England v India, 3rd ODI, The Oval, 9 Sep, 2011

Brass Monkey wrote:Very, very poor effort. Now, I'm certain some will come on and deride me for moaning, but the fact they were four down for 25 runs after nearing 10 overs and only lose three more for 210 in 40 is a pretty shambolic effort. Which of England bowlers are hittable? All of them. Still, it'll give us something to chase. Of course, it's the sort of score we can crab at. But it will be intriguing to see if we can chase it down.

I agree with you, unless the pitch really did flatten out and conditions eased to that extent. In which case England will piss it.

Every ODI i've watched recently when we have the opposition on the ropes, out go the slips.... here boys take an easy single why don't you. 235 to win is the sort of score we usually make a meal of out. We may win but have to say looking at that card - not convinced by Bres at 7 following Stokes at 6 and Bopara at 5.

58-5 and Cook follows "The Andrew Strauss guide to sensible captaincy for sensible people" (HarperCollins, © 1882) to the letter and England abandon attacking and settle in for the boring middle overs and just keeping the rate down below four for an hour and half.

Absolute mince.

The wicket's got some juice early doors, India are teetering on the brink - bowl your f*cking seamers out, you bobble headed dipsh!t. Who cares if the final ten overs have to be bowled by Swann and Bopara? Won't matter if there's no batsmen left.

Talk about giving up the initiative, wrapped up in a nice bow, with a side order of body glitter and lube.

Dernbach's just another Jims Anderson - stock ball is hit-me-pappa central. Load of old shaft, the pair of them.

In fairness, it takes some skill for England to have manoeuvred themselves into a losing position from having India 58-5, so for that I give them credit.

Mince.

Hmmm all we need is for it to p!ss it down until 10pm and we've won.

But looks like the rain has gone - so Stokes & Bell with Bopara, Tremlett and not a lot else to follow. Looks like the Fat Bangladesh may finally win a game.

Oh er, consecutive fours from the Belf. Fat Bangladesh struggling.

Sixer, from Stokes.

F**king belf.

Dearie me Belf, laxa-effing-diasical that.

Lets see if 19 from 35 balls from Bopara can inch us towards the winning line.

All in the hands of Chavi Flops now... where's your money?

Athers woofed him big time.

Notts boys did it, never in doubt!

In football terms though we were 3-0 up inside 15 minutes then had to win it in extra time. We really need to develop that ruthless streak in this form of the game, we rarely make it easy for ourselves!

Gary 111 wrote:Dearie me Belf, laxa-effing-diasical that.

Lets see if 19 from 35 balls from Bopara can inch us towards the winning line.

40 off 41. Well done Bops.

Shows how demoralised this Indian team is though. Even without Morgan or KP and with half our batsmen throwing their wicket away they couldn't manage a win.

True they're missing a few players too. But are they ever going to win a game again?

England unbeaten in 11 games (5 Tests, 4 ODI's and 2 T20's) against India, stretching back to the First Test in Chennai way back in Dec 2008.

That's almost 3 years (997 days) since India have beaten England in a game of cricket.

Its so long ago that the pea hearted sook Harmison was still opening the bowling for England the last time you beat us.

You know you've woofed the 1000 day unbeaten streak now don't you?

Gary 111 wrote:

Gary 111 wrote:Dearie me Belf, laxa-effing-diasical that.

Lets see if 19 from 35 balls from Bopara can inch us towards the winning line.

40 off 41. Well done Bops.

Shows how demoralised this Indian team is though. Even without Morgan or KP and with half our batsmen throwing their wicket away they couldn't manage a win.

True they're missing a few players too. But are they ever going to win a game again?

Should win the next one now they've wised up to England's perennial ODI Achilles heel (one of them, anyway) - you bowl spin at them and they fall to pieces like a leper colony in a hurricane.

Dhoni missed a trick in not bowling out Raina. Munaf Patel and RP Singh were money for old rope. That's where they lost the game.

