These may well have gotten me banned from C4

But I do like Rodney Dangerfield's humour.

Well I did before he died.

He hasn't said much lately.



I can't see the big deal with calling a Pakistani a Paki.

It's just the same as calling an

Australian an Aussie, a Scotsman a Scot

or a Frenchman a c**t.


When I was a kid I used to pray every nightfor a new bike.

Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way,

so I stole one and asked him to forgive me


I'm not racist, racism is a crime, and crime is for black people

I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She said I had to stop masturbating.

When I asked why she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you!"


I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.

I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it f****ing start?"


Chinese guy walks into a bar.

The bartender is black.

Chinese guys says, "Gimmie a jigger, nigger!"

The black guy is shocked, but gives him a shot.

The Chinese guy does the same thing again.

The black guy gets pissed but still gives him another shot.

The Chinese guy says it again.

The black guy is royally pissed now.

He yells, "You get back here! I'm going to do the same thing to you and you can see how it feels."

The black guy storms out and the Chinese guy gets behind the bar.

The black guy walks in and yells, "Gimmie a drink, chink!"

The Chinese guys says, "Sorry. We don't serve niggers here!"

PMSL.

You only seem to have pissed off 50% of the planet there.

"What's better than winning gold at the paralympics"?

"Having two legs."

Can't think up a repulsive gay joke at the moment.

Some Welsh Jibe aswell Zat would have helped the "pissing off" cause.

I can understand how insulting gay people would add to the 'hit' stats for the OP, but why bother with a minority like the Welsh?

Hehehe, noice work, Zoggy.

You might like this site: http://www.sickipedia.org/

When I was a kid I used to pray every nightfor a new bike.

Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way,

so I stole one and asked him to forgive me

I like this one.

Has anyone ever clicked on the Report an abuse facility down at the bottom of the page?

We regularly break a number of those criteria.

Be careful peeps.

Demelza wrote:Has anyone ever clicked on the Report an abuse facility down at the bottom of the page?

We regularly break a number of those criteria.

Be careful peeps.

Only one person has ever used that button.

Ahh, the morning:

Where you pretend not to hate all your co-workers for a few hours before you eventually give in.

Jeeeez, I know that feeling all too well. Time for a holiday . . .

Three guys are arguing at a bar about who has the biggest dick. They're as camp as a row of tents and the barman is getting the shits.

"Alright if you'll all shut up and plop them on the bar I'll measure them then you can fark off."

Just as they've got them out and laid out another guy walks in and says, "Oooohhh! Barman I'll have the smorgasboard."

Demelza wrote:Has anyone ever clicked on the Report an abuse facility down at the bottom of the page?

We regularly break a number of those criteria.

Be careful peeps.

Suggest you lay off the medication, it's changing your personality.

I wish!

Zat wrote:

Demelza wrote:Has anyone ever clicked on the Report an abuse facility down at the bottom of the page?

We regularly break a number of those criteria.

Be careful peeps.

Suggest you lay off the medication, it's changing your personality.

Assuming she had any personality . . .

That's why I wish it would change it, stupid.

It's not easy being me.

Come on, Dem, don't sell yourself short! You are definitely the easiest person on the forum . . .

Demelza wrote:Has anyone ever clicked on the Report an abuse facility down at the bottom of the page?

We regularly break a number of those criteria.

Be careful peeps.

Well these are the offences. Anyone notice any of them?

Sexual and/or pornographic content
Violent or repulsive content
Hateful or abusive content
Defamatory content and / or affecting the integrity of a person
Harmful and dangerous acts
Drugs and any other illicit substance
Sale or exchange of medication that requires a prescription from a licensed practitioner, or medicines without prescription
Copyright infringment
Spam
Phishing and/ or malware website
Credit card fraud
Hacking
This website violates in any other way the terms of service.

C'mon, they don't really mean the first four or five on the list. We'd have nothing to say, otherwise.

Anyone know where I can score some under the counter valium?

Will exchange for drugs or any other illicit substance.

Though can arrange payment through a credit card I found at the pub last week.

If all else fails I'm willing to perform a harmful or dangerous act.

Bradman wrote:If all else fails I'm willing to perform a harmful or dangerous act.

Sorry, I don't mess around with married men.

Nor do I.

That's lets out all the really harmful and dangerous stuff, then.

Well there's still driving in Rome.

Drinking American beer.

Welching on a bet with a guy named Meat.

Being a Hell's Angel's lawyer.

etc,etc.

Spam is hateful.