These may well have gotten me banned from C4

Spam and eggs ain't bad.

Spam is the Devil's meat.

Aye, I'm tired of offshore Nigerian sons of exiled ministers trying to syphon my bank account while simultaneously stuffing me with bogus drugs, making me unrefusable subscription offers and tripling the length of my python.

taipan wrote:

Demelza wrote:Has anyone ever clicked on the Report an abuse facility down at the bottom of the page?

We regularly break a number of those criteria.

Be careful peeps.

Well these are the offences. Anyone notice any of them?

Sexual and/or pornographic content
Violent or repulsive content
Hateful or abusive content
Defamatory content and / or affecting the integrity of a person
Harmful and dangerous acts
Drugs and any other illicit substance
Sale or exchange of medication that requires a prescription from a licensed practitioner, or medicines without prescription
Copyright infringment
Spam
Phishing and/ or malware website
Credit card fraud
Hacking
This website violates in any other way the terms of service.

And they're just the ones Dello is guilty of!

Some of them were great, Zat but I won't tell which ones.
Here's one I can't stop laughing at:

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Johnny what is your problem?"
Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first Grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
Ms Brooks had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office.
While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.
The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave.

She agreed. Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Johnny: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Johnny: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, "I think Johnny can go to the third-grade."
Ms Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?"
The principal and Johnny both agree.
Ms Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Johnny, after a moment replies "Legs."
Ms Brooks: What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?
Johnny: Pockets.
Ms Brooks: What starts with a C and ends with a T is hairy, oval, and delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Johnny: Coconut.
Ms Brooks: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, but Johnny was taking charge.
Johnny: Bubblegum.
Ms Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Johnny: Shake hands.
Ms Brooks: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Ms Brooks: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Johnny: Tent.
Ms Brooks: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.
Johnny: Wedding Ring.
Ms Brooks: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Johnny: Nose.
Ms Brooks: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Johnny: Arrow.
Ms Brooks: What word starts with 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?
Johnny: Fire truck.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send Johnny to University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

Zat wrote:But I do like Rodney Dangerfield's humour.

Well I did before he died.

He hasn't said much lately.



I can't see the big deal with calling a Pakistani a Paki.

It's just the same as calling an

Australian an Aussie, a Scotsman a Scot

or a Frenchman a c**t.


When I was a kid I used to pray every nightfor a new bike.

Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way,

so I stole one and asked him to forgive me


I'm not racist, racism is a crime, and crime is for black people

I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She said I had to stop masturbating.

When I asked why she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you!"


I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.

I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it f****ing start?"


Chinese guy walks into a bar.

The bartender is black.

Chinese guys says, "Gimmie a jigger, nigger!"

The black guy is shocked, but gives him a shot.

The Chinese guy does the same thing again.

The black guy gets pissed but still gives him another shot.

The Chinese guy says it again.

The black guy is royally pissed now.

He yells, "You get back here! I'm going to do the same thing to you and you can see how it feels."

The black guy storms out and the Chinese guy gets behind the bar.

The black guy walks in and yells, "Gimmie a drink, chink!"

The Chinese guys says, "Sorry. We don't serve niggers here!"

These jokes are racist and offensive and not even funny..

But pretty normal for this forum.

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike.
Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way,
so I stole one and asked him to forgive me."

That's pretty funny, TBH.

*Buckaroo* wrote:But pretty normal for this forum.

Lewis allen

Southern trees bear strange fruit,
Blood on the leaves and blood at the root,
Black bodies swinging in the southern breeze,
Strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees.

Pastoral scene of the gallant south,
The bulging eyes and the twisted mouth,
Scent of magnolias, sweet and fresh,
Then the sudden smell of burning flesh.

Here is fruit for the crows to pluck,
For the rain to gather, for the wind to suck,
For the sun to rot, for the trees to drop,
Here is a strange and bitter crop.

ROTFLMAO

after 26/11, they were making fun of subis and mocking the deaths.

