Dave the Grave told to reapply for his own job

Says.

Hope someone good gets it instead e.g. Greg Chappell.

I reckon the bloke it'll go to is Davey Gravey.

Greg farking Chappell?

Angus Fraser anyone?

Does Dave get to decide who gets his job as well?

I can see the headlines already:

The Chairman of the Chairman of Selectors Selection Panel David Graveney today explained the decision to retain the present Chairman of Selectors David Graveney. "The panel were unanimous in their agreement" Graveney, the Chairman of Chairman Selectors declared, for some reason reffering to himself in the third person. "We went through a thorough selection process and believe me i've been asking myself some fairly stern questions all week" Graveney announced. The new Chairman of Selectors David Graveney declared himself to be 'delighted' at the appointment.

Until this happens we can specualte as to what will happen. It should have all the excitement of a Dunny-on-the-Wold by-election...

Gary 111 wrote:"We went through a thorough selection process and believe me i've been asking myself some fairly stern questions all week" Graveney announced.

I just guffawed rather loudly and i'm now getting funny looks.

i'm now getting funny looks.

I bet that's not unusual......

Great post though Gaz the Mullet.

eowyn wrote:

i'm now getting funny looks.

I bet that's not unusual......

One can only hope for the best.

Well, if Ashley Giles can get an England coaching gig with no coaching background what-so-ever, I imagine the chairman of selectors job will go to one of the MBE-ers too - a reward for their one, brief, moment in the sun.

Geraint Jones? He's not doing much these days. Simon Jones is basically retired. Outside shot? Thorpie... oh, no, he didn't play in the Ashes, he was dropped one Test before, so the many years he spent being England's best batsman were worth squat in the eyes of the MBE hander-outers in comparison to Paul Collingwood's gritty 17 runs.

Maybe one of the backroom staff. Chrissy "thick slice" Tongue, who makes the sandwiches. Nigel "fingers" McGoo, who types random words of encouragement like "strength" and "stop bowling wides you div" on his laptop and e:mails them to all the players throughout the series, giving them a much needed confidence wellie right up the esteem gland.

Duncan Fletcher, undercover investigative journalist?

It'll be Graveney. Or someone no-one has heard of. With terrible teeth. And a lisp.

And lest us not forget that Dave Grave was rewarded for his sterling work after the Ashes and is David Graveney OBE.

Almost as bad as 'Sir' Dave Richards.

Orange Bloke Enema?

As Geraint Jones was co-opted to the sellection panel during the Ashes and wasn't afraid to pick himself- might not be as far out as you think.

Anyway I think we, the flaming bails forum, should get the job.

I'd love to see an England team with Ramps, Scotty Newman and half a dozen dreadful Northants players in it.

FB England XI:

Keysie
Newman
Ramprakash
Pietersen
Shah
Sales
Read/Ambrose/Davies/Mustard/Sutton/Foster/the mummified corpse of Alec Stewart +
Swanny
Some bowlers who flit in and out of fashion by the session.

Sweet.

I hear LLL wants Lampard to open the bowling. From both ends.

No, he just wants Lampard - from both ends.

So where is the application form? I'd consider applying for Gravy's job (provided the money was right if you understand).

Do you possess an orange face and speak like an idiot.

Two major requirements if yer going to fill Dave's shoes.

As you can see my face is grey and I talk nothing but sense.

THICKEDGE wrote:As you can see my face is grey and I talk nothing but sense.

No chance then TE ... nada, nix, zippo.
You have got to be an Orangina lookalike to succeed the rave that is Grave ..

THICKEDGE wrote:As you can see my face is grey and I talk nothing but sense.

Yep, I'd love you as a selector. Keep picking 19 year olds and talking of 'the future' whilst losing most series bar Bangladesh and WI.

THICKEDGE wrote:As you can see my face is grey and I talk nothing but sense.

You've also been dead for more than 40 years. I could be wrong, but I'm guessing that being alive is in the person specification.

Dello wrote:Thorpie... oh, no, he didn't play in the Ashes, he was dropped one Test before, so the many years he spent being England's best batsman were worth squat in the eyes of the MBE hander-outers in comparison to Paul Collingwood's gritty 17 runs.

perfect.