New Zealand v England, 3rd Test, Auckland, 22-26 March, 2013

Brass Monkey wrote:Oh, no... no - Fulton's wrecking it now.

Great, that means we'll get to see him in all his glory over here

Sometimes he looks sketchy, sometimes he doesn't. But, as Athers said - that finishes a pretty ordinary half hour from England.

Basil wrote:

lardbucket wrote:Ramdin is not too shabby as a pure keeper, either.

Prior has them all covered as a keeper-batsman.

ABdV is the best batsman who wears keeping gloves.

Wade is the worst keeper and barely makes the side as a batsman. Needs a rest.

So where's Tim Paine then?

Seems he's regressed since his broken finger.

Fulton isn't unlike Graeme Smith in the way he shovels everything onto the leg side. He's played some cracking on drives this morning.

No movement for England. Again. When NZ got it hooping around corners yesterday morning. Poor.

Henry wrote:

Basil wrote:

lardbucket wrote:Ramdin is not too shabby as a pure keeper, either.

Prior has them all covered as a keeper-batsman.

ABdV is the best batsman who wears keeping gloves.

Wade is the worst keeper and barely makes the side as a batsman. Needs a rest.

So where's Tim Paine then?

Seems he's regressed since his broken finger.

Still keeping very well, but his batting hasn't kicked on as I hoped a few years back.

The band's compilation of Bond themes the main source of entertainment so far...

Henry wrote:Fulton isn't unlike Graeme Smith in the way he shovels everything onto the leg side. He's played some cracking on drives this morning.

No movement for England. Again. When NZ got it hooping around corners yesterday morning. Poor.

This team looks shot in the field. The fielders shoulders have dropped a foot. The bowlers are doddering in like they're about to be put out to pasture. Catches are being shelled, there's no energy, and they look ready to go home. Like eleven Steve Harmisons. This has the feel of a 100 all out England performance, followed by a succession of excuses. Only Alastair Cook could possibly change that batting-wise.

Broad yelling at everybody, and trundling in at 128kph with no swing or seam AT ALL. Good, good times Stuart. Good times indeed.

Finn pins Brownlie nicely then follows it up with wide buffet filth.

Henry wrote:Broad yelling at everybody, and trundling in at 128kph with no swing or seam AT ALL. Good, good times Stuart. Good times indeed.

we should be thankful that Broad and Awde don't play for the same team

Top catch from Bell.

The Knicker twins are impeccable fielders, however.

Bell catches a good 'un to just keep us in it.

Now watch as we serve it up on a plate to McCullum.

Henry wrote:
No movement for England. Again. When NZ got it hooping around corners yesterday morning. Poor.

It's been established that it's Ian Bell's fault. He's taken over ball-shining duties from Cook (because now he's captain, it's beneath him), and now it no longer swings.

Obviously getting too much shit on the ball when he rubs it on his trousers.

50 to 2MP

Prior to the cover fielder- "Go wherever you want because he doesn't have a shot on the off side."

2 Metre Peter then plunders 14 runs off the over. Even our sledging isn't working.

Well, this is all very nostalgic, isn't it? Favourite awful Kiwi opening batsman pulverising us since, I don't know, Matt Horne at Lords in '99?

FFS, Fulton is batting like Viv Richards now.

Henry wrote:FFS, Fulton is batting like Viv Richards now.

Bad day for black people etc.

Dello wrote:

Henry wrote:FFS, Fulton is batting like Viv Richards now.

Bad day for black people etc.

But a good day for Black Caps people.

It's a round up. We've totally been put out of the contest. They can piss about with us as much as they want, declare when they want, then have a go at us. Two results.

It's gonna take some effort by the Poms to win it from here.

We're f*cked aren't we.

Considering they're rinsing out the sixes for fun, I'd say that we are.

We're done here. The most embarrassing day to be an England fan since the last one.

Time for bed. Only question now is whether we lose today or tomorrow.