I am waiting for something to be perpetrated on them, to have my share of fun .. at their expense ofcourse.

so be around .. everybody gets a chance. And a crack at a 'jokes thread'.

Aberforth wrote:These jokes are racist and offensive and not even funny..

Yeah, you need a large chunk of humour and a slice of Roquefort cheese to understand that they aren't meant to be. It's what you read into them.

jim rich wrote:

Aberforth wrote:These jokes are racist and offensive and not even funny..

Yeah, you need a large chunk of humour and a slice of Roquefort cheese to understand that they aren't meant to be. It's what you read into them.

you're a subi living in the west, aren't you ? It's called dhimmitude.

*Buckaroo* wrote:after 26/11, they were making fun of subis and mocking the deaths.

'They' weren't, as you well know.

You repeat a lie many times, it's still a lie. You can do better than this.

lardbucket wrote:

*Buckaroo* wrote:after 26/11, they were making fun of subis and mocking the deaths.

'They' weren't, as you well know.

You repeat a lie many times, it's still a lie. You can do better than this.

He can?

lardbucket wrote:

*Buckaroo* wrote:after 26/11, they were making fun of subis and mocking the deaths.

'They' weren't, as you well know.

You repeat a lie many times, it's still a lie. You can do better than this.

skully and taips.

I complained to dello even, he said it was normal for this forum.

*Buckaroo* wrote:

lardbucket wrote:

*Buckaroo* wrote:after 26/11, they were making fun of subis and mocking the deaths.

'They' weren't, as you well know.

You repeat a lie many times, it's still a lie. You can do better than this.

skully and taips.

I complained to dello even, he said it was normal for this forum.

Still a lie Bucky.

IIRC you asked Dello to ban us.

"you're a subi living in the west, aren't you ? It's called dhimmitude."

Know your facts and stop squeezing that little pea you hold clamped between your ears. You're only getting shit out of it.

taipan wrote:IIRC you asked Dello to ban us.

ofcourse.
but wheelchairs would have been enough.

*Buckaroo* wrote:

jim rich wrote:

Aberforth wrote:These jokes are racist and offensive and not even funny..

Yeah, you need a large chunk of humour and a slice of Roquefort cheese to understand that they aren't meant to be. It's what you read into them.

you're a subi living in the west, aren't you ? It's called dhimmitude.

Is he? You've been presuming an awful lot just lately, buck. Saying you know someone votes BNP on another thread being a prime example.

Can't you understand that saying things that are blatantly untrue or unproven is what makes people dismiss everything else you post?

jim rich wrote:"you're a subi living in the west, aren't you ? It's called dhimmitude."

Know your facts and stop squeezing that little pea you hold clamped between your ears. You're only getting shit out of it.

you want to lick their ar$e, go ahead. Don't expect everyone to follow your example.

lardbucket wrote:

*Buckaroo* wrote:after 26/11, they were making fun of subis and mocking the deaths.

'They' weren't, as you well know.

You repeat a lie many times, it's still a lie. You can do better than this.

Actually Lardy I think it was Goebbels who proved and proudly proclaimed that Bucky's technique can be effective.

How long as he been around for? His posts are getting eerily reminiscent of someone else we used to know and love.

If I didn't know for a fact that other someone was dead I'd be getting worried.

I think you missed a couple, Zatty:

I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone.
I said, "Morning."
He replied, "No, just having a shi*t."



Went to my first Muslim birthday party last week.
The musical chairs was a bit slow, but f **k me, pass the parcel was quick!!!

Bradman wrote:

lardbucket wrote:

*Buckaroo* wrote:after 26/11, they were making fun of subis and mocking the deaths.

'They' weren't, as you well know.

You repeat a lie many times, it's still a lie. You can do better than this.

Actually Lardy I think it was Goebbels who proved and proudly proclaimed that Bucky's technique can be effective.

How long as he been around for? His posts are getting eerily reminiscent of someone else we used to know and love.

If I didn't know for a fact that other someone was dead I'd be getting worried.

read this Bradman:

It can't die,

This forum is full of Bernard Mannings.