Re: England's Test squad for SL...

by Gary 111 Tue 16 Oct 2007, 22:29

JKLever wrote:
Gary 111 wrote:THE NORTH IS GRIM!!!

READ ' S GONNA GET YOU!!!!!!!!

England's Test squad for SL... - Page 5 F_Read2m_5a8a9a7

by JKLever Tue 16 Oct 2007, 22:30

Lara Lara Laughs wrote:
JKLever wrote:
Lara Lara Laughs wrote:
JKLever wrote:read FFS

It aint going to happen.

Shutup you flipperty flopping fool. I take it you no longer think Bell's any good you fickle featured fart face.

Read is pure class.

Bell is class, Read is a in headlights at test level

Something about backing the wrong horse. Something about dumping Bell. Short memory.

Quite clearly I was being sarcarstic, are you a yankee?

by Lara Lara Laughs Tue 16 Oct 2007, 22:31

Read got skills. Read got big gloves. Read got funk. Read got soul. Read from da midlands.

by JKLever Tue 16 Oct 2007, 22:32

Gary 111 wrote:

RABBIT IN FARKIN HEADLIGHTS!!! LOOK AT HIS FACE FFS!!

by Lara Lara Laughs Tue 16 Oct 2007, 22:32

JKLever wrote:
Lara Lara Laughs wrote:
JKLever wrote:
Lara Lara Laughs wrote:
JKLever wrote:read FFS

It aint going to happen.

Shutup you flipperty flopping fool. I take it you no longer think Bell's any good you fickle featured fart face.

Read is pure class.

Bell is class, Read is a in headlights at test level

Something about backing the wrong horse. Something about dumping Bell. Short memory.

Quite clearly I was being sarcarstic, are you a yankee?

by Gary 111 Tue 16 Oct 2007, 22:37

JKLever wrote:
Gary 111 wrote:

RABBIT IN FARKIN HEADLIGHTS!!! LOOK AT HIS FACE FFS!!

What's wrong with his face? He looks like a wicket-keeper to me. He's got that same 'i haven't had a shower for several days and probably smells a bit musty' look about him that Jack Russell and Alan Knott had.

Much better than Geraint 'pretty boy' Jones and Matt 'turd' Prior.

by holcs Tue 16 Oct 2007, 22:36

Lara Lara Laughs wrote:Read got skills. Read got big gloves. Read got funk. Read got soul. Read from da midlands.

Read got no farking balls!

by Lara Lara Laughs Tue 16 Oct 2007, 22:38

How do you know? Have you checked?

by holcs Tue 16 Oct 2007, 22:39

You don't have to check...

You can see by his lilly livered antics at the crease when he walks out to bat

by Gary 111 Tue 16 Oct 2007, 22:43

England's Test squad for SL... - Page 5 F_Read3m_169ab25

Read, England finally get it right

ENGLAND waited until a state of emergency was declared to summon Monty Panesar from the nets and waited until the Ashes were lost to call on Chris Read, the man generally acknowledged as the best wicketkeeper in the country. It is not Duncan Fletcher's style to admit his mistakes, but following Read's immaculate glovework in the past two Tests, even the curmudgeonly England coach might be moved to hang a sign outside his bereft dressing room saying — We were horribly wrong.

Read has convincingly upheld his reputation as a virtuoso gloveman since replacing Geraint Jones, with six dismissals in the second innings in Melbourne and also in the first innings in Sydney.

He has also drawn comparisons with England's most successful wicketkeeper, Alan Knott, and high praise from all-time great Ian Healy.

Healy said from the Channel Nine commentary box at the SCG yesterday that Read's performance was "the most convincing, effective display by an English wicketkeeper I've seen in 20 years".

So, next match we dropped him...

by Lara Lara Laughs Tue 16 Oct 2007, 22:44

holcs wrote:You don't have to check...

You can see by his lilly livered antics at the crease when he walks out to bat

But have you checked?

by holcs Tue 16 Oct 2007, 22:45

Gary 111 wrote:

Read, England finally get it right

ENGLAND waited until a state of emergency was declared to summon Monty Panesar from the nets and waited until the Ashes were lost to call on Chris Read, the man generally acknowledged as the best wicketkeeper in the country. It is not Duncan Fletcher's style to admit his mistakes, but following Read's immaculate glovework in the past two Tests, even the curmudgeonly England coach might be moved to hang a sign outside his bereft dressing room saying — We were horribly wrong.

Read has convincingly upheld his reputation as a virtuoso gloveman since replacing Geraint Jones, with six dismissals in the second innings in Melbourne and also in the first innings in Sydney.

