West Indies v England, 3xODIs + 3xT20s, 28 February - 13 March, 2014

England opening with spin? Giles' action plan in motion?

Promising (if not yet entirely significant) start for Moeen on the full international stage.

The Windies are worse players of spin than England. I did not think that was actually possible.

WIndies recovery, though. Moeen's first over in the PP going for 10, and Jordan getting a bit shreddy. 13 incl 2 wides in that over.

BetterBravo no doubt itching to get really slogging, with the help of RusticSammy and the have-a-go tail

10 off Jordan's latest over - including 3 wides in a row.

"Tactics not working".

Carnage at the finish.

Even the mighty Tim Bresnan. Who'd've thought HE'd get smashed around the park when clever tactics were called for??

I am so pleased Gashley's plans at the end of the innings went wrong!

That being said, that's a pretty average looking at the Windies batting lineup!

Now for the panting club hacker to waft away before clubbing one up in the air, and a team SR of 50, until someone whacks a quick 40 to make it look less embarrassing.

How did Moeen bowl?

Did anyone else what that Lizard Clarke on Sky talking through the changes! What a c0ckmuncher!

Solid effort from the openers but didn't happen for Puke Shite, can they avoid the collapse?

Doing their best to throw this one away. Great effort by Lumb though - debut century at 34 after many appearances in another format, will be a trivia question in years to come!

And how dafuq has Chavi played 100 JAMODIs?   

Oh dear, you've got to laugh.

Giles's England marches on boldly!!!! Bring on the future!!!!

So the very first match of the first tour under Giles' overlordship collapses in a heap.

Two dominant starts (= both innings) thrown away: without plan or clue, England sleepwalk their way to defeat.

Well done Ashley Giles. :golf clap: A knighthood cannot be far off. The man who picked up the pieces .... and forgot where he lost them.


Sarcasm-free: a good start nonetheless for Moeen Ali, and a decent knock until the 90s by Senior Debutant Lumb.

Shit death bowling, shit powerplay and death batting. Same old story.

Well at least they're all happy and chummy in the dressing room.


That's the main thing.

What about the England dressing room, though?

Everything's fine. They're taking the positives, and their 28-strong stats and analysis team are cheerily working away to ensure that everything will be fine for the next game. The players are all patting Ashley on the back, saying bad luck, but what a brilliant coaching job he did in that game. They're all "right behind him".

They weren't even trying to win the game in the last 5 overs or so. Otherwise they wouldn't have finished with 4 wickets left. When they went 6 down it just seemed to be damage limitation and red-inking from Chavi and FBT.

Maybe they were trying to thwart Giles' bid for power.

If so, give them a medal.

You couldn't make it up-

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2014/mar/01/stuart-broad-england-west-indies-odi-wide-rules?CMP=twt_gu

"We didn't know the wide rules"

Tim Bresnan's "Contribution":

A fluffed run-out opportunity
Going at 6.8 runs for a full ten over spell
Batting like a club number eleven

What does he have to do to get dropped?

He has to fall out with someone important and stop being a "good team man" of course...

If he loses the negatives (he must have them - no other excuse for him to keep being selected), the selectors may stop looking at the positives.

Shag Ashley Giles?

that's only going to prolong the agony for England fans