Darwin Awards

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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by Jontyh on Thu 01 Oct 2009, 10:11

We have a bloke at work who goes to Weightwatchers. On the occasion of one of his weigh-ins he'd had a bad week on the lard.
"I was dreading it," he said. "So I took my shoes off, 'cos they weigh a bit. I even took off my tie," he confided. "And put it in my pocket."
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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by Jontyh on Thu 01 Oct 2009, 14:10

One of our clients, who works for a massive bank, saw that on his hotel confirmation it had 'free wifi' so he took his Missus. When he got back he called to complain that they had to sleep in a single bed.
Another, from the same bank, called to complain that he wasn't receiving any confirmations. It turns out that when he filled the email bit of his profile form it said "e.g. joe.bloggs@b******s.com", so he put joe.bloggs@etc..
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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by Bradman on Thu 01 Oct 2009, 14:17

One of my staff who was already on a suspended drivers licence once borrowed a mate's car and pulling out of the driveway lightly tapped a power pole. No damage to the car, no damage to the power pole.

So despite trying to drink the pub dry the night before he drove, yes drove, the car to the cop shop to report the incident.
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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by mynah on Fri 16 Oct 2009, 14:52

Of course, the field of aviation in the Third World opens a whole new chapter...

Plane hair-raising stories...
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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by Bradman on Fri 16 Oct 2009, 20:19

I once had to pick up an old Aboriginal man at his out station in the middle of Kakadu National Park and drive him to the nearest airstrip for a flight to a vitally important meeting.

When we got there the pilot was farking around with the engine.

"What's he doing youngfella"

"Just some pre flight checks I spose"

"What's he got in his hand?"

'It's a Swiss Army knife"

"What's that"

"A knife with other stuff on it. Screwdriver, scissors, a cork screw. Stuff like that."

With that he picked up his swag and started walking back towards the Troopie.

"Where are you going?"

"Home. I'm not flying in anything that's just been repaired with a corkscrew"

Which was a pretty fair call in hindsight.
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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by Jontyh on Fri 16 Oct 2009, 20:40

Very good, Bradders. Very Happy
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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by mynah on Tue 27 Oct 2009, 19:45

Be scared. Be very scared...

What next - emerging pilots?
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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by DJ_Smerk on Thu 29 Oct 2009, 04:31

Aeroplane was a darn good film.
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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by G.Wood on Thu 29 Oct 2009, 04:32

Are you Aggassied as well as ethanolled?
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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by DJ_Smerk on Thu 29 Oct 2009, 04:33

I can't be arsed TB'ing now. Never mind.
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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by mynah on Tue 03 Nov 2009, 07:08

mynah wrote:
Be scared. Be very scared...

What next - emerging pilots?
Well, what did I say?

And I didn't even mean it that literally... Laughing
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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by Bradman on Tue 03 Nov 2009, 08:47

I once audited an Australian program to build a new correctional facility in one of our pacific neighbours. They came in under budget by using the inmates to build it. The 'crat' on the spot couldn't see the problem.

Fox, henhouse anyone.
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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by mynah on Sat 07 Nov 2009, 20:37

They really do make them bright in the Eastern Cape!

One has to wonder if it takes a special talent to do something that stupid... bounce
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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by lardbucket on Sat 07 Nov 2009, 21:03

Mr and Mrs Molotov were described by their family as 'the perfect match'. They are recovering at a local private hospital, according to a snickering police spokesman.

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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by mynah on Sun 08 Nov 2009, 02:57

From her hospital bed, Mrs Molotov said, "He was an old flame of mine. When I met him again, he told me, 'Come on baby, light my fire!' And that is when things got really hot..."
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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by mynah on Mon 09 Nov 2009, 06:09

And then there was this one...

I know I shouldn't be laughing, but... bounce bounce bounce
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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by Bradman on Mon 09 Nov 2009, 06:15

Cops all over the world thank some deity every day that criminals are basically stupid. Seriously though if you were a recipient of a sperm donor you wouldn't want blokes like these on the scorecard.
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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by mynah on Mon 09 Nov 2009, 07:03

Wish more of them would eliminate themselves from the chance of getting a home run...
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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by Bradman on Mon 09 Nov 2009, 07:19

Yeah should be a common sense test, if only to make it easier for the poor dumb bints who think it's a good idea to procreate that way.
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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by mynah on Mon 09 Nov 2009, 10:53

I suppose the common habit of our local house robbers of taking gran, mum and the daughters (including babies) aside for a little procreational fun during their stealing spree does contribute somewhat to the hilarity of this story.
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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by Bradman on Mon 09 Nov 2009, 11:48

Sorry I must be on the wrong thread (I think).
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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by mynah on Tue 14 Dec 2010, 22:06

A bit late in the year, but this guy must be a shoo-in for 2010. affraid
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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by PeterCS on Tue 14 Dec 2010, 22:33

Could FB be the next winner?
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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by mynah on Wed 15 Dec 2010, 06:54

Not in the same way, I should hope. Death by banana peeling seems to be an Eastern Cape speciality. (And even there, it usually isn't DIY.)
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Re: Darwin Awards

Post by Mick Sawyer on Wed 15 Dec 2010, 06:59

mynah wrote:Not in the same way, I should hope. Death by banana peeling seems to be an Eastern Cape speciality. (And even there, it usually isn't DIY.)

AIDs in SA on the decrease did I read recently?
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Re: Darwin Awards

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