England v India, 3rd ODI, The Oval, 9 Sep, 2011

Just to get a thread up like.

England win toss and England will field. Expect short sh!t in about 21 minutes from now.

FatSam out - Trottsky in.

Snail replaces snail. Jubbly. Knew it was on, but had no faith in the British 'summer'. Didn't even check, just assumed it would be sh!tting it down, wherever it was being held. Aye, there'll be a barrage of tonkable half-trackers coming India's way in T - 13 minutes......

What're India going to 'find out' about RPork Singh that they don't already know? Give Varun Aaron a go FFS!

I know, ridiculous.

Similarly, FFS give Stokes a knock you qunts.

I love that all the media have bought into the mantra Stokes MUST be kept for the donkey-overs at the end. Like it's IMPERATIVE he doesn't get in before then and allow himself the chance of finding his range before the 'big bang'. Like he does in CC. I suppose they know best though, their tactics in the last two WCs have been spot on. Haven't bowed out early with ignominious naivety or anything like that, have we........

FFS when does this tour end

Can't wait for 'em to tour here...always a fun time.

Bhajji is warming up his verbals.

dot.monkey.dot.

Haha Ra ha ne!

The Jameser strikes toot sweet..

Invader Zim wrote:FFS when does this tour end

Can't wait for 'em to tour here...always a fun time.

Soon. Hopefully. Sick of the sight of them. Plus, one always feels nervous when there's royalty around. I haven't picked my nose in months.

Aye I hate having to hold my f@rts in for a whole summer.

Huh. 2/9. Suck sh!t ya Indian qunts.

"Tiny" Patel goes too.

(As opposed to "Fat" Patel or "Munaf" Patel)

He's pudgey himself. Anyway, Jimbo ripping through them, like the September man. 40/4

India shyte regardless of the format.

A few shots and England pull all the slips out. FFS.

Anyway, same sh!t different day. Pitch it up, make the batsmen work. Bowl short = get smacked.

Red wrote:India shyte regardless of the format.

They're missing the players that won them the WC, though. But was probably one of the least dominant sides to win the WC anyway.

JKLever wrote:A few shots and England pull all the slips out. FFS.

Anyway, same sh!t different day. Pitch it up, make the batsmen work. Bowl short = get smacked.

Aye, Cook channels Strauss impeccably. It's like he's shrunk four inches, balded up and says he studied at Radley.

Broad snares headshaker. 60/5 after 20. At this rate, it'll be done by the time I get in from the pub this evening.

Lowest total by the Bannies in an Oval ODI - 162-8 in 1982. Lowest total overall 103 by us v. the Saffies in WC defeat in 1999 (which cost Alec Stewart the England captaincy).

Top partnership to steady the uhhh ship.

What the hell is an uhhh ship?

9 runs off record 6th wicket partnership by India v. England made by Yuvraj and Kaif at Lord's in 2002.

Ravichandran Ashwin is making mincemeat out of Jade Dernbach, who simply cannot keep his economy under 6s.

Highest 7th wicket partnership by India at The Oval beating Vishwanath & Mankad's 45 in 1974.

You know your batting line up is rubbish when Jadeja is the highest scorer.

Very, very poor effort. Now, I'm certain some will come on and deride me for moaning, but the fact they were four down for 25 runs after nearing 10 overs and only lose three more for 210 in 40 is a pretty shambolic effort. Which of England bowlers are hittable? All of them. Still, it'll give us something to chase. Of course, it's the sort of score we can crab at. But it will be intriguing to see if we can chase it down.