New Zealand v England, 1st Test, Dunedin, 6-10 March, 2013

Chivalry Augustus wrote:

Brass Monkey wrote:Bracewell is a decent enough bowler. Boult, on his day.

Decent enough, yes. Both of them would be the second best NZ bowlers if they played for Notts though. That's how I'm looking at it.

Dr Dre could still do a job for NZ. Given his Zimmer frame.

Chivalry Augustus wrote:Decent enough, yes. Both of them would be the second best NZ bowlers if they played for Notts though. That's how I'm looking at it.

Don't look at it like that, if you know you're looking at it like that, then you know you shouldn't be looking at it like that. You weird chrysanthemum.

PeterCS wrote:You don't sound like you'd be up for the GB (*) though.


(*) not "Great Britain"

I'd stand there pulling myself off, with the bat shoved up my shitbox and I'd still make more runs that those feeble lemons.

You could hardly claim to be playing a stroke if you attempted legbyes off your anatomy, with the shaft of the bat anally jammed.

Sometimes I'd double-hand it in. Amateur.

If you can do that on a hangover, I'll shake your hand.


After you've been to the showers.

So...I guess

Cook(c)
Compton
Trott
Pietersen
Bell
Root
Prior+
Broad
Swann
Anderson
Finn

Anything less than 3-0 will be a disappointment for England, although the Kiwi's usually raise their game against us.

Brass Monkey wrote:

Dello wrote:Mitch Mac's cabbaged his side. Doubt he'll be seen again until the series is over.

Oh. Yeah, of course. Forgot he was a Kiwi Aussie. They're only on the park for a month at best.

Easy mistake to make.

Henry wrote:So...I guess

Cook(c)
Compton
Trott
Pietersen
Bell
Root
Prior+
Broad
Swann
Anderson
Finn

Anything less than 3-0 will be a disappointment for England, although the Kiwi's usually raise their game against us.

No guesses needed. That will be England's team. It's a damn good team, too. Bell is the only dud in there.

Well, we need to see the Sturat of a couple of years ago as opposed to the recent version. Same goes for Belf as well, really.

This is a big series for Broad, I reckon. We should find out if his decline is temporary, or permanent.

I still wonder if he's really 100% fit?

I'd like to see them pick both Broad and Onions for the warm-up and give the final pace spot to whoever looks most threatening. Broad needs to up his pace back to where he was a couple of years ago, otherwise the guile of Onions will be more effective.

While we're at it - Bruce Martin?

Is that a real player or did NZ only have 11 available players and they just picked the most antipodean sounding name they could find to pad out the list and hope that no-one noticed?

Gary 111 wrote:While we're at it - Bruce Martin?

Is that a real player or did NZ only have 11 available players and they just picked the most antipodean sounding name they could find to pad out the list and hope that no-one noticed?

New Zealand fulfilling their 'Martin' quota. Although shamefully, Bruce can bat.

Henry wrote:So...I guess

Cook(c)
Compton
Trott
Pietersen
Bell
Root
Prior+
Broad
Swann
Anderson
Finn

Anything less than 3-0 will be a disappointment for England, although the Kiwi's usually raise their game against us.

This will probably be the side, but bearing in mind how ruthless England were in dropping Patel for Root in the last test against India, you can't quite rule out Root getting Compton's spot although I think that would be harsh on Compo.

Why is this starting on a Wednesday?

taipan wrote:Why is this starting on a Wednesday?

Probably because Kiwis can't tell the difference between Wednesday and Friday.

Are we taking bets on Finn no-balls?

Seriously hope he sorts out his follow through. It could be embarrassing otherwise.

Smerkles.

Basil wrote:

Henry wrote:So...I guess

Cook(c)
Compton
Trott
Pietersen
Bell
Root
Prior+
Broad
Swann
Anderson
Finn

Anything less than 3-0 will be a disappointment for England, although the Kiwi's usually raise their game against us.

This will probably be the side, but bearing in mind how ruthless England were in dropping Patel for Root in the last test against India, you can't quite rule out Root getting Compton's spot although I think that would be harsh on Compo.

Compo deserves a go on pitches that are vaguely familiar to him. He wasn't terrible in India either. Did a job. His game is much more suited to facing the quicks. Murders anything short, good leaver of the ball.

Finn is expected to be rested from tomorrow's only warm-up match, but it's pretty much a given that the make up of that side will be the Test team come whenever it is.

I'd be surprised if they dropped Compton as it would merely be to try and get Bairstow back into the side. And he's done nothing of note to warrant such a backing: can't play spin, can't play pace. Good combination.

Can't keep his eyes inside his head. Can't grow black, brown, or blonde hair like normal people.

what would be the English reaction if the Poms unthinkably lost this series?

horace wrote:what would be the English reaction if the Poms unthinkably lost this series?

Well Gus would go off on a drug-fuelled, urine stenching, capital letter prolific rant, for a start.

well thankfully I cannot see that happening...but would be no surprise if the snoozies had a real crack ...might cause monkeh to choke on a banana, bas to forsake pears...the Essesians to de-chav themselves...dello to split an infinitive etc