I don't want to be treating you for stroke or heart attack

So said my doctor this morning.

Despite major dietary efforts for the last two years, I've got hypertriglyceridemia - which is a form of high cholesterol, apparently.

And to go with the doctor's words, here's what's now on the 'Foods to avoid' list:

• Whole eggs, egg yolks
  
• Whole milk and its products - butter, cream, cheese, ice-cream, yoghurt, condensed milk
  
• Brains, liver, pate, liverwurst, kidney, sweetbread
  
• Prawns, squid (calamari), fish roe, caviar, fish 'fingers', canned fish in oil (eg sardines)
  
• Fatty meats - bacon, ham, sausages, salami, canned meats, pressed meats, meat pastes, hamburger mince
  
• Duck, goose, skin of chicken and turkey, pressed chicken
  
• Pies, pasties, pastries, cakes, doughnuts, biscuits
  
• Fried chicken, chips, fish, dim sims, spring rolls, etc., hot dogs, pizzas, fried rice
  
• Cashews, macadamia nuts, cocnut, roasted nuts, brazil nuts, peanuts, peanut butter (Can have in very small amounts)
  
• Gravies, potato chips, caramel, chocolate (including carob), butterscotch, 'health food' bars, fudge, coffee whitener and other cream substitutes, toasted breakast cereals (especially with coconut)
  
• Saturated fats - lard, dripping, suet, copha, cooking (hard) margarine, coconut and palm oils, mayonnaise
  
• Fried foods, foods roasted in fat.
  

Wow. I'm looking forawrd to living on trhe cardboard boxes all the foods I like are packed in.

There is an accompanying list of 'Suitable foods' but it's just too depressing.

So that's no more brains fried in lard with sweetbreads on the side for you for a mid morning snack then, Zatty....

Yep.

Might as well be a freakin rabbit.

Dandelion leaves and grass are on the 'good' list are they?

Poor thing

The upside is that you will lose so much weight that they will start treating you for AIDS

Thanks (I think) taips.

Selected items from the 'Eat this' list...

Egg whites, cottage and ricotta cheese, bread, crumpets, almonds, canned spaghetti, alcohol (small amounts)...

Anyway, pardon me, but Mrs Zat has cooked my dinner and I must go and eat now.

Rice. With a little bit of chicken.

Of course, she's having a nice Korma...

That's ridiculous. Crumpets are worse for you than macadamia nuts. And most rice is high GI. Idiotic.

Crumpet is non fattening

High GI doesn't = high bad cholestoral levels.

Yes, but the list definitely says crumpets. Maybe he's supposed to indulge in threesomes . . . though I'm sure the Mrs would have something to say about that . . .

eowyn wrote:High GI doesn't = high bad cholestoral levels.

No, but high GI foods are not usually the order of the day for people with potential heart problems. Besides, who can live on bloody rice?

the way you were going hyper I knew something was wrong ... tried my level best to restrain myself despite umpteen provocations.

I guess I was right after all ... well done me. *pats himself on the back*

btw check yourself for diabetes too .. sometimes cholesterol goes out of whack despite all self-control due to insulin issues.

People did in Japanese prisoner of war camps, just.......

Low G.I. came about from improving diabetics diets and having foods that keep blood glucose levels at a more constant level, rather than having a quick surge and then low drop you get with High G.I. foods, the heart benefits are a side benefit.

Aye, and I've seen the photos. Looks like Belsen.

low G. I = pulses, brown rice, corn etc.

By the way, Zatty, does the doc have you jogging around the block half a dozen times every morning as well?

Zat - All I can say is good luck! I hope your condition improves and quality of life is not given too much of a beating.

Jebus. A sad day that would be. F*ck it off. Just eat what you want.

Actually a few days before a friend said that he had triglyceride levels of 350 despite being on a completely vegetarian, low G. I diet. His wife was very serious in restraining his diet etc and despite that it TGL didn't come down. It's then that the doctor suspected diabetes and checked insulin and bingo the fasting sugar levels were above normal.

Batfink Begins wrote:Jebus. A sad day that would be. F*ck it off. Just eat what you want.

Get stuffed, Danny. This world needs the Zatster.

taipan wrote:Crumpet is non fattening

Indeed. I normally lose a bit of weight after an encounter with a nice bit of crumpet.

Zat wrote:So said my doctor this morning.

Despite major dietary efforts for the last two years, I've got hypertriglyceridemia - which is a form of high cholesterol, apparently.

And to go with the doctor's words, here's what's now on the 'Foods to avoid' list:

• Whole eggs, egg yolks
  
• Whole milk and its products - butter, cream, cheese, ice-cream, yoghurt, condensed milk
  
• Brains, liver, pate, liverwurst, kidney, sweetbread
  
• Prawns, squid (calamari), fish roe, caviar, fish 'fingers', canned fish in oil (eg sardines)
  
• Fatty meats - bacon, ham, sausages, salami, canned meats, pressed meats, meat pastes, hamburger mince
  
• Duck, goose, skin of chicken and turkey, pressed chicken
  
• Pies, pasties, pastries, cakes, doughnuts, biscuits
  
• Fried chicken, chips, fish, dim sims, spring rolls, etc., hot dogs, pizzas, fried rice
  
• Cashews, macadamia nuts, cocnut, roasted nuts, brazil nuts, peanuts, peanut butter (Can have in very small amounts)
  
• Gravies, potato chips, caramel, chocolate (including carob), butterscotch, 'health food' bars, fudge, coffee whitener and other cream substitutes, toasted breakast cereals (especially with coconut)
  
• Saturated fats - lard, dripping, suet, copha, cooking (hard) margarine, coconut and palm oils, mayonnaise
  
• Fried foods, foods roasted in fat.
  

Wow. I'm looking forawrd to living on trhe cardboard boxes all the foods I like are packed in.

There is an accompanying list of 'Suitable foods' but it's just too depressing.

Commiserations Zoggy. I too have high triglycerides. I went on the cardboard diet and it made fark all difference to my numbers over a 6 month period. So I fixed the problem by neglecting to have any more blood tests. I eat sensibly but be farked if I'm gonna give up all of life's pleasures and be picking Visy products out of my teeth for the rest of my life. A rollicking 75 years p!sses all over a tediously fastidious 80 years. [clinks red wine glass]

Well, thanks all for the nice words.

As the levels were basically off the chart - despite a pretty good (not exceptional) diet, the doc's words were a bit of a surprise. There's no diabetes, tests for that were normal.

The diet is something I'll have to live with.

I'm also on pills to bring it down.

But let me say this, Friday night, I'm off to the pub for what will probably be a last blast for quite a while!

And one thing that amused me was that they had the courtesy on the 'bad' list to include chocolate, but also had the decency to say that f*cking awful 'health nazi' product carob on it as well.

Zatty,

That list takes everything that is good in the world out of your diet....

Stick to it though mate, and then once your back on the chart again, it'll all taste so much better!

It'll be a cheap blow out at those prices at the RSL though mind.