Ashes Fantasy Dream Team

I've had a shit, so I can exclude that. Giggles? I very much doubt I'll be giggling a lot over the next 8 weeks. Unless you've got an endless supply of ketamine? If you have, I probably won't take it anyway. So f*ck giggles.

And Elle McPherson? Smash. I didn't know smash had an age limit. Upper limit, that is... I'm not a 70's TV personality. Yet.

I guess GGILF is the upper limit.

Although, I'd miss the target with them too.

Brass Monkey wrote:I've had a shit, so I can exclude that. Giggles? I very much doubt I'll be giggling a lot over the next 8 weeks. Unless you've got an endless supply of ketamine? If you have, I probably won't take it anyway. So f*ck giggles.

And Elle McPherson? Smash. I didn't know smash had an age limit. Upper limit, that is... I'm not a 70's TV personality. Yet.

Never made any comment about not smashing. Just wouldn;t be near top of my list

tricycle wrote:I guess GGILF is the upper limit.

Although, I'd miss the target with them too.

Hmm.... I'd probably still take Joan Collins to town. Just for 'shiz and gigz' like.

Would take her sister too...

Good grief.

OK pricks, I'm in. 'Only six from one country'? F*ck off.

I'd have a go, if it wasn't for that tedious constant trading and shifting and monitoring.

Would be better if you had to choose 11, and allowed substitutions only for stretcher cases. Is too fussy, dabby, hokey-cokey as it is. Can't really be rectumed to keep feeding the baby.

Brass Monkey wrote:OK pricks, I'm in. 'Only six from one country'? F*ck off.

Is that cockblocking, or cock unblocking?

It's me mercilessly shoving my fleshy ram rod into whatever hole it found.

If you don't want to chop and change, don't. I don't.

You have to back your selections and if they're a constant failure, you must resign as you're not doing your job properly. Either that or the ECB way: blame the players you selected for not performing, then hide behind your colleagues until you're sacked.

Brass Monkey wrote:

tricycle wrote:I guess GGILF is the upper limit.

Although, I'd miss the target with them too.

Hmm.... I'd probably still take Joan Collins to town. Just for 'shiz and gigz' like.

There's a few who'd have a crack at Zsa Zsa ....if only to finally get her on the death list

embee wrote:

Brass Monkey wrote:

tricycle wrote:I guess GGILF is the upper limit.

Although, I'd miss the target with them too.

Hmm.... I'd probably still take Joan Collins to town. Just for 'shiz and gigz' like.

There's a few who'd have a crack at Zsa Zsa ....if only to finally get her on the death list

j

A fate worse than death?

Brass Monkey wrote:It's me mercilessly shoving my fleshy ram rod into whatever hole it found.

If you don't want to chop and change, don't. I don't.

You have to back your selections and if they're a constant failure, you must resign as you're not doing your job properly. Either that or the ECB way: blame the players you selected for not performing, then hide behind your colleagues until you're sacked.

It's the heartache of resignation, though. When you're not even getting paid the minimum wage in the first place.

Plus the stone cold certainty a couple are going to get decked. By ball or by fist.

embee wrote:

Brass Monkey wrote:

tricycle wrote:I guess GGILF is the upper limit.

Although, I'd miss the target with them too.

Hmm.... I'd probably still take Joan Collins to town. Just for 'shiz and gigz' like.

There's a few who'd have a crack at Zsa Zsa ....if only to finally get her on the death list

Crack? There are a few who'd take it on then.

Lucifer himself could smash Zsa Zsa with the force of 1000 suns for 1000 years and she would not die.

PeterCS wrote:
It's the heartache of resignation, though. When you're not even getting paid the minimum wage in the first place.

Plus the stone cold certainty a couple are going to get decked. By ball or by fist.

OK, it may make you question why you took the job in the first place. You must remind yourself it was for two reasons: chocolate orgies and 'shiz and gigz'.

Are you some sort of Ashes Agony Aunt now?

Ashes agony yes, but I think 'aunt' is an auto-correction.

lardbucket wrote:Ashes agony yes, but I think 'aunt' is an auto-correction.

He's an ant?

I'm no Agony Qunt. Do you think I want to hear about all of youse lot's bullshit?

Dear Dandrie, I've got an irrational hamster hatred, especially of potential fatties. I seem to pull on my scrotum until I can no longer see fattie hamsters. Please help. Signed, Berkshire blitherer.

Dear Dandrie, I feel the need to back hamster-faced gate merchants, at least until the time he fails repeatedly enough to bring his average down to sub-40. Is this wrong? Yours sincerely, Elitist from Notts.

Dear Dandrie, I've been fantasising about this ginger-bearded rat-like creature for years. I've literally orgasmed again and again to his creamy cover drive. Even though he hasn't done anything of note for an age, I still can't get that high elbow out of my head. Help me! Signed Englishman in Sydney.

I've got enough of my own agony to go through. F*ck everybody else. Marje Proops can go and f*ck herself. The slag.

Be careful - Dello will pull out the Hamsterdance, just to punish your misdemeanours.

An agony column might work well here, and some plain-speaking agony qunt talk often wouldn't go astray.

Berkshire blitherer? Not bad.

Wasn't Chas the real malteaserphobe?

He wad!

lardbucket wrote:An agony column might work well here, and some plain-speaking agony qunt talk often wouldn't go astray.

Berkshire blitherer? Not bad.

Wasn't Chas the real malteaserphobe?

There were a few of us. We were akin to early atheists. Now we are LEGION. Or was that 'Now we are WEASEL'? Either works.

That's too weaselly done.