He has also drawn comparisons with England's most successful wicketkeeper, Alan Knott, and high praise from all-time great Ian Healy.

Healy said from the Channel Nine commentary box at the SCG yesterday that Read's performance was "the most convincing, effective display by an English wicketkeeper I've seen in 20 years".

So, next match we dropped him...

We already had 4 number 11's we couldn't deal with a fifth!

by JKLever Tue 16 Oct 2007, 22:46

Gary 111 wrote:

Read, England finally get it right

ENGLAND waited until a state of emergency was declared to summon Monty Panesar from the nets and waited until the Ashes were lost to call on Chris Read, the man generally acknowledged as the best wicketkeeper in the country. It is not Duncan Fletcher's style to admit his mistakes, but following Read's immaculate glovework in the past two Tests, even the curmudgeonly England coach might be moved to hang a sign outside his bereft dressing room saying — We were horribly wrong.

Read has convincingly upheld his reputation as a virtuoso gloveman since replacing Geraint Jones, with six dismissals in the second innings in Melbourne and also in the first innings in Sydney.

He has also drawn comparisons with England's most successful wicketkeeper, Alan Knott, and high praise from all-time great Ian Healy.

Healy said from the Channel Nine commentary box at the SCG yesterday that Read's performance was "the most convincing, effective display by an English wicketkeeper I've seen in 20 years".

So, next match we dropped him...

After it was believed that the article above had either a) been written by a journo he had offered 3/4 of his match fee* or b) his Mum

* no, not really Mr C Reads lawyers!

by Lara Lara Laughs Tue 16 Oct 2007, 22:49

Yes. His mum made Ian Healey say the things he said.

by holcs Tue 16 Oct 2007, 22:49

Lara Lara Laughs wrote:
holcs wrote:You don't have to check...

You can see by his lilly livered antics at the crease when he walks out to bat

But have you checked?

I've told you its not necessary:

Direbyshire and cricket = Read and Batting

by Lara Lara Laughs Tue 16 Oct 2007, 22:49

It is necessary. If you claim that he has no balls you better have checked. So, have you checked?

by Gary 111 Tue 16 Oct 2007, 22:55

Although saying that Chris Read's mum might be a better bet than Matt Prior for England keeper. I mean genetics dictates that theoretically she might have some sort of decent hand-eye co-ordination, if its in the family. And we know Prior hasn't. The percentages are on her side.

And she could probably help wash the kit and make sure the players don't have to eat any of that nasty foreign food that gives them the dribbles.

by holcs Tue 16 Oct 2007, 22:55

Lara Lara Laughs wrote:It is necessary. If you claim that he has no balls you better have checked. So, have you checked?

have you checked then? Because i'm assuming you dont believe me.

by Lara Lara Laughs Tue 16 Oct 2007, 22:56

holcs wrote:
Lara Lara Laughs wrote:It is necessary. If you claim that he has no balls you better have checked. So, have you checked?

have you checked then? Because i'm assuming you dont believe me.

No, but I'm working on the basis that the vast majority of male human beings are born with testicles. You have no such basis.

by holcs Tue 16 Oct 2007, 23:00

Lara Lara Laughs wrote:
holcs wrote:
Lara Lara Laughs wrote:It is necessary. If you claim that he has no balls you better have checked. So, have you checked?

have you checked then? Because i'm assuming you dont believe me.

No, but I'm working on the basis that the vast majority of male human beings are born with testicles. You have no such basis.

I have some very strong evidence, although it may only be circumstantial.. I could play you tapes of Reads batting escapades and you'll see his lack of testicles on full show.

by Lara Lara Laughs Tue 16 Oct 2007, 23:02

So you haven't actually checked?

by Gary 111 Tue 16 Oct 2007, 23:04

That's right, we need a big man like big man Matthew Prior. He's a big man. He swears, he swaggers, he growls at old ladies crossing the road and he pisses all over the toilet seat.

by holcs Tue 16 Oct 2007, 23:04

Lara Lara Laughs wrote:So you haven't actually checked?

I've told you its not necessary, therefore just by that statements definition one would assume if its not necessary then I haven't!

by Gary 111 Tue 16 Oct 2007, 23:05

And he's got a Porsche. That proves he's the big man around here.

by holcs Tue 16 Oct 2007, 23:06

Gary 111 wrote:That's right, we need a big man like big man Matthew Prior. He's a big man. He swears, he swaggers, he growls at old ladies crossing the road and he pisses all over the toilet seat.

Ah but he can generally hold a cricket bat!

Even more importantly he actually looks like on the odd occasion he can use it too.

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