irrelevant shit.

I've just watched us lose to a collective of randoms, under the banner of the Netherlands. The personnel chosen has managed to lose to a plucky bunch of blokes who have only half a career going.

Tim Bresnan has done nothing for years. Jade Dernbach has never done anything (FYI he's now the bowler with the world's worst economy rate in both ODI and T20I history) - yet these total clowns get picked time and again. The hackneyed excuse is that 'they're the best we have'. If I could give you advice, it would be to MANAGE your charges well enough that they're actually going out to WATCH possible incumbents.

How can some random nobody, such as myself, telegraph that these sort of players were always going to fail? I think the answer is that BECAUSE IT WAS F*CKING OBVIOUS.

You need to sort your job role out, because at the minute you're overseeing a rabble of shit and you're doing it in the most arrogant and glib of ways.

Your 'think tank' seems to be lauding Ashley Giles as 'the perfect candidate for the job' - I cannot abide by that shit - he has now won 13 out of 30 as ODI coach and he has now won 6 out of 19 T20Is. In no regard does that shout out 'hire me'. It actually shouts out 'FAILURE'.

I'm only one person, but believe me, I am not alone in these thoughts.

So, to conclude, F*CK YOU GILES, you've phoned in a career at the ECB and it's about time your arrogant twattitude was curbed.

You qunt.

PeterCS wrote:Even if you did email Clarke at all, it's a waste of breath in that direction.

Like sending in an appeal to the executioner.

taipan wrote:
Do you think he will understand qunt?

Dello wrote:
Needed more on Ashley Giles' inadequacy for anything other than organ donation. And Giles Clarke's pitiful whine to Sky about one of their commentators daring to give an honest opinion about England's shortcomings rather than take part in the never ending Ali Cook fisting fiesta.

Other than that, I approve.

Neil D wrote:P.S.  My post count has just reached 500, and as such I am now more qualified to coach England than Ashley Giles.

Dello wrote:

Brass Monkey wrote:Popped this off to Giles Clarke's email...

Dear Giles... where do I start?

I'll skip all of your embarrassing dealings with the BCCI culminating with the amoral coup of world cricket. I'll skip past your inherent smugness, lack of reality and holier-than-thou smarm.

I'll focus on your vacuous approach to choosing a full-time England coach. All we hear is platitudinous crap about what a fantastic guy Ashley Giles is, how the players like him and all that irrelevant shit.

I've just watched us lose to a collective of randoms, under the banner of the Netherlands. The personnel chosen has managed to lose to a plucky bunch of blokes who have only half a career going.

Tim Bresnan has done nothing for years. Jade Dernbach has never done anything (FYI he's now the bowler with the world's worst economy rate in both ODI and T20I history) - yet these total clowns get picked time and again. The hackneyed excuse is that 'they're the best we have'. If I could give you advice, it would be to MANAGE your charges well enough that they're actually going out to WATCH possible incumbents.

How can some random nobody, such as myself, telegraph that these sort of players were always going to fail? I think the answer is that BECAUSE IT WAS F*CKING OBVIOUS.

You need to sort your job role out, because at the minute you're overseeing a rabble of shit and you're doing it in the most arrogant and glib of ways.

Your 'think tank' seems to be lauding Ashley Giles as 'the perfect candidate for the job' - I cannot abide by that shit - he has now won 13 out of 30 as ODI coach and he has now won 6 out of 19 T20Is. In no regard does that shout out 'hire me'. It actually shouts out 'FAILURE'.

I'm only one person, but believe me, I am not alone in these thoughts.

So, to conclude, F*CK YOU GILES, you've phoned in a career at the ECB and it's about time your arrogant twattitude was curbed.

You qunt.

Needed more on Ashley Giles' inadequacy for anything other than organ donation. And Giles Clarke's pitiful whine to Sky about one of their commentators daring to give an honest opinion about England's shortcomings rather than take part in the never ending Ali Cook fisting fiesta.

Other than that, I approve.

taipan wrote:

Dello wrote:

Brass Monkey wrote:Popped this off to Giles Clarke's email...

