England v India, 2nd Test, Trent Bridge, 29 Jul-2 Aug, 2011

I said dung and TGM had good series with the bat ...which couldnt be said about some of our batsmen in that series

embee wrote:We batted out time ...and the way our tail batted in that series they probably would have got us to within ten runs before finding a comical way to get out

The Poms went beyond frottage after Cardiff 09

Aye, I know! But I don't mind admitting that the team be full of mealy-mouthed f*cksuckers!

Aye, twas a good tail. Like Swanny, if Fat Julio or Ping bothered to apply themselves, they could've averaged more.

Brass Monkey wrote:Aye, twas a good tail. Like Swanny, if Fat Julio or Ping bothered to apply themselves, they could've averaged more.

Was talking the Aussie tail.

taipan wrote:
Was talking the Aussie tail.

Have you ever read the glossary?

Henry wrote:Ooh. Forecast for tomorrow is shite. Finish this off today, please.

Sunny.

I suppose that's shite if you're ginger and freckly.

Broads average down to 33 whereas during the SL series it was in danger of pushing 38

india - bringing bowling averages down since 1932

The real "what if ..." about these past two Tests is if you imagine the same results in a subcontinental dustbowl?

I doubt it. Even Harby might have roused himself out of Punchable Hasbeen status with the ball.

True, Swann would no doubt have gained more purchase too. But then, most of the Indian top order are used to spin in India.

On the other hand, if they had taken the Twirling Wizard of Kent along as well ....


All "what if", of course. ~ As things stand, England seem likely to assume #1 spot for a while, albeit partly by Indian default.

Dello wrote:

Henry wrote:Ooh. Forecast for tomorrow is shite. Finish this off today, please.

Sunny.

I suppose that's shite if you're ginger and freckly.

Gavaskar is more Grey Panther, isn't he?

What if.. if if if if if....

What if the Test had been played in a phonebox? What if they were batting on sponge? What if their bowlers weren't tossers and tried to kind their way to wickets? What if there was a lesbian f*ckfest on the boundary, how many Ian Bells would have got run out at once? What if they were served crab saveloys for lunch and three of them had shellfish allergy? What if they'd turned to drugs and made themselves unavailable for the Test? What if they were hermaphrodites and 'grey area'd for Test selection?

All f*cking poignant and pertinent bits to mull over whilst we deal with the f*cking facts - the goodies won and won by thrashings

TBF, India have had no luck with the toss.

Thrashings in the end.

But even Adelaide 2006-07 was close for three days.



"What if" is part of the very wit and spirit of cricket, I will have you know, Mr Brarse.
It's not just wham bam thank you Hammam, like the jolly old soccer or AFL. It's cool, it's strategic, it's the broad view, it's philosophical.

Like Shakespeare without the dumbshows.

I've done this to death though. S'all well and good with the 'what ifs' - I'll give YOU a 'realistic' what if - WHAT IF England rocked up in India 2008, not in disarray, fully prepared and had green and bouncy pitches to contend with? WHAT IF PIERRE? WHAT IF? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Indeed.

INDEED. AND WHAT IF RICK PYRAH TURNED OUT TO BE THE NEW BOTHAM??

Never heard of 'RICK PYRAH'.

Alls I know is that you just got hoisted by your own pet(e)ard.

Oh yeah. Ho'right!

Peanut butter jell-eh! Peanut butter jell-eh! Peanut butter jell-eh! Peanut butter jell-eh! Peanut butter jell-eh!

Look, I'm just saying WHAT IF the 2001 Australians had played the 1901 English on a bunch of stickies, maybe a couple of matting Tests too? Huh? What if huh? THEN they wouldn't have been going around FIGJAMming themselves like a collective of onanistic weasels.

Are you sure?

I don't know but my answer came out at 9.6462 on the Whatifometer.

What about on the Whatafoofoometer?

I just checked. The goddamn scoreboard hasn't changed and Bell still scored a 150 odd.

Brass Monkey wrote:What if.. if if if if if....

What if ... there was a lesbian f*ckfest on the boundary

the follow-on would be enforced

India still would have copped a licking . .pack of ******

tac wrote:India still would have copped a licking . .pack of ******

Would be ironic if that expletive is pu55ies