England v India, 1st Test, Trent Bridge, 9-13 July, 2014

I think Vaughan's so called batting demise during his captaincy was actually because he'd much prefer to be in the dressing room engaging in 'bants' with the 'lads' like the objectionable c*** that he is.

Fact

Or he was busy engaging in pants with the lads, if the lads names were Ian Bell or Ashley Giles.

Well, Cook can count himself lucky tonight... in that he's not Big Phil Scolari, Fred or David Luiz.

"The Brazilian football team have set the worldwide standard for sporting excellence, and the lads and myself are out to pull together as a team and emulate them as well as we possibly can in our series against India."

There's only two winners in this series - India and boredom. Both could be on the cards.

England v the Ennuit nation.

Lucky boundary to start off...

Wonder how long Dhawan will last here.

Get through about 5 more overs and India should score big. England have opted for two half bowlers, along with their other three three-quarter bowlers.

Anderson is travelling.

It's actually four half bowlers and a three-quarter bowler. Good times.

Anderson closing in on Broad's average.

Henry Nolonga wrote:Wonder how long Dhawan will last here.

7 overs.... 5 better than I expected.

But instead of just batsmen, now we're letting out of form keepers into some decent form too.

tricycle wrote:

Henry Nolonga wrote:Wonder how long Dhawan will last here.

7 overs.... 5 better than I expected.

But instead of just batsmen, now we're letting out of form keepers into some decent form too.

We can do anything. Next up will be making Cook look like a good captain.

Ben Stokes before Liam Plunkett? Shit, Cook f*cking loathes Plunkett, doesn't he?

Brass Monkey wrote:Ben Stokes before Liam Plunkett? Shit, Cook f*cking loathes Plunkett, doesn't he?

Must be a sound tactical reason for that.

It's ingenious - basically let everyone else have their fanny fun with the new ball, then let Plunkett - our most threatening bowler - bend his back, bouncing set batsmen with an old ball, on a dead pitch.

Is this Trent Bridge?

It's a stroll in the park, is what it is.

Shit form or otherwise, this is a situation where Monty could be used. At least he can spin the ball...

No real use in fielding a spinner against a side who can play spin well. Not that they're having trouble playing the seamers - as I say - pop-gun: stroll in the park.

What an absolute stinking dogsh!t of a pitch. Absolutely dead.

Hello, 5 days of boredraw...

Brass Monkey wrote:No real use in fielding a spinner against a side who can play spin well. Not that they're having trouble playing the seamers - as I say - pop-gun: stroll in the park.

Well, they're good. But given what happened last time in India, they're not impregnable against good spinners.

Neil D wrote:What an absolute stinking dogsh!t of a pitch.  Absolutely dead.

Hello, 5 days of boredraw...

Yeah, it's a f*cking disgrace - as I said at another time, though - what club is going to pay through the nose for hosting a Test and then make a sporting pitch that could only last three days? I'm not saying that's the right way to be thinking, but how else are they going to survive all the modification costs to their grounds?

Bidding for a Test is a bullshit way of doing it.

tricycle wrote:
Well, they're good. But given what happened last time in India, they're not impregnable against good spinners.

Different side now. IMO, the best batting line-up out there ATM.

Draw?  Watch India's pedigree strike bowling attack traumatize everything in sight. 

Ishant 'Malcolm' Sharma,

Bhuvneshwar 'Wake me up when it's seaming guvnor' Kumar,

Mohammed 'Umesh Yadav was unavailable' Shami.

And last, and the very least,

Sturat 'All Sturats look alike in the dark' Binny.