Re: AFL 2008 thread

by Lara Lara Laughs Wed 02 Apr 2008, 03:17

Well I'm sticking with the bloody giblets through thick and thin. If we can just beat some of the other teams by passing that peanut around a bit then I'm sure everything will be gravy.

by Paul Keating Wed 02 Apr 2008, 05:35

LLL,

Go back to your EPL thread.

by freddled gruntbuggly Wed 02 Apr 2008, 08:00

Nath wrote:
skully wrote:
Nath wrote:7 for me. Stoopid E-girls!
Still, you can't be unhappy about the them being knocked over (tipping comp a side)?
not really fussed either way, as long as Hawthorn keep winning.

Oh great! Woof 'em when they're on top of the ladder, why don't you? Rolling Eyes

You know this means we'll lose every game for the rest of the season and be challenging Carlton and Melbourne for the wooden spoon?

by lardbucket Wed 02 Apr 2008, 08:39

No-one can challenge Carlton or Melbourne for the wooden spoon.

Their game will be fascinating ...

At this stage I predict Carlton 1.108.114 over Melbourne 0.111.111, and Fev will be sacked for kicking the only goal.

A new law will have to be drafted to ban the 'rushed' behind. Carlton and Melbourne rushing behinds, you ask? How gay. Yes.

by lardbucket Wed 02 Apr 2008, 10:06

JGK wrote:You tipped the Swans and North! Well done.

got 7 ... was pleased, but four batsards in my local comp tipped all 8

by Ross Wed 02 Apr 2008, 22:21

The line for Melbourne is around 75 points. Could be worth a pineapple since the game is at the cattery. A bit of wind and light rain would make it difficult to score heavily.

Otherwise, I'll tip Saints, Hawks, Freo, Lions, Essendon, Collingwood and Crows

by embee Thu 03 Apr 2008, 02:01

Carlton Review - Player status report as of 30.3.08

ANDREW WALKER - Still in therapy from playing 22 positions in 22 weeks
under Denis Pagan.

JORDAN RUSSELL - Half of our fans think it's disrespectful to the great
John Nicholls to allow Jordan Russell to meander around in the number 2
jumper. The other half think it's disrespectful to Dominic Fotia.

MARC MURPHY - Highly talented youngster who is widely regarded as the worst
decision maker in the game after turning down the chance to go to Brisbane
under the father/son rule.

BRYCE GIBBS - Has been nicknamed Schapelle because he's counting the days
until he's allowed to go home.

CHRIS JUDD - Judd is severely hampered by a long term groin injury. He has
lost explosive pace, can't kick over 40 metres, is unable to turn freely
and can only play 60% of game time. Clearly the best player on the list.

KADE SIMPSON - is like the average looking bird at a party that you chat up
so you know you've got a guaranteed root in case you can't land something
decent. Made captain till something better came along and then dropped like
a Cain Ackland chest mark.

MATTHEW KREUZER - Was named as the player to lead the club out of the
wilderness by our President Tricky *** y, who the called him Matt Kruger in
the same sentence. Don't know about the kid, but for god sake keep Pratt
away from the players.

JASON SADDINGTON - Sydney capped off their unforgettable Premiership win in
2005 by off-loading Jason Saddington on the Blues.

RICHARD HADLEY - Plays footy not unlike Richard Hadlee from NZ would play
the game. Should only be picked if the Blues win the toss and bowl first.

CAIN ACKLAND - The story goes that when Greg Swann was woken by a call in
the middle of the night and told that one of his players had been
videotaped urinating on a nightclub window, he knelt by the side of his bed
and prayed it was Cain Ackland.

LUKE BLACKWELL - Selected by Carlton under the father/ordinary son rule.
He's a smaller, weaker, less talented version of his father Wayne.

BRAD FISHER - Unshaven half forward flanker who could comfortably pass for
one of the homeless. Broke his thumb in the pre-season after getting
punched in the nose outside a soup kitchen.

SHAUN GRIGG - Loves to run with the footy. I suggest we buy him a Sherrin,
drop him off on the Western Highway and hope he runs back home to Ballarat.

SETANTA O'hAILPIN - In four years the Irishman has failed to grasp even the
most basic concepts of AFL football. During Round One this year he was
asked to pay more attention to loose men, so after the game he went
cruising for action down Commercial Road in Prahran.

AISAKE O'hAILPIN - Has learnt everything he knows about footy from his
older brother. In other words he thinks the MCG can fly because it has two
wings.

PAUL BOWER - Looks like Curly Austin from the 1970s, plays like a Curly
Howard from The Three Stooges.

EDDIE BETTS - If that's the case he should have $100 on Carlton to win the
spoon.

