Wackiest headline of the year?

Just saw:

BEER BOTTLE STUCK IN MAN'S COLON

Seems it took two operations to remove it. (No, don't ask me how they did it in two.) And neither he nor the doctors know how it got there...

That explains zimmy's disappearance . . .

My friend is a nurse in A&E and she said that a man 'fell' on a lightbulb once.
Wonder if the same thing happened to him?

Demelza wrote:My friend is a nurse in A&E and she said that a man 'fell' on a lightbulb once.
Wonder if the same thing happened to him?

Have you still got your pet gerbil?

I've read of a woman who couldn't tell doctors why they had to remove four oranges from her. And then there was the infamous Dustette, which would suddenly turn itself on and lacerate hundreds of naked men as they brushed past...

taipan wrote:

Demelza wrote:My friend is a nurse in A&E and she said that a man 'fell' on a lightbulb once.
Wonder if the same thing happened to him?

Have you still got your pet gerbil?

Don't even think of it. Those thingies have teeth.

mynah wrote:I've read of a woman who couldn't tell doctors why they had to remove four oranges from her. And then there was the infamous Dustette, which would suddenly turn itself on and lacerate hundreds of naked men as they brushed past...

Navel oranges?

taipan wrote:

Demelza wrote:My friend is a nurse in A&E and she said that a man 'fell' on a lightbulb once.
Wonder if the same thing happened to him?

Have you still got your pet gerbil?

No, I mislaid it.

Demelza wrote:

taipan wrote:

Demelza wrote:My friend is a nurse in A&E and she said that a man 'fell' on a lightbulb once.
Wonder if the same thing happened to him?

Have you still got your pet gerbil?

No, I mislaid it.

Got lost in the bush?

mynah wrote:
I've read of a woman who couldn't tell doctors why they had to remove four oranges from her. And then there was the infamous Dustette, which would suddenly turn itself on and lacerate hundreds of naked men as they brushed past...


Navel oranges?

Wrong address

taipan wrote:

Demelza wrote:

taipan wrote:

Demelza wrote:My friend is a nurse in A&E and she said that a man 'fell' on a lightbulb once.
Wonder if the same thing happened to him?

Have you still got your pet gerbil?

No, I mislaid it.

Got lost in the bush?

I think the beaver ate it.

New candidate:
"Doctors Find Toothbrush In Woman's Nose"

And of course there have been the various cellphone candidates

taipan wrote:And of course there have been the various cellphone candidates

Well, they shouldn't have a vibrating feature, should they.

It's called ringing your bell

Demelza wrote:My friend is a nurse in A&E and she said that a man 'fell' on a lightbulb once.
Wonder if the same thing happened to him?

Well, a mate of mine fell on a wine bottle. There were a few witnesses there at the time - fell over, right on the neck of the bottle, went through his trousers and boxers and straight up his scheissenheimer. The bottle broke, plenty of blood and a trip to A&E ensued. Must've been a 1 in a million chance of that happening.

Read one about an American woman who used a whole potato to keep everything in place, and forgot about it - until, some time later, she went to the doctor complaining about "them green vines in the virginny".

That lends a whole new dimension to 'Carry me back to old Virginny' ...

And Dem/mynah, regarding the cellphones ... the punters usually present to A&E requesting not removal, but a simple battery change

lardbucket wrote:That lends a whole new dimension to 'Carry me back to old Virginny' ...

And Dem/mynah, regarding the cellphones ... the punters usually present to A&E requesting not removal, but a simple battery change

In situ?

That would require some dexterity.

True, couldn't happen without fingering a suspect.

There's so many questions I want to ask........

http://www.mymultiplesclerosis.co.uk/misc/rosesiggins.html

Demelza wrote:There's so many questions I want to ask........

http://www.mymultiplesclerosis.co.uk/misc/rosesiggins.html

Touching story. I interviewed a wonderful guy with the same condition once. Don't know why the URL says "multiple sclerosis", though?

Try this for wacky:

Red Sox Rout Indians 11-2 to Advance to World Series

The Red Sox will host the Colorado Rockies in the World
Series opener Wednesday night at Fenway Park.

How many countries are participating?
How often is the final played on another continent?
How many winners have come from outside the US?
How many Americans know that where is a world beyond their borders?

mynah wrote:
How many countries are participating?
How often is the final played on another continent?
How many winners have come from outside the US?
How many Americans know that where is a world beyond their borders?

The newspaper "The World" sponsored it in it's early stages - hence the World Series.

But most Yankee fat-heads probably don't know that either and probably think the whole world plays baseball, but just aren't good enough to compete.