England v India, 1st Test, Trent Bridge, 9-13 July, 2014

bizarre debate...esp from the Monkeh....Stokes should be among the first five selected

So, has Stokes fully recovered the use of his wanking hand?

skully wrote:So, has Stokes fully recovered the use of his wanking hand?

silly SGDT....Stokes is an all rounder and hence has no difficulty with the matters you have raised

...99...100...change hands?

Both Stokes and Woakes are in so peforming one way or another obviuosly no problem.

Duncan Fletcher, the India coach, has said that his players were "overconfident" on the tours to South Africa and New Zealand and ended up complicating their games, something he wants them to learn from and avoid in England.

Not unexpected, especially due to their exceptional successes enjoyed away from home in tests...

This is such a confusing series....on the one hand I usually barrack against both teams, but here I feel neutral...I like the Bannies record of not winning a series outside the subi and of course we all enjoy seeing the Pomgolians continue their plummet to the nadir of cricket.....a humiliating drawn series for both sides and where Instant Khama is mots will do me

If that does happen, Horrie, I will go full voodoo and ask for Mitchell Johnson's arms to be chopped off. May still be better than Twatto's bowling...

That, or he may even become a good bowler, and if that happens, a flying pig will be my new vehicle.

tricycle wrote:If that does happen, Horrie, I will go full voodoo and ask for Mitchell Johnson's arms to be chopped off. May still be better than Twatto's bowling...

That, or he may even become a good bowler, and if that happens, a flying pig will be my new vehicle.

....way too harsh ...and Tricky you are frightening....that said Mitch has had his last period of golden arm...the tin arm period is now due

Carn the Poms.

































I feel dirty.

so should Mr S

CARN THE DRAW

Banindia

so Embee does this mean you are barracking for the pomgolian empah?

Gosh, I can sense the feverous atmos... we're all looking forward to this, aren't we?

Stepping aside from being sarcastic, I haven't looked forward to a series less than this, I don't think. Even the guaranteed Aussie gangbangs of the late 90's early 00's didn't seem this bleak.

Brass Monkey wrote:Gosh, I can sense the feverous atmos... we're all looking forward to this, aren't we?

Stepping aside from being sarcastic, I haven't looked forward to a series less than this, I don't think. Even the guaranteed Aussie gangbangs of the late 90's early 00's didn't seem this bleak.

Because of the most remote possibility of defeat or because of having to endure f**king Indians everywhere for a couple of months?

More about having to endure that shithead Alastair Cook: his thick-as-shit captaincy, his pussyish interviews, his air of entitlement and his exceptionally amateurish batting.

If I see him looking befuddled at the fact he's chopped onto his stumps playing some weak cross-batted shot to a straight ball, my head will explode. He should be nodding in recognition that the shot he played was shit, for the 45th time in a row!!!!

That's the thing with him regarding his interviews, entitlement, captaincy and batting - same shit, different Test match. I'd hate to be that qunt's wife - 'bangers and mash for dinner my love? Goodo. Maybe we can have some gentle missionary position sex later? Jolly nice.'.

Wanker

I think you might be letting your imagination run away with you a bit now, though.


On the cricket side: All Cook needs to do now is work on that "combing back of the spread hand through the hair" routine Mick perfected as he got out cheaply for the umpteenth time (to a mysteriously unplayable average delivery), near the end of his career.

PeterCS wrote:On the cricket side: All Cook needs to do now is work on that "combing back of the spread hand through the hair" routine Mick perfected as he got out cheaply for the umpteenth time (to a mysteriously unplayable average delivery), near the end of his career.

I don't think he's got the cognitive faculties for that. He'll have to ask a computer what the best way is to ruffle his own hair. Then he'll do it over and over until he's bald.

Brass Monkey wrote:More about having to endure that shithead Alastair Cook: his thick-as-shit captaincy, his pussyish interviews, his air of entitlement and his exceptionally amateurish batting.

If I see him looking befuddled at the fact he's chopped onto his stumps playing some weak cross-batted shot to a straight ball, my head will explode. He should be nodding in recognition that the shot he played was shit, for the 45th time in a row!!!!

That's the thing with him regarding his interviews, entitlement, captaincy and batting - same shit, different Test match. I'd hate to be that qunt's wife - 'bangers and mash for dinner my love? Goodo. Maybe we can have some gentle missionary position sex later? Jolly nice.'.

Wanker

Maybe he will slag off KP to liven things up.

taipan wrote:
Maybe he will slag off KP to liven things up.

He'll have to ask a computer first, to see what words to use to describe Pietersen. Then he'll use them over and over again until even the press get bored.

"bad egg". "bad egg". "bad egg". "bad egg". malfunction. "begad". burp.

Brass Monkey wrote:

taipan wrote:
Maybe he will slag off KP to liven things up.

He'll have to ask a computer first, to see what words to use to describe Pietersen. Then he'll use them over and over again until even the press get bored.

Can use the generic term for KP

Brass Monkey wrote:
I don't think he's got the cognitive faculties for that. He'll have to ask a computer what the best way is to ruffle his own hair. Then he'll do it over and over until he's bald.

Which is exactly what happened to Vaughan.

Anyway, Prior's got a "tight" thigh, so Buttler's been called in as cover.

Given that Stokes is probably going to play and bat seven, and the keeper no higher than eight, I don't see why they wouldn't give Buttler a shot anyway. How bad can it turn out?

It's not like he's going to get bounced out twice by Sri Lankan trundlers.

Dello wrote:
Which is exactly what happened to Vaughan.

Vaughan was the sort of captain that would instinctively ruffle his hair, no need for number-crunching. Straight up gut-feeling rubs from forehead to crown. Admirable, it was. Plus he was a strong enough character to ignore Shane Warne's advice of changing the ruffle to a diagonal pat.

Halcyon pre-computer days...