MS could've even taken his pads off and had a go at off-breaks himself. Wouldn't have mattered if he'd never bowled one before, England would've still contrived to gift him at least one wicket and a run out chance.

Back to back winters on the subcontinent for England, you say? Oh joy.

vilkrang wrote:You know you've woofed the 1000 day unbeaten streak now don't you?

Although... its 999 days between when India last beat us and the next game, but -

that would have finished at around 5pm Indian time (approx 11am English time) plus the match tomorrow won't be over until 4pm at the earliest. So you could piece together the 1000th day from those two half days and claim a moral 1000 day run?

We'll take a win anyway we can. Because we'll not be winning much in the return ODI's in India.

Weird game, just so tentative. At 58-5 you should be all out attacking the opposition, it's like we were happy to limit them to below 240.

I'm going to pick a 'Best England XI' from players who contributed to that 11 game unbeaten run:

Hales
Wright
Shah
Bopara
Collingwood*
Buttler
Yardy
Foster+
Mascarenhas
Shahzad
Dernbach

12th Man: Samit Patel

Hang your head in shame India.

Dello wrote:
Dernbach's just another Jims Anderson - stock ball is hit-me-pappa central. Load of old shaft, the pair of them.

List A record - is leaking over 6 rpo, or was last I checked. Can't see any reason why international cricket would be any different.

Gary 111 wrote:I'm going to pick a 'Best England XI' from players who contributed to that 11 game unbeaten run:

Hales
Wright
Shah
Bopara
Collingwood*
Buttler
Yardy
Foster+
Mascarenhas
Shahzad
Dernbach

12th Man: Samit Patel

Hang your head in shame India.

That team might well beat them right now! Are they all available for the next game?

JKLever wrote:

Dello wrote:
Dernbach's just another Jims Anderson - stock ball is hit-me-pappa central. Load of old shaft, the pair of them.

List A record - is leaking over 6 rpo, or was last I checked. Can't see any reason why international cricket would be any different.

He hints at being half decent. He's sharp when wants to be. Gets some jag off the seam on occasion. Reasonable yorker.

I guess England will take him into the family for a while, see if Saker can polish him up into something shiny and bright.

Not sure it'll happen for him, though. Just something missing...

beamer wrote:

Gary 111 wrote:I'm going to pick a 'Best England XI' from players who contributed to that 11 game unbeaten run:

Hales
Wright
Shah
Bopara
Collingwood*
Buttler
Yardy
Foster+
Mascarenhas
Shahzad
Dernbach

12th Man: Samit Patel

Hang your head in shame India.

That team might well beat them right now! Are they all available for the next game?

No, they're holding back the "Dream Team" until the West Indies reluctantly drag themselves and their winter wardrobe over for the most pointless T20s ever at the end of the whenever it is. Halloween?

Dello wrote:

JKLever wrote:

Dello wrote:
Dernbach's just another Jims Anderson - stock ball is hit-me-pappa central. Load of old shaft, the pair of them.

List A record - is leaking over 6 rpo, or was last I checked. Can't see any reason why international cricket would be any different.

He hints at being half decent. He's sharp when wants to be. Gets some jag off the seam on occasion. Reasonable yorker.

I guess England will take him into the family for a while, see if Saker can polish him up into something shiny and bright.

Not sure it'll happen for him, though. Just something missing...

He's too obsessed with the slower ball for my liking. I would like to see him take the new ball be fore the series is out just to see him bowling properly.

He wouldn't bowl properly, though. Because the new ball encompasses the PP overs, he'd just go nuts with the slower ball.

It's hard for him to find a balance at the moment, as his stock delivery is just fodder, so he's bowling more and more slower balls. But then they lose their effectiveness as it all becomes a bit predictable.

I see the English continue to be fooled so far by our cunning plans.

Dumb farkers.

Thinking ahead - how about this for the ODI squad to India?

Cook
Kieswetter
Trott
Pietersen
Bell
Bopara
Stokes
Bresnan
Broad
Swann
Anderson
Dernbach
Meaker
Borthwick