God and Ponting

A friend sent me this a couple of days ago and I thought you might enjoy it (even though it
is probably a very old joke that previously featured other people)...

God asks Donald Bradman, "What do you believe?" Donald thinks long and
hard, looks God in the eye, and says, "I believe in hard work, and in
staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but
I always tried to do right by my fans."


God can't help but see the essential goodness of Bradman, and offers him a
seat to his left.


Then God turns to Allan Border and says, "What do you believe?" Allan says,
"I believe passion, discipline, courage and honour are the fundamentals of
life. I, too, have been lucky, but win or lose, I've always tried to be a
true sportsman, both on and off the playing fields."


God is greatly moved by Allan's sincere eloquence, and He offers him a seat
to his right.


Finally, God turns to Ricky Ponting: "And you, Ricky, what do you believe?"


Ricky replies, "I believe you're in my seat."

I've another one which is even worse after the Sydney test -

"Ricky, Ricky"
"Yes, Papa"
"Eating sugar"
"No, Papa"
"Telling lies?"
"No, Papa"
"Open your mouth"
"I think if you are actually questioning my integrity......you should not be standing here."

Anniyan wrote:even though it
is probably a very old joke that previously featured other people)...

Correct

Both were gash, so it's pretty moot.

Batfink Begins wrote:Both were gash, so it's pretty moot.

Debateable?

Or is that just hearsay?

taipan wrote:

Batfink Begins wrote:Both were gash, so it's pretty moot.

Debateable?

Or is that just hearsay?

Uhh, it's not hearsay evidence. I GOT CONFUSED WITH THE SOMEWHAT AMBIGUOUS 'HEARSAY' AND 'HEARSAY EVIDENCE' OK!!?????

Batfink Begins wrote:

taipan wrote:

Batfink Begins wrote:Both were gash, so it's pretty moot.

Debateable?

Or is that just hearsay?

Uhh, it's not hearsay evidence. I GOT CONFUSED WITH THE SOMEWHAT AMBIGUOUS 'HEARSAY' AND 'HEARSAY EVIDENCE' OK!!?????

Good bottle of wine?

Batfink Begins wrote:Both were gash, so it's pretty moot.

Aye just recycled rubbish recieved the same email the other day but about footballers - Ronaldinho, Messi and Ronaldo.

taipan wrote:
Good bottle of wine?

No, I just channelled Lara. She didn't mind(ooh 'ow's yer father). I've got a bottle of Thunderbird actually. It's sh!te.

Batfink Begins wrote:

taipan wrote:
Good bottle of wine?

No, I just channelled Lara. She didn't mind(ooh 'ow's yer father). I've got a bottle of Thunderbird actually. It's sh!te.

Thunderbird will rot your brain and make your gonads turn a nice shade of green.

Basil wrote:
Thunderbird will rot your brain and make your gonads turn a nice shade of green.

Not as bad as Sanatogen or Buckfast, that sh1t turns you into a werewolf or yeti. But I agree. I'm one of those weirdos who'll buy disgusting sh1t on a whim. Still, at least I get hammered.

Batfink Begins wrote:

Basil wrote:
Thunderbird will rot your brain and make your gonads turn a nice shade of green.

Not as bad as Sanatogen or Buckfast, that sh1t turns you into a werewolf or yeti. But I agree. I'm one of those weirdos who'll buy disgusting sh1t on a whim. Still, at least I get hammered.

I'll stick to the beer.

Basil wrote:

Batfink Begins wrote:

Basil wrote:
Thunderbird will rot your brain and make your gonads turn a nice shade of green.

Not as bad as Sanatogen or Buckfast, that sh1t turns you into a werewolf or yeti. But I agree. I'm one of those weirdos who'll buy disgusting sh1t on a whim. Still, at least I get hammered.

I'll stick to the beer.

Cheers

Promise me you'll try Taboo, gin, lemonade and sours before we all get killed by robots. It's a fookin revelation.

Batfink Begins wrote:Promise me you'll try Taboo, gin, lemonade and sours before we all get killed by robots. It's a fookin revelation.

The better half's lad works in a restaurant - he says he'll fix one for me if I go in and see him. If I don't post for a fortnight - you'll know why!

taipan wrote:

Basil wrote:

Batfink Begins wrote:

Basil wrote:
Thunderbird will rot your brain and make your gonads turn a nice shade of green.

Not as bad as Sanatogen or Buckfast, that sh1t turns you into a werewolf or yeti. But I agree. I'm one of those weirdos who'll buy disgusting sh1t on a whim. Still, at least I get hammered.

I'll stick to the beer.

Cheers

Prost!

Basil wrote:

Batfink Begins wrote:Promise me you'll try Taboo, gin, lemonade and sours before we all get killed by robots. It's a fookin revelation.

The better half's lad works in a restaurant - he says he'll fix one for me if I go in and see him. If I don't post for a fortnight - you'll know why!

Nice. You'll be pleasently surprised.

Batfink Begins wrote:Both were gash, so it's pretty moot.

Would have been better if it was mute ....