Australia v England, 1st Test, Brisbane, 21-25 November, 2013

My misunderstanding - I'm over it.

Yeah sorry, you were right all along.

Mike Selvey (not everyone's favourite cricket journalist, it's true) tweeted as he left for Australia that he had an ominous feeling about this tour. And that all those forecasting a simple win for the visitors might be left eating their words.

But whom, apart from Beefy (and if he read this forum, Merls) did he have in mind?

With a lot of dips and flakiness on either side, it's well set up for an unpredictable contest from the start - which might well (as previously, at least from 2005 on) turn, turn mightily, on this or that dropped catch, particular batting collapse, passage of rain or obdurate stand.

Cricket being cricket, a very small pivot can swing to 3-0 - or more - either way in the a final result. So apart from speculative bookie flutters, I don't really know how you can call this contest between uncertainties before it starts.  

Apart from frivolity and harmlessly intended wind-ups, that explains my scepticism about the more certain calls. I don't know even that tradition is that much of a guide, especially with these sides. Until recently, weren't England hopeless at Lord's, brilliant at the Oval, etc? "It ain't necessarily so".

The good news for England is that no one apart from Botham is talking them up as raging favourites. They play better when expectations are lower.

We'll still have a poor match at Brisbane, mind you. Haven't won the first test of an away series against decent opposition for what.....nine years??? Port Elizabeth 2004??

Yeah.
Woteva . . .

That's Mike Selvey 'trying to be different' again, whilst remaining heavily within the norm.

There's no big talk. Very little that I've seen. The biggest talk I've seen has come from random Strino journalists getting soundbites from drongo ex-players.

Brass Monkey wrote:

PeterCS wrote:This may need a translation.


Actually, it's more that straight talk is very quickly done, and generally also flat.

And second, the real possibilities are generally a lot more open than any plain, cocksure sentence.


So the ironic, subacid or droll layers of conversation might as well reflect that greater unpredictability.

Just a view, I know.

People have taken into account Australia's record at the ground, the fact that England are very poor starters to the series, the fact that England were hardly ascendant on the truer pitches in the last series and drew the conclusion that the odds were hardly outlandish - and that warrants such a glib response? I feel I'm in disagreement with you.

true pitches!!!!!!!!!!! ...the monk in a bizarro historicism event.......dry pitches prevailed in Pomgolia as predicted by the english commentators on the beeb during the first test...for which I was lambasted or hit with a feather by Monkeh for repeating

The pitches were mundane. They had nothing in them at all. You made out they were raging bunsens of the most doctored order. You did it in attempt to wind up people and it didn't work. The pitches turned out to be dead dicks, which invalidated any wind up you had going on. After a consistent-yet-sparse ribbing on this subject, you threw your toys out of the cot (incredibly rich considering your modus operandi of such ribbings). If you want to continue to be a whinging pussy, that's cool, I don't mind. But, you might want to reconsider, given your last n years track record on this message board - it doesn't look very good on you.

A lot of needle. It's Ashes time all right.

I'm still getting used to the last one.

No needle. I'm just hoping he quits being a bitch and takes his medicine.

Brass Monkey wrote:The pitches were mundane. They had nothing in them at all. You made out they were raging bunsens of the most doctored order. You did it in attempt to wind up people and it didn't work. The pitches turned out to be dead dicks, which invalidated any wind up you had going on. After a consistent-yet-sparse ribbing on this subject, you threw your toys out of the cot (incredibly rich considering your modus operandi of such ribbings). If you want to continue to be a whinging pussy, that's cool, I don't mind. But, you might want to reconsider, given your last n years track record on this message board - it doesn't look very good on you.

No, never.

So this can only go well:

http://www.smh.com.au/sport/cricket/ashes-2013-realtime-snicko-to-be-used-in-tests-for-first-time-20131118-2xrky.html

Brass Monkey wrote:No needle. I'm just hoping he quits being a bitch and takes his medicine.

 
urrk....not swallowing your medicine....
 
as I said at the time ...it was the pom commentators who talked about the bunsens on your Beeb...which I repeated...so yes you were right...the pitches ended up being dry and pretty lifeless and the Beeb was  wrong and of course I am wrong for believing what the Beeb says...
 
so I bow before you ya young scamp

Yes, such a shame for the Aussies that green seamers weren't produced, because they have such a good record on those types of pitches.

as it transpired we were lucky....the pitches neutralised your champ seamer

Australia play their best cricket on roads. Any seam or spin plays to England's advantage.

And I'm not sure bouncy pitches are to Australia's advantage either, seeing as your best batsman doesn't fancy it around his adam's apple one bit.

Henry wrote:And I'm not sure bouncy pitches are to Australia's advantage either, seeing as your best batsman doesn't fancy it around his adam's apple one bit.

I thought siddle fancied himself against the short ball.

Henry wrote:Australia play their best cricket on roads. Any seam or spin plays to England's advantage.

When did we play our last "best cricket"? Opinions may vary.

Bradman wrote:

Henry wrote:Australia play their best cricket on roads. Any seam or spin plays to England's advantage.

When did we play our last "best cricket"?  Opinions may vary.

At home. On roads. With the Kookaburra ball, which stops swinging or seaming after 10 overs.

against Pakistan... in full "Akmal"

They played pretty well against South Africa last Summer at Brisbane and Adelaide without being able to beat them.

G.Wood wrote:

Brass Monkey wrote:The pitches were mundane. They had nothing in them at all. You made out they were raging bunsens of the most doctored order. You did it in attempt to wind up people and it didn't work. The pitches turned out to be dead dicks, which invalidated any wind up you had going on. After a consistent-yet-sparse ribbing on this subject, you threw your toys out of the cot (incredibly rich considering your modus operandi of such ribbings). If you want to continue to be a whinging pussy, that's cool, I don't mind. But, you might want to reconsider, given your last n years track record on this message board - it doesn't look very good on you.

No, never.

Noice.

stunned at all the Oz team bigging themselves up in such theatrical terms...we have an ancient standard opener, an idiot opener, a selfish over rated cretin at 3, a decent number 4 the good ole boys don't like, a specialist fieldsman at 5, a failed shield batsman at 6, some bloke at 7 who neither bats, bowls nor keeps, not pidge at 8, an honest pedestrian trundler at 9, a crock bowler at 10 and the slightly less embarassing bowler than X Doherty at 11...
 
we have no chance against jimmeh, chef, the village idiot, princess and the saffie support crew

Yeah, yeah.