Re: The 'number 1' ranking

by Brass Monkey Wed 03 Aug 2011, 18:39

I didn't realise I was supposed to be making feasible meals. Who in the living f*ck are you - Greg f*cking Wallace? JEsus.

by PeterCS Wed 03 Aug 2011, 19:34

Even worse - he spells it Gregg.

Qunt.

John Tirade - thunderquichequnt.

by Brass Monkey Wed 03 Aug 2011, 19:44

Good f'rim. I'll remember to write that on his birthday card!

by eowyn Wed 03 Aug 2011, 20:00

For years I thought he was called Jonty Rode.

by Brass Monkey Wed 03 Aug 2011, 20:02

Heh. I thought for years that he was gayer than a Julian Clary tribute night.

by eowyn Wed 03 Aug 2011, 20:03

They both are.

by Brass Monkey Wed 03 Aug 2011, 20:06

Well, for once I meant homosexual, rather than the 'South Park' gay.

by eowyn Wed 03 Aug 2011, 20:12

Really? That is interesting.

Gregg (2 gees) reminds me of my grandma, she had similar glasses in the early 70's.

by Jontyh Wed 03 Aug 2011, 20:17

Cooking dasn't get mach taffer than this.
No. And watching you stuff your fat face with the chocklat desserts doesn't get much tougher either, you grocer qunt.

by eowyn Wed 03 Aug 2011, 20:22

He's a wealthy greeen grosser, unfortch.

by Jontyh Wed 03 Aug 2011, 20:23

F*ck him. There's loads of qunts who are wadded and without an apparent semblence of talent. Bah.

by eowyn Wed 03 Aug 2011, 20:30

Too true. Look at Simon Cowell.

by Jontyh Wed 03 Aug 2011, 20:41

Well, in fairness he knows what he's doing. You can't say XFactor wasn't a good idea.
I was thinking more of your Kardassians or Jordans or Peter Andres - that kind of qunt.

by eowyn Wed 03 Aug 2011, 20:42

Kardassian's, aren't they in Star Trek?

by Jontyh Wed 03 Aug 2011, 21:03

They may well be. But I'm referring to some vacuous Seppo family that are more nauseating than a week old camel carcass. My son watches them on some kind of reality drivel that makes me want to blow my own brains out.

by Brass Monkey Wed 03 Aug 2011, 21:04

He's probably only checking out the slamming lady lumps

by Jontyh Wed 03 Aug 2011, 21:06

Fair play to the boy then.
But as I've referred him to XHamster, I'm not sure why he's bothering with that tame shite.

by Brass Monkey Wed 03 Aug 2011, 21:15

Well that's a start! Jebus! Wally can point him towards some good sh!t, mark my words!

by LeFromage Wed 03 Aug 2011, 21:22

Lara Lara Laughs wrote:Does anyone reckon this current England side are better than the Ashes 2005 side?

I'm thinking player by player - 2011 side has slightly better batting and keeper. 2005 has a slightly better bowling attack, mainly thanks to Fred and S.Jones. Even then I'm not sure. Something like:

Strauss > Strauss
Trescothick > Cook
Vaughan < Trott
Bell < KP
KP > Bell
Flintoff > Morgan
GJones < Prior
Giles < Swann
SJones > Anderson
Hoggard = Tremlett
Harmison = Broad

Is that about right? It's obviously quite difficult to match some of the bowlers up. And the middle order could be Bell < Bell and KP > KP. It's a toughie.

But if they were to play each other, I think you'd have to back 2011 wouldn't you? Just because of their more reliable batting and brilliant tail. It'd be a brilliant game. However if you believe 2011 would win, it suggests that current England side would beat the Aussie 2005 side, perhaps slightly more comfortably than Eng 2005 did, which does not sit right either.

It's a right old puzzler to think about.

Stealing his material from the Bails once again, Simon Hughes's article in the Telegraph today attempted to make a case for a composite side of 2005 MBEs and current plebs.

F*cked it, he did.

Strauss > Cook
Trescothick > Cook
TMS buddy Vaughan > Trott @60
Pietersen > Trott @60
Bell > Trott @60
Flintoff > Trott@60
Prior
Broad (wasn't he basically out of the side two games ago?) > Hoggard, Harmison and co.
Swann
Simon Jones > everyone
Anderson

by Brass Monkey Wed 03 Aug 2011, 21:25

Yoz lost it years ago. Years. I think he was hanging out the back of takeaways inhaling freon too long.

by spangler Thu 04 Aug 2011, 06:47

He's been sniffing Mandira Bedi's crumpet in the portaloos at the back of the ITV4 parking lot. It gets to you after a while

by Brass Monkey Thu 04 Aug 2011, 08:50

Good point spang. Just her talking to you for more than 5 minutes would start to f*ck one's brain like a growing blood clot. I'm surprised he's not being spoon-fed Angel Delight for dinner every night.

by Lara Lara Laughs Thu 04 Aug 2011, 08:57

Errn, excuse me guys, sorry to bother you but could someone ACTUALLY ANSWER MY F*CKING QUESTION?!

2005 vs 2011 - who would win?

If the next words out of any of your keyboards aren't related to that question, so help me God.... I'm likely to go as mental as a paving slab with a chewing gum habit.

by Brass Monkey Thu 04 Aug 2011, 09:01

Who'd win? Cricket. Who'd lose? Society. Why? Because anyone could get hold of our time machine blueprint, make one and absolutely wreak havoc back in the past. Or, the future I suppose. Thankfully, this situation can still be prevented.

by Jontyh Thu 04 Aug 2011, 09:44

Agreed. Ian Bell could play Marty in the film version though.
I'm not sure who would be Doc - Aggers, perhaps?

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