New Zealand v England, 1st Test, Dunedin, 6-10 March, 2013

Grouse day's cricket.

agree....wonder what the odds were of that happening

great effort by Rutherford on debut...must be heartening for the snoozies who have been on their knees

taipan wrote:

Big Dog wrote:The Poms performance is looking a little Australianesque

Harsh

Not really

Great stuff Kiwis. Noticed that it took awhile for the odds to go NZ's favour. Even when England lost early wickets they were still clear favourites. Bookies don't trust the kiwis. Big turnaround from the SA debacle.

Expected their bowlers to ask some early questions but their batsmen pushed home the advantage.

Henry wrote:Arguably England's worst day of test cricket since 51 all out at Sabina Park in 2009.

Utterly pathetic.

I'd agree with this - quite an abomination. It smacks of complacence.

Wonder if Vaughan is so chirpy in his tweets today.

What a suckfest.

Batted like they couldn't give two shits. More soft dismissals in one innings than you would see in an ODI. Body language was terrible in the field once the bowlers quickly realised it was flat as f*ck and they weren't going to bail the batsmen out by knocking NZ over on the cheap. Everyone seemed to throw the towel in.

Horrible stuff. But predictable - as has been mentioned numerous times, England have been bundled out for under 200 in the first innings of the first Test of their last four away series. In the fifth, they just about made 250 against Australia's pop-gun attack (including giving Peter Siddle a hat-trick).

Good luck to Rutherford, though. Seems a decent prospect. Bruce Martin, not so much. A worse 4-for you'll never see in a Test match. All incompetently executed hoicks off hit-me balls.

Red wrote:Wonder if Vaughan is so chirpy in his tweets today.

"You've got to respect the game and today England didn't respect the game. They took the mickey out of Mr Cricket. England's mindset has been over-confident; they weren't prepared to do the hard yards."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/21696229

Henry wrote:FFS, KP drops a sitter off Broad. Wake up KP! You're playing a test match! Stop dreaming of the Delhi Daredevils!!

C*nt.

It's pretty hard to catch them if you don't see them. It was fairly obvious from the way he moved left - in wrong direction - before the ball hit him that he didn't pick it up at all.

But, as it's Pietersen, I suppose "stop dreaming about money" is the standard response.

Dello wrote:

Red wrote:Wonder if Vaughan is so chirpy in his tweets today.

"You've got to respect the game and today England didn't respect the game. They took the mickey out of Mr Cricket. England's mindset has been over-confident; they weren't prepared to do the hard yards."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/21696229

What's Mike Hussey got to do with it?

Anyway, shambolic performance against a team probably weaker than an average county side. Have they been on an all night drinking session in the England rugby team's favourite dwarf-throwing venue or something? Odds on to lose by lunch, odds on to lose by an innings by close of play. If they collapse to 250 or so then there might still be a chance of setting a target, but I think there's more chance of the Snoozers only having to bat once.

Henry wrote:Arguably England's worst day of test cricket since 51 all out at Sabina Park in 2009.

Utterly pathetic.

I dunno - they were atrocious in the UAE against Pakistan: the bowlers worked their arses off the get the team into a potential winning position in every game, only for the batting to implode every single time.

Dello wrote:

Henry wrote:Arguably England's worst day of test cricket since 51 all out at Sabina Park in 2009.

Utterly pathetic.

I dunno - they were atrocious in the UAE against Pakistan: the bowlers worked their arses off the get the team into a potential winning position in every game, only for the batting to implode every single time.

At least the bowlers turned up there...

beamer wrote:

Dello wrote:

Red wrote:Wonder if Vaughan is so chirpy in his tweets today.

"You've got to respect the game and today England didn't respect the game. They took the mickey out of Mr Cricket. England's mindset has been over-confident; they weren't prepared to do the hard yards."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/21696229

What's Mike Hussey got to do with it?

It's a good question. Perhaps whoever transcribed the quotes got a bit confused. More likely, perhaps Michael "Stuart Broad is the most intelligent bowler I've ever worked with" Vaughan got a bit confused.

And then his knee fell off.

You can't say that 167ao, followed up by 131/0 - against the 8th ranked side in world cricket, one who lost to Bangladesh not long ago and crumpled in SA - is better than the UAE shit. If you do think that, you've completely lost it - almost as much as the England shower who stank up a NZ pitch a few hours previous.

beamer wrote:

Dello wrote:

Henry wrote:Arguably England's worst day of test cricket since 51 all out at Sabina Park in 2009.

Utterly pathetic.

I dunno - they were atrocious in the UAE against Pakistan: the bowlers worked their arses off the get the team into a potential winning position in every game, only for the batting to implode every single time.