ADAM HARTLETT - The Blues new enforcer took out Cam Howat behind the play
in Round One. He's currently suspended, but will be back to take out Ricky
Petterd against the Dees in Round Four.

BRENDAN FEVOLA - The Fevola File is now into its 7th bound edition. Fev had
a tumultuous pre-season, but told the match committee he has learnt from
his mistakes. He has promised to fire up against Collingwood by taking out
*** , then follow it up against the Eagles by peeing on Glass.

CAMERON CLOKE - Getting a ruckman that Collingwood rejects is like going to
Calcutta to replace your chauffeur.

HEATH SCOTLAND - Heath is a favourite in footy Dream Teams. Unfortunately
for Carlton they don't play their matches on some pimply nerd's laptop.

JARRAD WAITE - Waite could do with a little more weight and he doesn't have
to look far. It's hanging over the top of Nick Stevens's shorts.

JORDAN BANNISTER - In 1954 Roger Bannister broke the four-minute mile. In
2008 Jordan Bannister is hoping to break the four-possession game.

BRET THORNTON - Tireless defender whose weekly misery is compounded by
knowing that for two glorious days in October 2006, he was a Hawk.

RYAN HOULIHAN - The last of the four Houlihan sisters to play League
football. Post-retirement he's destined to live in the same trailer park as
the Whitnall brothers

SIMON WIGGINS - For the third year running the Blues forgot to de-list
Wiggins because he's so forgettable. Has played 89 games for the club and
at the current rate will play his 100th in 2012.

DARREN PFEIFFER - Youngster who will have to come to terms with the fact
that Fev will never be able to spell his surname because it starts with a
silent pee.

ANDREW CARAZZO - Ball magnet with a kicking impediment. He only told the
club this year that Carazzo is Italian for turnover.

by horace Thu 03 Apr 2008, 02:26

that is a complete hit ...or in carlton's case a miss...

by embee Thu 03 Apr 2008, 04:05

Derby form guide

Written by Shane Richmond
In this week's edition of The New England Journal of Medicine, there is a paper on some new research into a mysterious disease known as Derbynesia. It's a strange affliction which renders the victim unable to recall any matches between the Fremantle Dockers and the West Coast Eagles since 2002. To avoid catching the disease, doctors recommend the public avoid drinking excessive amounts of chardonnay, driving imported cars, wearing the colours blue and yellow and ringing up talkback radio to discuss what's wrong with Fremantle.

With another epidemic hitting the population of Perth this week, you could be excused for thinking that somehow the West Coast Eagles were a team who Fremantle struggled against. One prominent football insider has even fallen victim, suggesting that Fremantle should show more respect to the team that they keep beating by ever increasing margins.

Last year, the Dockers kicked a staggering 19 goals to beat the Eagles in what was supposed to be a one sided contest the other way. Entering the match, West Coast were touted as having a full strength side that were on track to win back to back flags. Unfortunately for them, they soon had a nasty run in with reality as a fired up and focused Fremantle side run them ragged and gave them a lesson in pressure football.

Lacking discipline and any semblance of structure, the Eagles played like a side that believed their own media department, as Josh Carr lead from the front, playing hard passionate football. Jeff Farmer and Josh Carr kicked 3 goals each while Mark LeCras was aided to 4 goals by the umpires. Paul Hasleby had the most of the footy for Fremantle and Daniel Kerr for the Eagles but it was Josh Carr who took home all the accolades and shiny trinkets with 26 disposals, 3 goals and an unprecedented number of niggles.

Crippled by injury and a prejudiced tribunal, Freo went into the first derby that same year severely undermanned but still confident of continuing their unprecedented string of victories against the Eagles. Unfortunately, they hadn't counted on even more suspicious umpiring than all the previously suspiciously umpired derby's and were pipped at the line, leaving them to start their run of wins all over again in Round 18.

It was a tough result for Fremantle fans who hadn't had to deal with losing to the drug addled mob from up the road for quite some time. The Dockers beat the Eagles everywhere except the scoreboard and the free kick count as their hard tackling went unrewarded, their forwards were left to the mercy of the Eagles unholy whims and the West Coast forward spent so much time falling over it looked like a scene from a Charlie Chaplin film. Matthew Pavlich still managed to get two goals and Josh Carr put through a couple of his own. Steven Armstrong jagged 3 for the other mob. As well as risking the license of a major television station, Michael Braun had the most of the ball for the day and therefore was given the Rosco medal by the panel of very astute judges (just not very astute football judges). Paul Hasleby had the most of the ball for Fremantle with 20 kicks and three or four handballs for good measure. Shaun McManus, Josh Carr and Roger Hayden picked up the 3-2-1 in the Clinton Wolf Medal.

If you're not familiar with Fremantle's Derby dominance in recent times, you're probably an Eagles supporter. The selective memory that comes with an Eagles membership seems to leave them thinking they haven't lost a Derby since Brett Heady was gliding over the top of 17 year olds in green jumpers.

