The Simpsons Quote Thread!!!!

[Invader Zim]

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Ham?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Pork chops?

Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!

Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

[Invader Zim]

Homer (on phone): Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!

Marge: HOMER!

Homer: I gotta go Moe, my damn weiner kids are listening.

[taipan]

could we substitute sook for suck?

[Invader Zim]

Is it just me or does Ralph Wiggum remind you of some subi forumers?

Ralph: [whispering] Lisa, what's the answer to number seven?

Lisa: [whispering] Sorry, Ralph. That would defeat the purpose of testing as a means of student evaluation.

Ralph: [pauses] My cat's name is Mittens.

[JGK]

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Ham?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Pork chops?

Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!

Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Bastard. That was going to be my contribution.

[Henry]

Homer- See honey? You tried your best but you failed. So the lesson is- Never try.

[Invader Zim]

Grandpa Simpson (writing): Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot.

[Henry]

Homer- Alcohol. The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

[eowyn]

Mr.Burns: Quick Smithers. Bring the mind eraser device! Smithers:You mean the revolver, sir? Mr.Burns: Precisely.

[JGK]

"You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine."

[skully]

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Homer Simpson - legend.

[skully]

Homer: Lisa, would you like a donut?
Lisa: No thanks. Do you have any fruit?
Homer: This has purple in it. Purple is a fruit.

[skully]

Homer: From now on, there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way.
Bart: Isn't that just the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster!

[skully]

I could go on for hours but you get the picture.

[Anniyan]

Bart : Hey, I think I hear a dingo eating your baby

[Lara Lara Laughs]

One of my favourites is when Homer's reminiscing about his childhood and his first day at school. As he's walking out of the door, Abe says "Just remember, you're as dumb as a mule and twice as ugly" and then, cheerily, "seeya!".

[doremi]

I loved the Bart prank calls to Moe.

Moe: Moe's Tavern.
Bart: [on phone] Is Mr. Freely there?
Moe: Who?
Bart: Freely, first initials I.P.
Moe: OK, I'll check. Uh, is I.P. Freely here? Hey everbody, I.P. Freely!
Moe: Wait a minute. Listen to me you lousy bum. When I get a hold of you, you're dead, I swear I'm going to slice your heart in half!
Homer: You'll get that punk someday, Moe.
Moe: Oh I don't know, he's tough to catch. He keeps changing his name.

[HH_pink]

I could go on for hours but you get the picture.

No. MOAR!!

[doremi]

Bart: Contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners; only losers. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: the American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars Trilogy. If you'd like to learn more about war, there's lots of books in your local library, many of them with cool gory pictures.

[HH_pink]

What's I.P mean? I get the idea, but precisely what?

Edit: Apparently, I didn't have a clue.

[doremi]

Mission accomplished.

[doremi]

Homer: What am I gonna do? I've murdered us all!!! [echoes] Shut up!!! [echoes] D'oh!!! [echoes]

Ah, good times.

[HH_pink]

I pee freely.

Really?

But, D'oh.

[doremi]

Moe: Moe's Tavern.
Bart: Hello, is Al there?
Moe: Al?
Bart: Yeah, Al. Last name: Coholic.
Moe: Lemme check... [to bar] Phone call for Al, Al Coholic! Is there an Al Coholic here? [bar denizens laugh] Wait a minute... [in phone] Listen, you yellow-bellied jackass, if I ever find out where you are, I'm gonna kill you!

[skully]

Long day on the books Pinky???

[Sponsored content]