Re: West Indies v England, 1st Test, Antigua, 13-17 April 2015

by LeFromage Mon 13 Apr 2015, 09:21

lardbucket wrote:
Dello wrote:
Brass Monkey wrote:I don't mind Moeen. Buttler is ok, in that Time Nice But Dim sort of way.

Tell you who did my head in the other day though - Finn. The man is saying that my eyes deceived me when I used to see him regularly clock 5 mph quicker in his bowling spells.

He actually said I was lying. To myself!

Fock off Steve. I do NOT lie to myself.

YOU'RE the one who's lying, you brash Haircut 300 tosser. Whimper back to Middx you dobbing, sprayward ponce

5mph? Try 10mph quicker.

Call me a liar, Steven, I dare you. If you get your larynx, tongue and mouth to coordinate without crashing into the stumps.

Who 'negged' that? Fool. I can only assume that they aimed for the plus button, but had Finn's aim.

If you CAN get your larynx etc.

Negged for a typo. Tough crowd.

by Nath Mon 13 Apr 2015, 11:17

Brass Monkey wrote:Seriously - is it likely to be? Dud pitches, an exceptionally boring England team, gash Windies team?

all of the above. a battle of "who sucks least".

by Brass Monkey Mon 13 Apr 2015, 14:34

Ooh England lose the toss, get inserted. Trott opens with Cook. Anybody wanna guess what the session run rate will be? I'm going 1.71...

by Brass Monkey Mon 13 Apr 2015, 14:42

Wait wait wait... The county non-starter James Tredwell gets a Test. Good for him. Earned it.

by Brass Monkey Mon 13 Apr 2015, 15:04

Trott gone for a blob. Decent selection, Choccy

by Lindsay no.2 Mon 13 Apr 2015, 15:12

Cook is lucky that Ramdin's feet are set in concrete.

by Henry Mon 13 Apr 2015, 15:20

Gotta love England.

Leave out the most in-form English batsman available (Lyth) in a test series where surely it's beneficial to try a few new players, and pick a guy (Trott) who has been out of test cricket for over a year because of mental issues, then bat him out of position in his first test back.

by Lindsay no.2 Mon 13 Apr 2015, 15:25

Brass Monkey wrote:Ooh England lose the toss, get inserted. Trott opens with Cook. Anybody wanna guess what the session run rate will be? I'm going 1.71...

What do you think this is man? 20/20!

Currently going at 0.80.

Lovely stuff.

by Henry Mon 13 Apr 2015, 15:26

Haven't you heard??? It's all about the "brand" of cricket. Frankly, this is breathless, bold stuff so far.

by Lindsay no.2 Mon 13 Apr 2015, 15:27

Henry wrote:Gotta love England.

Leave out the most in-form English batsman available (Lyth) in a test series where surely it's beneficial to try a few new players, and pick a guy (Trott) who has been out of test cricket for over a year because of mental issues, then bat him out of position in his first test back.

That's Moores and Cook's equivalent of 'out of the box' thinking. Must've picked up one of Andy Flower's management-o-bullshit leadership books and had a go at implementing a new idea. That'll teach them.

by Winkle Spinner Mon 13 Apr 2015, 15:32

For all I'm excited to rag on England's shitness, credit to Taylor and Roach. They're bowling very nicely indeed.

by Lindsay no.2 Mon 13 Apr 2015, 15:36

Yep - they're bowling competently. Not particularly threatening mind you, but the docile pitch isn't helping that much.

Interested to see what Holder can get out of it.

by Lindsay no.2 Mon 13 Apr 2015, 15:38

Such a shame that Roach has lost his pace.

by Lindsay no.2 Mon 13 Apr 2015, 15:39

Like I said - shame he's lost his pace. :-)

by Winkle Spinner Mon 13 Apr 2015, 15:41

England paying their respects to Richie Benaud with that score. Must have been their plan all along.

by Henry Mon 13 Apr 2015, 15:42

The world has figured out Cook.

I doubt he'll get another short delivery to hit away for the rest of his career.

by Lindsay no.2 Mon 13 Apr 2015, 15:43

It was rather good of Cook to allow Richie from up above to be able to pronounce 'Chew for Chwenty chew'. Nice touch Cookie.

by Lindsay no.2 Mon 13 Apr 2015, 15:44

Winkle Spinner wrote:England paying their respects to Richie Benaud with that score. Must have been their plan all along.

You beat me to it. Apologies for copycat style post.

by tricycle Mon 13 Apr 2015, 15:54

Has Holder's pace improved slightly?

by Brass Monkey Mon 13 Apr 2015, 16:05

The stunner is that Cook had months to work on his technique and it's still as blancmange as ever...

Two conclusions:

1. He's thick as pigshit
2. He's been made so conceited by Giles Clarke, he reckoned he was doing alright

Either way, the bloke is a prick and he can fock off for all I care. He'll be a walking wicket throughout the year. Luckily his captaincy makes up for it

by Brass Monkey Mon 13 Apr 2015, 16:11

Winkle Spinner wrote:For all I'm excited to rag on England's shitness, credit to Taylor and Roach. They're bowling very nicely indeed.

They're bowling well, no doubt. Just funny how they've suddenly started bowling well and it happens to be England at the crease

by taipan Mon 13 Apr 2015, 16:13

Electricity load shedding here. Are England still batting?

by Brass Monkey Mon 13 Apr 2015, 16:18

I don't know, I'm currently in a soporific state of fugue

by tricycle Mon 13 Apr 2015, 16:22

taipan wrote:Electricity load shedding here. Are England still batting?

Not for much longer, the way things are going.

by Guest Mon 13 Apr 2015, 16:31

This is great, truly. Hope the Windies finish us off and then don't out TAYPOC us when they are batting. If we lose this series and then lose against New Zealand then hopefully a few more heads will roll. We need a complete clear out.

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