At least the bowlers turned up there...

They didn't bowl too terribly today. But it became apparent very quickly that the pitch has nothing in it at all: easy paced, no spin, no seam, no swing or reverse. Nada.

167 was an absolute joke. Every batsman should've scored that on their own. Minimum.

Brass Monkey wrote:You can't say that 167ao, followed up by 131/0 - against the 8th ranked side in world cricket, one who lost to Bangladesh not long ago and crumpled in SA - is better than the UAE shit. If you do think that, you've completely lost it - almost as much as the England shower who stank up a NZ pitch a few hours previous.

I can and I have.

The UAE debacle was worse - because of the hope. That's always the kicker.

Today there was no hope. Just one side resigned to their fate to lose the first Test of every tour against anyone of any degree of able-bodiedness.

Dello wrote:

beamer wrote:

Dello wrote:

Henry wrote:Arguably England's worst day of test cricket since 51 all out at Sabina Park in 2009.

Utterly pathetic.

I dunno - they were atrocious in the UAE against Pakistan: the bowlers worked their arses off the get the team into a potential winning position in every game, only for the batting to implode every single time.

At least the bowlers turned up there...

They didn't bowl too terribly today. But it became apparent very quickly that the pitch has nothing in it at all: easy paced, no spin, no seam, no swing or reverse. Nada.

167 was an absolute joke. Every batsman should've scored that on their own. Minimum.

But as recent opponents have shown, you should be getting NZ all out for 131 if you were bowling on a chunk of the M25, never mind letting them get that without losing a wicket.

England have won the first Test in ONE of their last 13 tours.

Against Bangladesh.

Dello wrote:
I can and I have.

The UAE debacle was worse - because of the hope. That's always the kicker.

Today there was no hope. Just one side resigned to their fate to lose the first Test of every tour against anyone of any degree of able-bodiedness.

Hope is a mythological luxe peddled to the bourgeois.

I deal in logic. Some faux-subcontinental gangf*ck against a mediocre side which contained a wizard-like chucker who cheats with unabashed impunity, on pitches so foreign to them that the drinking ban paled in comparison can IN NO WAY be worse than getting bundled out on a benign pitch, later displayed against our complacent pop-gun bowlers who basically got flayed to the point of giddy cluelessness against - let's face it - drunken yeomen.

I'm a seriously starting to question your judgement in matters of cricket. Fancy a job at the ECB?

Broad is an absolute passenger these days. I'd like to see his batting and bowling stats since the end of 2011. I heard on the radio today that in his last 10 tests he averages something like 13 with the bat, and I'd guess he's averaging around 50 with the ball over the same period.

I mean, what was his shot today? What the f*ck was it? They put a deep mid wicket out there, and the VERY NEXT BALL, he slogs it down his throat. Complete idiot. Shouldn't be anywhere near the captaincy.

Henry wrote:Broad is an absolute passenger these days. I'd like to see his batting and bowling stats since the end of 2011. I heard on the radio today that in his last 10 tests he averages something like 13 with the bat, and I'd guess he's averaging around 50 with the ball over the same period.

I mean, what was his shot today? What the f*ck was it? They put a deep mid wicket out there, and the VERY NEXT BALL, he slogs it down his throat. Complete idiot. Shouldn't be anywhere near the captaincy.

16.88/32,06

Henry wrote:Broad is an absolute passenger these days. I'd like to see his batting and bowling stats since the end of 2011. I heard on the radio today that in his last 10 tests he averages something like 13 with the bat, and I'd guess he's averaging around 50 with the ball over the same period.

I mean, what was his shot today? What the f*ck was it? They put a deep mid wicket out there, and the VERY NEXT BALL, he slogs it down his throat. Complete idiot. Shouldn't be anywhere near the captaincy.

Shouldn't be anywhere near the team, probably.

But at least he bowled with a modicum of control, even if dobby. The others sprayed it like they were still doing the Ashes 10/11 sprinkler impression. Abject.

Henry wrote:Broad is an absolute passenger these days. I'd like to see his batting and bowling stats since the end of 2011. I heard on the radio today that in his last 10 tests he averages something like 13 with the bat, and I'd guess he's averaging around 50 with the ball over the same period.

I mean, what was his shot today? What the f*ck was it? They put a deep mid wicket out there, and the VERY NEXT BALL, he slogs it down his throat. Complete idiot. Shouldn't be anywhere near the captaincy.

http://stats.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/player/10617.html?class=1;spanmax1=31+Dec+2013;spanmin1=01+Jan+2012;spanval1=span;template=results;type=allround

Not a great day for English cricket.

Just put £20 on England. How stupid am I?