Old Graeme Smith Tour Diary

by taipan Wed 09 Jun 2010, 12:39

Not sure if it was posted at the time

Friday 7: Arrived in Melbourne — very excited! Sat next to Inzi on the plane from Dubai, and think we may have a problem — he chatted to me for most of the trip, but I couldn't understand a word he said. Eventually gave him my airline meal, which seemed to make him happy. Wonder what the Urdu word for twelfth man is?

Saturday 8: Bumped into Michael Vaughan in the lobby of the hotel this morning. He seemed surprised to see me, and said he hadn't realised that the Super Series was on — he just happened to be in Melbourne at the time. Asked if everyone was fit, and said that by chance he had his kit with him if we were a bit short. Said I'd let him know.

Sunday 9: Watched the guys lose the last one-day game today, which was disappointing. Had a bit of a run in with Kevin Pietersen, who I don't like very much. But got one over him — called him a skunk, because of the white stripe in his hair, which was pretty funny. That showed him. Brought my autograph book along, and got Brian Lara's signature, which was awesome; pity Sachin Tendulkar isn't here, but Rahul said he'd get it for me, and I can paste it into my autograph book, which will be very cool.

Monday 10: Bumped into Vaughan again on the way down to breakfast, bouncing a ball on his bat in the corridor outside my room. Said he was keeping his eye in just in case, and offered to give me some throw downs in the nets if I wanted any, which was nice of him. Quite a coincidence that he's in the same hotel as us, I suppose. Had a net session this morning, but didn't go so well — Murali was bowling and Mark was 'keeping, but kept missing the ball (Freddie started calling him Geraint, which was really nasty). Sorted it out in the end, though — Murali will scratch his ear if he's going to bowl his doosra, and rub his nose if it's a top-spinner. And Ian Chappell said I couldn't captain a top spin bowler...

Tuesday 11: Went to the ICC Awards this evening — pretty cool. Richie Benaud didn't wear a beige jacket, which was a first. Pietersen arrived with some old blonde woman — thought it might have been an aunt, but turns out it's his new girlfriend. Got an SMS from Herschelle during the dinner, but as usual couldn't understand a word of it. Still, nice of him to think of me. He wouldn't have liked the evening, though, and neither would Nicky — dinner was curry, and both Herschelle and Nicky hate spicy food so much that they won't even go to India.

Wednesday 12: Been a lot of talk that the team won't be motivated, and that we're only in it for the money, the nice restaurants, and a bit of a holiday with wives and girlfriends. That's not remotely true — we were discussing it at the beach this morning, and then again over a light lobster and champagne lunch, and we all agree that we're fired up for Friday. And just to make sure, I've organised a team spa session this evening before the wine tasting.

Thursday 13: Woken up at three in the morning by a banging outside — Michael Vaughan practicing his driving in the corridor! He couldn't believe it was me when I opened the door — he just happened to be in Sydney, and was staying at our hotel. Was very friendly, wanting to know how the team was, and if everyone was fit and okay to play; but I wasn't entirely happy to be woken up so early, to be honest. And it didn't settle my nerves — hardly touched the salmon at breakfast (Inzi finished it for me), and almost gave the boat cruise a skip. Getting very excited for tomorrow, though. Me captaining Lara, Dravid, Murali, Harmison — who would have thought?

Friday 14: What a day of drama. I read out the team at breakfast, with Inzi as twelfth man — he looked up, burst into tears, and ran and locked himself in his hotel room. I had to send Mark to go and get Shoaib from his sun bed, so he could come and talk to Inzi, as none of the rest of us can understand a word he says.

Eventually Shoaib talked him out of his room, and Shaun said he didn't mind stepping down for the game so that Inzi could play. It probably works out, I suppose — Inzi's happy, and as Vettori and Murali are playing, we've already got enough slow bowlers.

The cricket? Well, we started pretty well, until Gilchrist got a bit lucky at the end. I think we're coming together as a team really well, and I'm sure the Super Series will be a huge success.

Saturday 15: Another poor start to the day. Woke up at four to a commotion outside, and opened up to find some rather rude words painted onto my door. I read them to Minki, and she was really upset too. Rushed down the corridor to catch the person responsible, but when I got to the lift, the only person there was Michael Vaughan, who's staying in the same hotel as us. He said he was going for a walk, and hadn't seen anything. Guess he must be on English time.

As a result, game didn't go so well. Got out for 12, and the other guys struggled. Had a long chat with Dan Vettori in the pavilion — he's quite an interesting guy. Said he didn't like playing at the indoor stadium in Melbourne, as it's quite claustrophobic; I just think you'd feel sort of closed in and confined. Dan just laughed, so I laughed too. Strange guy.

Australia are batting again, and looking quite good. Big effort needed tomorrow. Hope they find the guy who did my door.

Sunday 16: Slight altercation at breakfast. Shoaib hasn't been doing twelfth man duty, as he hasn't been feeling too well. But when we got back to the hotel he was sitting in the jacuzzi working steadily through the hotel cocktail menu.

So this morning, Jacques had a go at Shoaib, and said he was as fat and lazy as Inzi, which was a bit unfair on Inzi, I thought. Then Shoaib called Jacques bald, which makes Jacques really cross, as he is losing his hair quite fast. Inzi burst into tears again, Freddie muttered something about staying in England, and then Michael Vaughan appeared with a beaming smile. Weird morning.

And then just as I thought the day was finally getting better — we bowled them out for 199 — I go and get out for nought, and Virender was out too before stumps. We'll need a miracle tomorrow. No word on my bedroom door.

Monday 17: So much for the miracle. All out for 144, and we lose by 210 runs. I said from the start that the concept wouldn't work, but no one listened to me. Australia played really well, and the new leg-spinner who looks a bit like an orc from Lord of the Rings was pretty good. But we're still pretty disappointed, and even the champagne dinners, five-star hotels and constant pampering don't really take the sting out of it.

Tuesday 18: Ricky Ponting gave me a lift to the airport, which was nice of him. Had picked up his new McLaren Mercedes with the R870 000-odd he got in prize money for the tournament, so guess their win was worth it. Our match fee works out at just R150 000 — and to think people called this an overpaid jaunt.

Saw Michael Vaughan at the airport, carrying a banner reading 'At least I could beat Australia'. Bit over the top, but there you go. The writing on the banner looked a bit familiar — sure I'd seen it somewhere before.

Had to do a last signing session at the airport before we left. Someone asked me if I liked Richie Benaud, and I certainly do; then he asked me who my favourite commentator was in South Africa. I said Mike Haysman, which I thought would make him and all the other Australians happy, but no one seemed to have heard of him. Oh well.