Re: The i-Gen thread

[skully]

[skully]

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[PeterCS]

No foil, him.

[skully]

Off to Tesco for a new microwave.

[PeterCS]

Or Semteksco.

[skully]

Not sure if this is i-Gen or a blonde thing...

[skully]

[Bradman]

Hehehe. Helped a bloke from the book club with his motorbike today after he'd spent hours trying to remove a wheel but with an American screwdriver. Hell of a way to fark up a Harley.

[skully]

[Bradman]

I wouldn't have a clue about a penis emoticon either.

[Big Dog]

Words just fail me.........

[JGK]

From the Fitz Files today (BD, it's not rabid lefty stuff so you should read it):

Ray of sunshine

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THE FITZ FILES

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TFF’s esteemed Fairfax colleague at the Newcastle Herald, Damon Cronshaw, did a cracker of a story last week about a local junior soccer team, the Kotara Tigers Under 13s. See, early in the season, the coach Tony Griffiths took down the mobile numbers of the parents of all the players so he could provide instant communications on the time and place of training etc on a group text. But he got one digit wrong . . .
It meant that a bloke called Ray heard his phone go off as he read the first of a series of texts the likes of:
"Training 5 pm." "Don’t forget your boots." "Arrive in time for warm-ups."

They went for months, until Ray called Tony Griffiths and said: "I’ve been getting messages from you all year about training."
"I’m really sorry," Griffiths replied. "We only just realised we had the wrong number and I’ve recently fixed it. You should have sent me a text message and I would have taken you off the list months ago."
"I don’t really know how to send messages, I only know how to read them on the screen and make phone calls when I have satellite reception. You can leave me on the list. I don’t get many messages, so it’s fine."
Tony: "Satellite reception? Where are you from?"
"I’m in the middle of nowhere up in the Gulf Country on a remote cattle station. I drive road trains of cattle across the Northern Territory. There’s not much mobile contact up here. I often get home and say to my wife, ‘I got a message today, training is cancelled due to wet weather and we both have a little chuckle’."



So, as Cronshaw told the readers of the Newcastle Herald, Ray asked his daughter to find out on that "internet thing" just where Kotara Park was.
"We worked out you were near Newcastle," Ray told the coach. "I didn’t know if you were training the Newcastle Knights or Newcastle Jets."
"That’s very close. We’re the mighty Under 13 Kotara Tigers."
And so it began, become the running joke on the cattle station. Arriving home after a long day hauling cattle down dusty roads, Ray’s wife would greet him with the query "is training on today?"

"It must be," Ray would reply, "I haven’t heard anything."
Pretty soon Ray and his wife get really interested and ask for updates on the team’s results.
"In the last game of the season, we were losing 2-0," Griffiths told Cronshaw. "We had to win or draw to make the semis. We scored two in the last 10 minutes, drew the game 2-2 and finished third on the ladder."
After the team made the semis, the lads had just one question for the coach: "Are you going to tell Ray?"
You better believe it!

Before their grand final against the top-of-the-table Nelson Bay last week, Ray texted the lads his best wishes, to let them know that a heart was beating for them up in the Northern Territory. The lads in turn, had a photo of themselves holding up a sign saying "Hi Ray, this one’s for you," and sent it to him.
How did they go?
They dusted them, of course!
They did it for Ray.

[skully]

Hehe, nice story.

[Big Dog]

[skully]

I see the new iPhone XS models will cost Aussies over $2,000 (for a farking phone that they use for one year before throwing it away fro the next Apple toy).

And the sheep will be lined up around the block.

[taipan]

It had been snowing all night. So at...

8:00 I made a snowman.

8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 So, I made a snow woman

8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere

8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead

8:22 The transgender person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts

8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa

8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended

8:42 The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role

8:43 The Government equalities officer arrived and threatened me with eviction

8:45 TV news crew from the BBC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and being called a sexist.

9:00 I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic sensibility offender bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices... My children are taken by social services

9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded

Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just the world in which we live today and it's going to get worse.

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