Ashes Squad - who makes Noah's... erm ...cbnlg's ark?

Time for a single thread for speculation on the squad for the Ashes. Personally I think the batting and bowling require attention.

Batsmen
I really hope one or both of Puc and Sanga get a gig. Both are calm batsman and have the class to be competitive against Jimmeh and the others if given a chance. 

I expect there will be three openers taken. Ed, Wrench and a certain Spiv opener - yep you guessed right Hughes. gcspoc aside from being an "arsehole from El Paso" has dire form in England. Monty Burns lacks technique against the moving ball as Skully has noted.

Unless he stuffs up royally against the Rank-ans Uber Koala is a lock.

If fit, Seasick Steve will get a gig and be the only one of the three liars and cheats to be recalled. Who knows if he will find any form.

At least one of Gimme Head and Lasagna are on the leaky ark too if they show the ability to convert starts.



All ... erm...joke ... rounder
We do not have a viable all rounder but I expect GroinsRus will get a gig. His bowling will be more useful than his batting in England. Besides, he is a bouncy aggressive bloke who never seems down in the mouth. We will need someone on the Ark to keep the team's spirits up.

Quicks
Hacklewood failed miserably on the last boat trip to Pomgolia. I have seen nothing to suggest improvement.

Assuming they are fit, I'd take Koo, Second, Ptomaine and Patto. The latter two swing the ball and OP is the sort of aggressive quick any touring party needs. (koo and Second are pussycats unfortunately). I'd run skinny with the the number of quicks taken but instruct the likes of Hacklewood, Dork, Marc Bolan and Tassies' Stinko to get County gigs so they are match hardened.

Spinners
Elmer is a lock, but the key question is should another spinner get a gig. Normally I'd say yes, but this year most are bowling old tosh, including Dutchy who has had some injuries to deal with. I expect Lasagna (aka the Quarp) may be called on like Ollie North, Fleas and Bevan once were (and didnt that work out well!).

Keeper
 Ima is a lock, irrespective of whether there are better keeper/bats around. I would not bother with a reserve but I would direct Carey to find a County contract.

Who misses out beyond the reserves I'd plonk into County teams?
Even if the old myth stipulates the animals entered two by two, this is not an argument for including the Marsh kiddies. Surely to goodness there is no argument for the inclusion of either. Neither is it an argument for the inclusion of Mrs R or gcspoc - the sandpaper twins. The latter, aside from being a cheating creepy and violent bogan is close to useless overseas.

There are legitimate arguments for others who might be in the running but should miss. Fitter'n and Dools would need an outstanding set of Shield games against the Duke ball to get a gig as would Monty (mentioned above). 

Irrespective of the runs he makes or how well he keeps Wade has no chance. Ditto for No Show. The caravan or the leaky ark in this case has moved on. 

Fink, Sneaky Pete, Sids all clearly miss. Happily Kjnr is not a selector so Reeks FFS is no chance. 

The potential out of the blue "he's a great Aussie bloke" shock inclusion?
Most of us would be appalled but not surprised if cbnlg and Hohns included sok (O'Keefe) as 2nd spinner. Once before they rushed him to the subi-con when he was still under suspension by NSW for appalling behaviour. The selectors have form and it is not good.

So, who is your squad (using their actual names).

JGK wrote:So, who is your squad (using their actual names).

Oh come on Mr K.

What are your thoughts or do you think it too early to speculate at long odds?

Harris
Renshaw
D Hughes
Usman
Smith
Pucovski
Head
Sangha
Labuschagne
Stoinis
Paine
Cummins
Starc
Tremain
Pattinson
Lyon

Kurtis Paterson nailed the Lankans for 157 yesty.

And while I agree with h's sentiments to leave Warner out, I don't think that will happen.

skully wrote:Kurtis Paterson nailed the Lankans for 157 yesty.

And while I agree with h's sentiments to leave Warner out, I don't think that will happen.

great to see KP2 bat well... if he does not make the Touring group he should be playing CC.

I agree the NSP will include gcspoc. It will be a disaster tour for him and us, as it has been every time he plays os.

Smith's average drops by more than Warner's when they leave Oz

Harris
Renshaw
D Hughes ....Warner Burns and Banger ahead of him
Usman
Smith
Pucovski
Head
Sangha ....No room for two rookies plus need an extra bowler...or Sharapova as a batsman and keeper
Labuschagne ...I'd rather take Maxwell pity he didnt move to dubberland ...
Stoinis
Paine
Cummins
Starc
Tremain ...Hazlenuts
Pattinson ....Jhye is a chance if Patto's back is not up to it
Lyon

Dutchy as a second spin option

Has there been any indication of the Ashes squad size?

embee wrote:Harris
Renshaw
D Hughes ....Warner Burns and Banger ahead of him
Usman
Smith
Pucovski
Head
Sangha ....No room for two rookies plus need an extra bowler...or Sharapova as a batsman and keeper
Labuschagne ...I'd rather take Maxwell pity he didnt move to dubberland   ...
Stoinis
Paine
Cummins
Starc
Tremain ...Hazlenuts
Pattinson ....Jhye is a chance if Patto's back is not up to it
Lyon

Dutchy as a second spin option

I like Dutchy but has had an injury interrupted season and bugger all form. I doubt he would be a factor in Pomville. Still if he is fit and dominates again in the Shield before the Squad is announced he is a chance.

