Smith's latest tour diary instalment.

by Red Fri 04 Jul 2008, 09:54

http://sport.iafrica.com/columns/dan_world/1008901.htm

by Brass Monkey Fri 04 Jul 2008, 09:58

Graeme Smith Tour Diary
Article By:
Wed, 02 Jul 2008 13:08

In another global exclusive, iafrica.com delves into the secret tour diary of South African cricket captain Graeme Smith, currently on tour in England...

Wednesday, 25 June: What a day... Got to England in one piece, despite an incident-packed flight (can we never have a smooth trip?). Some drunk Australian guy started abusing Jacques, and using some very inappropriate language; eventually Hashim (of all people!) sorted it out, by swapping seats with Jacques, turning to the Australian, and telling him that his luggage hadn't been properly searched on the way in. Then he sat there making ticking sounds... The Australian shut up very quickly, and peaceful flight all round. Go Hashim — never realised he had such a sense of humour.

Thursday, 26 June: First press conference of the trip, which went a little strangely, to be honest. Usual questions about form, the last tour (lovely guy from The Guardian mentioned my two double hundreds — must see if he's interested in a one-on-one), KP (held my tongue there). But then some strange ones about England's apparent new star, who to be honest I hadn't heard of. What do you think of Andy Murray, Graeme? Is he someone you look up to? Are you hoping to meet him on the trip? Would you name your first son after him? Whoever he is, the locals are going berserk about him; must do some research. More importantly, got a call from my agent — looks like things are in motion in Bollywood after my IPL stint...

Friday, 27 June: And so it begins... Sometimes, I honestly don't understand Neil. Gorgeous wife, international cricketer, very successful – and still the most superstitious person on the planet (which isn't aligned with Mercury at the moment, so he couldn't come to nets this morning). First he had an argument with Makhaya, who poured Neil's coffee at breakfast with his left hand, even though it's the last Friday in June in an Olympic year. Then he refused to take the number 52 bus with the rest of us (four 13s, absolute no-no). And when Bouch threw in a few pointed comments about a jockstrap and pair of socks that haven't seen a laundry since the double hundred in Bangladesh, Neil stormed off, with everyone else laughing. Honestly, skippering Pakistan would be easier sometimes.

Saturday, 28 June: Our new performance specialist, Jeremy Snape has joined us, and we had our first session with him today. Not quite what I was expecting, to be honest: he gave us a quick chat about focus, team work, and not letting cricket dominate our lives, and then took us down to the local pub for a few pints, and a boat race (Nella, Bouch and AB cleaned up there). Hashim looked distinctly unimpressed as he nursed a Dr. Pepper in the corner; still something different, I suppose. Agent called again just before dinner about a screen test. I'm out for the first game (hamstring tear after helping carry Warnie round the field celebrating our IPL semifinal win); should be able to use the time to work on something. This is very exciting...

Sunday, 29 June: Great start to the tour! Jacques got a great hundred, but then got hit on the elbow after going berserk, which was hilarious — the guy who hit him, Andy Caddick, must be about 90. Ash reckons Caddick toured South Africa pre-isolation; JP reckons that with those ears, he might be Arnold Geerdts's dad. Anyway, wasn't too serious, and good to see Jacques get runs, as well as Hashim, who batted brilliantly. Jeremy Snape deemed it a great start, and suggested going out for a pint; I opted out, gave Mickey my kit to take back to the hotel, and strolled back by myself, working on a few lines. Cricket's exciting, but if this comes off, it'll be something else entirely.

Monday, 30 June: Morné got three wickets today, and bowled really well, but not a terribly exciting day's cricket. Their 'keeper is South African, it turns out — at first I thought he was from Yorkshire, but he was actually speaking Afrikaans. Neil smoked out the dressing room with incense after getting a first-baller yesterday, which didn't help his popularity, and spent the day standing on one leg at first slip. Most of it passed me by though, I'm afraid — I don't want to say too much and jinx everything, but let's just say it's all looking extremely good. Lights, cameras, and a hell of a lot of action!

Tuesday, 1 July: Rather tepid draw, but I'm very happy with the first game, other than Ash letting Paul get his 50, which we won't hear the last about for the rest of the tour. Bowlers getting runs makes them absolutely impossible... Found out who Andy Murray is (geeky looking tennis player — reminds me a bit of Boeta), and just in time, as the press conference was two or three cricket questions, and then a dozen on someone who isn't even English! Still, if they'll take KP as English, they'll take anyone, I suppose. Judging by the press, if Murray wins Wimbledon, he'll be batting three and bowling first change against us next week. That might be a joke; what's deadly serious is the prospect of another sporting legend making the leap to an entirely different stage. Could I really be the next Shahrukh Khan?