Dear Giles... where do I start?

I'll skip all of your embarrassing dealings with the BCCI culminating with the amoral coup of world cricket. I'll skip past your inherent smugness, lack of reality and holier-than-thou smarm.

I'll focus on your vacuous approach to choosing a full-time England coach. All we hear is platitudinous crap about what a fantastic guy Ashley Giles is, how the players like him and all that irrelevant shit.

I've just watched us lose to a collective of randoms, under the banner of the Netherlands. The personnel chosen has managed to lose to a plucky bunch of blokes who have only half a career going.

Tim Bresnan has done nothing for years. Jade Dernbach has never done anything (FYI he's now the bowler with the world's worst economy rate in both ODI and T20I history) - yet these total clowns get picked time and again. The hackneyed excuse is that 'they're the best we have'. If I could give you advice, it would be to MANAGE your charges well enough that they're actually going out to WATCH possible incumbents.

How can some random nobody, such as myself, telegraph that these sort of players were always going to fail? I think the answer is that BECAUSE IT WAS F*CKING OBVIOUS.

You need to sort your job role out, because at the minute you're overseeing a rabble of shit and you're doing it in the most arrogant and glib of ways.

Your 'think tank' seems to be lauding Ashley Giles as 'the perfect candidate for the job' - I cannot abide by that shit - he has now won 13 out of 30 as ODI coach and he has now won 6 out of 19 T20Is. In no regard does that shout out 'hire me'. It actually shouts out 'FAILURE'.

I'm only one person, but believe me, I am not alone in these thoughts.

So, to conclude, F*CK YOU GILES, you've phoned in a career at the ECB and it's about time your arrogant twattitude was curbed.

You qunt.

Needed more on Ashley Giles' inadequacy for anything other than organ donation. And Giles Clarke's pitiful whine to Sky about one of their commentators daring to give an honest opinion about England's shortcomings rather than take part in the never ending Ali Cook fisting fiesta.

Other than that, I approve.

Would you accept a brain from that man?

English cricket is in a pickle, and only one man can save it. Here are the key areas on which he will be focusing.

1) Gilo has said that he is not afraid to take the tough decisions. Whether that means saying "Ooh, well obviously, the lads are a bit disappointed" or "Very much so, there are a lot of positives to take from this 245-run hammering", Gilo can be relied upon to select the correct option, no matter how hard it might be to walk that path.

2) Finding a new home for Jade Dernbach, somewhere with a little stream he can drink out of and a nice barn for him to have a rest in, as well as all the carrots he can eat. Only joking. Jade has been sold to Tescos for burger meat.

3) Journey management. Gilo has always been keen to stress that England are on a journey. No match or tournament itself represents a destination, merely a staging post on the road to enlightenment or, possibly, the IPL, if a lad really plays his cards right.

4) Definitely not thinking about Kevin Pietersen. No way. Kevin Who? Who Pietersen? Where Pietersen? Who What?

5) More jobs for good lads like Goochie, Colly, Mushy and Thorpey, even though they, like Gilo, have been in charge for recent defeats. It's definitely not the coaches' fault, which is why we need more coaches. Simple.

6) Team to concentrate on giving 110% on the golf course, structured drills to make each player a really good lad to have around the place, and everyone to redouble their focus on becoming just a very useful cricketer to have around the place. Batting and bowling optional.

7) Evidence to be produced to show that current England management are very much the best possible people for the Biggest Job In Cricket. Somebody to get in touch with the post office to find out why no job applications were received from anyone other than a Mr A Giles.

8) Just some really nice-looking tracksuits.

9) Broady to put his hand up and come to the party when we need somebody to bowl. Nobody to be allowed to retire mid-over just because they don't fancy it, unless exceptional evidence for a non-specific and vaguely confusing condition can be produced.

10) Following the success of the "bowling with balls that have been dunked in a bucket" directive, team to practise with all sorts of unfamiliar materials and techniques including "catching the cricket ball", "bowling it at the stumps" and "fetching it out of the stand when some massive foreign bloke has just twonked it". Once we master these skills, the sky (group stage) is definitely the limit.