England v Australia, 1st ODI, Lords, 29 June, 2012

Bresnan is an ODI twat.

Timmikins* was just getting some good 'reverse' there though, Clarke didn't know shit.

*Is a year too soon to dust off a similar nickname to the one m3l_y0n3x used to get taunted with?

England surely can't cock up now, can they?

They are trying their best to lose it but I think even this is beyond even our level of craptitude to throw it away.

So, someone may or may not have won this zero-th match in this zero match series that may or may not have started. I know it fills the coffers nicely, but a test against SA would too.

If there is nothing in the FTP, why not have a rest, or play some matches against other teams? We play Ireland once a year, the Netherlands and Scotland whenever we draw them in an ICC event. Surely we can fit a game or two in, especially against Ireland (not enough £$¥€).

It seems pointless arranging an unnecessary series against a top side and then resting players for another scheduled series.

Aye, I don't think I've ever been less excited by a series. It's not like it's even building up to a test series. Fark, even the ones tacked onto the end of the proper stuff offer the chance to either laugh in the faces of the team you have just beat or get the chance at a tiny smidgen of hollow revenge. This is pointless on every level.

Fark that..... we DESTROYED!!!! the squinty ones by 15 runs. I want to beat Australia at tiddlywinks, so i don't know what all you mincers are blubbing about.

Thought we played well, having had the worst of the conditions for most of the game.

No, it's great times. Sorry for mentioning anything. Aye, I'd rather we won, obviously - you only have to see half the Aus players to see why - at least when our qunts qunt it they're English.

But yeah, will still have my reservations for quite a while and that's fair do's. They're mainly the personnel that embarrassed us at the WC just over a year ago,

I wouldn't get too cocky yet. 15 runs is not exactly a cakewalk especially with the limited preparation Aust had.......and the fact that Smith played.

5th occasion and 1st time since April 1987 that England have defeated Australia having lost the toss and been asked to bat.

There's always that Steve Smith factor, though England have always got a special mascot or two. They had seven at the last WC

Big Dog wrote:I wouldn't get too cocky yet. 15 runs is not exactly a cakewalk especially with the limited preparation Aust had.......and the fact that Smith played.

Putting England in has to be worth a fair few runs to Australia though, the conditions and stop-start play were a missed opportunity to make major inroads.

Brass Monkey wrote:There's always that Steve Smith factor, though England have always got a special mascot or two. They had seven at the last WC

Yes, most of us were gobsmacked when Smith & Johnson were resurected. Perhaps now Invers will see the folly of it all....but i somehow doubt it.

Johnson I can understand. As far as I can recollect, he's done pretty well in ODIs recently - he's like the left-arm Bung. Steve Smith? Well, all I can say is he must bake a bloody good muffin.

Kieswetter is gash. Can't get the ball off the square. I want to see Jos Buttler at 6 if we're looking for that late-order basher who can strike at 100+. Failing that look at Stokes or Hales. And get my man Jimmy in for Bopara before it's too late.

I think the 15 run margin flattered Aus - they were fooked as soon as Clarke got out.

Still, it's good that we're up against a proper ODI side, just to see how much more we have to improve.

As usual, the decision to chase backfired. Well done England.

If you'd chosen to bat I suspect it would have been effectively over by the second rain break. As I said, it should have been a classic win the toss, win the match English one-day game, which makes the 15-run margin very flattering to Australia.

Take away Warner and Twatto and Aus lack firepower just as much as England do, imo. All the Aus talk of England being a batsman short, and they go and play Steve Smith at six. Funny.

Looks like Jimmy will be out for the rest of the series. Probably no bad thing. Get Meaker in there.

The big thing for me is that the opposition know they don't have 10 overs of dobbing part timers to milk. If we had to bowl someone like Patel for 10 overs today we'd have probably lost.

Yes, Bresnan at 7 may well get found out in this series at some stage but England simply don't have any massive hitters they can bring in.

We are reliant on the likes of Morgan coming off though, if he'd gone early we'd have got 240 max.

Brass Monkey wrote:No, it's great times. Sorry for mentioning anything. Aye, I'd rather we won, obviously - you only have to see half the Aus players to see why - at least when our qunts qunt it they're English. But yeah, will still have my reservations for quite a while and that's fair do's. They're mainly the personnel that embarrassed us at the WC just over a year ago,

Or Irish, or South African.

Couldn't agree more about Smith.

Henry wrote:Take away Warner and Twatto and Aus lack firepower just as much as England do, imo. All the Aus talk of England being a batsman short, and they go and play Steve Smith at six. Funny.

Looks like Jimmy will be out for the rest of the series. Probably no bad thing. Get Meaker in there.

Glenn Maxwell > Steve Smith

My Grandma > Steve Smith.

JKLever wrote:
We are reliant on the likes of Morgan coming off though, if he'd gone early we'd have got 240 max.

That's the thing, John, 'the likes' is actually only Morgan. Morgan fails - we fail. The top four clowns were all striking in the 70s. Over 200 of our 300 balls were faced by people prepared to go at under 4.5 runs per over. If Morgan's brilliance hadn't come off, what would we have ended up with? A non-defendable total.

Henry wrote:Take away Warner and Twatto and Aus lack firepower just as much as England do, imo. All the Aus talk of England being a batsman short, and they go and play Steve Smith at six. Funny.

Looks like Jimmy will be out for the rest of the series. Probably no bad thing. Get Meaker in there.

I think the point is that they HAVE two powerful hitters... Two muscular batsmen in a top order of 7 is fine!

Agree about Smith at 6 being lolz though.