Hackelwood was useless in the last Ashes tour and not a factor for twelve months. To my knowledge he has not bothered to play CC. He certainly has not learned new tricks, like moving the ball. Patto should go if he proves fitness in the Shield. Lets see how Jhye goes with the Duke, compared with Tremain who does get swing and seam.

Burns has diabolical technical deficiencies, as has gcspoc that rule them out. Mrs R has to show red ball form of massive significance before his selection could be considered.

Would rather KP2 or Sangha to Lasagna who strikes me as a fair Shield player but not much more.

Your comments re Wade and Maxwell are sensible, but I expect the NSP inc cbnlg would walk over hot coals than contemplate either. I would rather Carey play CC or league somewhere in Pomgolia to be ready as a reserve

skully wrote:Has there been any indication of the Ashes squad size?

Not to my knowledge Skulls.

Warner will go. He reinvented opening batting. Unfortunately he also invented sand papering the ball.

taipan wrote:Warner will go. He reinvented opening batting. Unfortunately he also invented sand papering the ball.

Just another cheat like Faff really.

Point is he cannot play in Pomgolia based on his record there.

skully wrote:Has there been any indication of the Ashes squad size?

expecting the standard 16

Nath wrote:

skully wrote:Has there been any indication of the Ashes squad size?

expecting the well below standard 16

Fixed.

Admittedly after the first session on day one the pitch reverted to the Bellerive autobahn we all know. And yes, the Lankans do not have a great attack, however KP2's two unbeaten tons were undeniably full of merit and comprised the individual Oz batting performance of the summer.

In a year where few Oz batsmen have shone in first class cricket beyond the odd glimmer, KP2's effort is a stand-out. 

Where does this put him in the running for a place on the Ashes tour? Earlier I noted if he missed a spot he should be directed to get a cc gig. Maybe the gnome and colleagues on the NSP have the pencil now poised.

On another topic I see cbnlg has talked up the Oz performance in the jamodi series v the Bannies. So far he has coached Oz teams through 6 losing series across the different forms (inc two Test series). 

He will be desperate to get a draw or win in the two Tests v the Lankans. The media driven stardust on his appointment has faded with even the craven media pointing to deficiencies in his approach. Another fail against a very poor Lankan Test side will be another powerful argument for his removal.

Beyond the weaknesses of his good ole boy approach and character which has seen the Renshaw bullying episode and the lies to Maxwell, there is the question of his outright stupidity in style, selection and the role of players.

Style - during the MCG debacle, Hick came on the air and said the brains trust did not rate Pujara and how they wanted Oz batsmen to get on with the game in a more positive manner.

Selection - Fink as an opener against the red ball, the Bane of Nepotism Brothers, exile of Renshaw in UAE, selection of Stanlake, ignoring form in the Shield.

I wonder if he is on borrowed time. Based on performance to date, would successive fails against the Lankans, in the WC and against the Poms be enough to have him sacked?

Finch averaged 45 against Pakistan in the UAE. He got a 50 in Perth which set up the win. They wanted someone who could replace Warner's quick scoring at the top of the order. Finch does that in the national white ball teams. He also added leadership to a team missing two senior players.

The Marsh brothers were well established in the Oz team before NLWL took over. They both had great series with the bat last summer vs the Poms. In a side missing three batsman it didnt make sense to drop two more . Their continued failures at Test level are a national tragedy.
For some reason CA endorsed Marsh and Hazlewood as vice captains. (Perhaps they were thinking of the poisoned chalice it used to be when AB was captain). But it shows the love of the Marshes runs far deeper then JL

The Renshaw story doesn't ring true. The "official" story seems more likely.No one else is leaking the story that Renshaw was treated harshly.
199 shield runs at 19.9 on return probably means he would have done worse than Finch

Stanlake was playing JAMODI before NLWL took over
He is made of glass so hasnt played much FC cricket (bowling average of 21 from 2 games)
Who wouldnt want a 204 cm fast bowler who can bowl 150 kmh to play for them

Harris and Pucovski are selected on Shield form
Shaun Marsh is in superb shield form
Jhye Richardson is 3rd on the bowling list

We havent won a JAMODI series for two years ...we have rarely played a full strength team in that time (rotations injury and suspensions) ...it's hard to tell what is going on and if the team can challenge in the gilly

Wow. That is a remarkable construction on events Embee.

McDonald knows Fink is not a red ball opener. Yes he was adequate in UAE on wickets that were brown, flat and offered little to quicks. Yes he made an important 50 in Perth but otherwise never looked the part.

cbnlg was a regular carnival barker in the media for the selection of the Bane Brothers in Tests when he was the Warp coach. cbnlg made Hollow Man captain of the Warp State teams.