In actual fact, Fremantle have a 75% win record against the Eagles in the past two seasons, 83% if you include the two resounding NAB Cup Victories.

Earlier this year, the Dockers encountered the Eagles in a highly anticipated pre-season cup match. In another complete and utter thrashing of the Eagles, lead by a fired up Des Headland, Fremantle used their opening pre-season match to test out their bodies after a summer of hard work. Kicking goals at will, treating the game like a well drilled training session Farmer, Pavlich, Mundy and Paul Hasleby all kicked multiple goals as the Dockers cruised to a 44 point win and, in the process, contributed to the exhaustion of every excuse the Eagles PR machine had in their arsenal. Des Headland played so well that his Brownlow odds halved and Jeff Farmer delighted all with his return to football.

So far this year, the Eagles have scraped over the line against an under manned, travel wearing, dehydrated Brisbane Lions side just before they were given a Derby style thrashing at the hands of the Adelaide Crows. Adelaide managed to kick 21 goals to the Eagles 8 and win the game by 76 points, relegating the Eagles to the bottom 8 with the 4th lowest percentage.

In their two games this season, Fremantle have shown that they can mix it with the best. Pushing the top side right to the final siren last week and almost knocking off one of the premiership favourites a week earlier, in hostile territory. While yet to win a game, a win on Saturday night is likely to push Fremantle well into the top eight.

by horace Thu 03 Apr 2008, 05:53

the weazels are the best argument i have heard for the Fremantle Football Club

by lardbucket Fri 04 Apr 2008, 07:39

Ross wrote:The line for Melbourne is around 75 points. Could be worth a pineapple since the game is at the cattery. A bit of wind and light rain would make it difficult to score heavily.

Otherwise, I'll tip Saints, Hawks, Freo, Lions, Essendon, Collingwood and Crows

Dogs, Hawks, Weagles, Lions, Bombers, Cats, whoever's playing Collingwood (ie Richmond), and (the roughie) Port.

by Nath Sat 05 Apr 2008, 06:46

Hawks win!!! bounce

by apres dix ans Sat 05 Apr 2008, 09:23

lardbucket wrote:
Ross wrote:The line for Melbourne is around 75 points. Could be worth a pineapple since the game is at the cattery. A bit of wind and light rain would make it difficult to score heavily.

Otherwise, I'll tip Saints, Hawks, Freo, Lions, Essendon, Collingwood and Crows

Dogs, Hawks, Weagles, Lions, Bombers, Cats, whoever's playing Collingwood (ie Richmond), and (the roughie) Port.

The Saints stuffed my tips last night with their midfield disappearing act. Hawthorn did the right thing this arvo though. Two amazing games.

West Coast, Fitzroy, Bombers, Geelong, Collingwood, Magpies in the remainder.

Thats the annoying thing about tipping though. I would love Freo to win but i've tipped the Weagles so i'm barracking for them. To complicate things even more i've got Pavlich as captain in my dreamteam so everytime he marks and scores for Freo i get 24 points.

by embee Sat 05 Apr 2008, 09:41

Suck shit to the Toast and their fans ....

by skully Sat 05 Apr 2008, 13:34

Toast lose, Swans win - good times.

by tac Sat 05 Apr 2008, 13:35

Not likely to encourage zimmy back any time soon . . .

by skully Sat 05 Apr 2008, 13:36

tac wrote:Not likely to encourage zimmy back any time soon . . .

Hehehe, my exact thoughts as I posted my last entry!!

by lardbucket Sun 06 Apr 2008, 12:17

I sure stuffed the tips this week ...

I now realise that I should tip Collingwood every week from now on (except when they play Geelong) ... if they lose, it's worth getting that game wrong; if they win, the correct tip is some consolation.

by skully Sun 06 Apr 2008, 12:32

RD spewing into his VB out Broken Hill way at the moment over another Blues capitulation.

by lardbucket Sun 06 Apr 2008, 12:33

skully wrote:RD spewing into his VB

wasted effort

by skully Sun 06 Apr 2008, 12:38

I was speaking meteorically lardy!!!

by lardbucket Sun 06 Apr 2008, 12:40

skully wrote:I was speaking meteorically lardy!!!

vomit, comet, it's all the same

by skully Sun 06 Apr 2008, 12:47

Indeed, piefellow.

by embee Sun 06 Apr 2008, 13:57

I got 7 this week ...stoopid saints

by G.Wood Mon 07 Apr 2008, 01:27

skully wrote:RD spewing into his VB out Broken Hill way at the moment over another Blues capitulation.

meh, I was more worried during the 3rd quarter when it looked like they had forgotten about the priority pick. Blooody fev

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