You said,


They both had great series with the bat last summer vs the Poms. In a side missing three batsman it didnt make sense to drop two more . Their continued failures at Test level are a national tragedy. 


It was not their 'continued failures', but their continued selection that was a national tragedy. I emphasise was because I hope they are never even considered for future Test selection again.


Hollow Man made his only two tons in a 30+ Test career in that series on autobahns in Perth and Melbourne. The Poms were already toast when they got to Melbourne, if not Perth.


Yes Hollow Man was more or less stuck in the team by the time cbnlg took over. Why? 


At the end of the Saffie series he averaged 22. This was in fact boosted by a 90 odd in the First Test. He also  made a 40 odd. In the remaining 6 digs he was out for less than double figures.


cbnlg had touted Hollow Man as a future captain and would have been the key figure in making him co vice captain.


The Saffie tour confirmed for the umpteenth time that he is among the worst if not the worst Australian player to have ever been gifted 30 Tests. Yet he is off to UAE as co-vc.


You say they could not drop both brothers given three other batsmen were already missing. Well that worked well in UAE didn't it? Both Banes barely troubled the scorers in UAE. By the way Burns who was not the worst in SA when called up cold for T4 was not even in the UAE touring party.


Sense prevailed and HM was dumped for Adelaide, but at the first opportunity cbnlg brings him back for another massive fail on the MCG autobahn. I fear cbnlg is such a dropkick he will at some stage bring him back again.


I won't go into the older Bane, save to say I accept what you say about picking him when he 'is on'. However the NSP has kept picking him for Tests, like a pokie addict hoping for a jackpot. The bloke is 36 and averages 34.


Re Renshaw, the story came from Peter Lalor who is slavishly pro CA. He was there and saw and heard what happened. The story was not denied by Renshaw, Haddin or cbnlg. Renshaw had been in good form in CC, prior to UAE. I expect he came back to Oz without much confidence. I agree his Shield form was poor in late 2018.


Harris earned his spot and Puc has shown great promise in his short career to date. Agree Jyhe R has earned consideration with a good average in red ball cricket, albeit from just 11 matches. 

Did Lalor write the story or deliver it at a sportsman lunch?

embee wrote:Did Lalor write the story or deliver it at a sportsman lunch?

No, on ABC or SEN radio during coverage of one of the recent Tests. I heard him tell the story.

Think it was SEN, because iirc, Katich and Whately (both huge Langer fans) were on. Neither took Lalor on.

The Marsh selections have always been about selectors expectations

They didnt deliver . That is the tragedy

I keep saying it ....Shaun is technically the best batsman in Australia ...and mentally is an egg shell
That Shaun and the Oz support staff didnt make him a "50 plus average" is a tragedy.
and yes also a tragedy that he got as many chances as he did

Mitch Marsh is the Parable of the Butterfly story
Given an easy path so never developed the strengths to succeed
Always picked on potential
Has now been given so many chances he wont be able to recover

Got picked for Melbourne as bowling relief ...26 overs ...Stoinis was injured so there wasnt much other option

Mitch scored tons in the two FC before the Pak series
One for Oz A vs the BanIndian A team and one on the warm up game
and then got 150 in a shield game after Pakistan

Ah well Embee. Hope the two brothers get over the disappointment of their careers and move on to a happy life.

Agree about Bog having a good technique.

Assuming Seasick makes the tour and the Sandy brothers don't, Puc is still a chance of making the Tour. Still hoping Hughes and Wrench gigs ahead of Burns. Uber really needs to make some runs.

We are so screwed after Monty's ton and even worse after Embee has implied that Harris is the gnomes wrong side of the blanket relation.

Feet and their use are optional extras for Burns.

Not so for cbnlg who uses them to fill his gob.

After yesty and the whole summer, Ooze shouldn't be on the Ashes tour. Jimmeh will make mincemeat of him and his lazy cement feet.

Harris has shown plenty but delivered little. If he could follow DGB's advice to Neil Harvey in 1948 (don't hit the ferkin ball in the ferkin air, ya ferkin dozy vomit qunt) then he may be a superstar. Should tour.

I guess Monty locked in a tour yesty, so he should replace Ooze in the 15/16/17.

Shrapnel has done enough, particularly in showing he has the technique. Got a good'un yesty so unlucky.

Head has looked classy all summer without delivering a big one until yesty. A lock for the tour.

KP2 can lock it in today if he can convert his 25* into a big one.

Puck isn't mentally ready so give him time in Shield to get his head right.

Tweak and GCS (even tho none of us want him back) will probably return. The keeper is obvo Ima. The bowlers largely pick themselves. Stoinis will probably go as well (tho hasn't really earned it).

The Darsh Bros interminably long experiment should now be over.

So we have:

GCS
Ed
Monty
Tweak
Shrapnel
Blowie
KP2
Stoinis
Ima
2nd
Koo
Purple
Dallas
Elmer
A.Nother quick (Patto if fit) or spinner (Dutch)

If they wanna take a delevoping player as the 16th member - maybe h's suggestion of Sangha isn't bad.