Shane Watson

In his youth, he could bowl at high 80s mph - then he did the first of many hamstrings. He should still have had a better career as a batsman though. You're better off without him, but he's probably done enough to secure a berth to the old dart!

horace wrote:plus Healy and Haddin were/are keepers

exactly - hence the quotes around 'batsmen'

Basil wrote:In his youth, he could bowl at high 80s mph - then he did the first of many hamstrings. He should still have had a better career as a batsman though. You're better off without him, but he's probably done enough to secure a berth to the old dart!

Basil - you are a cruel man!

horace wrote:

Basil wrote:In his youth, he could bowl at high 80s mph - then he did the first of many hamstrings. He should still have had a better career as a batsman though. You're better off without him, but he's probably done enough to secure a berth to the old dart!

Basil - you are a cruel man!

It's ok, I hate to see a fine career go to waste.

http://www.smh.com.au/sport/cricket/what-oh-thats-watto-20150107-12joh1.html

Enjoyed this article on Watto yesterday.

Zat thought we might be interested in this

S.H.A.N.E: The Secretive Government Program That Almost Ruined Australian Cricket
Jan 7, 2015
By edmachine23
in Opinion
No Comments
S.H.A.N.E: The Secretive Government Program That Almost Ruined Australian Cricket
In the 1960′s, the Australian Government and the Australian Board of Control for International Cricket (now known as Cricket Australia) initiated a clandestine research project aimed at creating the ultimate Australian cricketer. However, several decades later, researchers pushed things too far, resulting in a Frankensteinian monster that would make Mary Shelley blush. TPA’s Ben Shine reports.

* * * * * *

Since the 1950s, Australia has longed for an all-rounder who can do it all. A man who possesses the ability to not only win a cricket match with both the bat and the ball, but who also embodies our nation’s values and attitudes.

“The idea of an all-rounder is, in essence, a romantic one. A swashbuckling hero who can take the game away from the opposition in the space of a few overs, or “turn a game” with just a few deliveries.”

- Edwards, David (2014)

Yet, despite repeated failed attempts, Australia has been without a comprehensive all-rounder since the days of Keith Miller and Alan Davidson.

So it was, that in the final days of the second Menzies Government, a concerted, cost-heavy effort was made to deliver Australia the all-round cricketer it so desperately craved.

The scars of Bodyline were still fresh
The scars of Bodyline were still fresh
An investigation by The Public Apology can reveal, for the first time ever, the existence of the Super Human All-rounders Nearing Excellence program – known otherwise by the acronym S.H.A.N.E.

Secretive in nature, it comprised a research team of seven of the nation’s brightest scientists. Over a period spanning three decades, a team of scientists within S.H.A.N.E used genetic engineering, selective breeding and experimental training methods to artificially produce a succession of cricketers designed to dominate in all aspects of the national game.

The covert program was met with some initial success, producing three prototype cricketers, each with their own qualities and deficiencies. However, its third creation was to be its last, and most spectacular failure.

* * * * * *

Perhaps it was a case of beginner’s luck, but S.H.A.N.E’s first prototype was the program’s greatest success. Originally named S.H.A.N.E 1.0, the creation was better known by the moniker, S.H.A.N.E Keith Warne.

Equipped with a marvellous cricketing brain – the result of speed-learning historic scorecards and cricketing strategies – ‘Shane’ Keith was also the greatest exponent of leg spin the world has ever seen.

CAPTION
S.H.A.N.E 1.0.: A classic example of Prometheian over-reach
However, S.H.A.N.E Keith Warne’s batting, while decent, did not qualify him as the elusive all-rounder the program sought to create. The balance was off: S.H.A.N.E 1.0 was destined to be the most talented and prolific leg-spinner ever, sure, but a ‘handy tail-ender’ at best.

Version 1.0 also contained several glaring flaws. These included, most notably, a penchant for baked beans, cigarettes and loose women. While these problems were not insurmountable, the scientists at S.H.A.N.E – ever the perfectionists – went back to the laboratory and set about tinkering with their formula.

Little were they to know that their tinkering would eventually produce a monster on par with Frankenstein.

* * * * * *

Initially, the second prototype produced by the team at S.H.A.N.E showed much promise. Incredibly talented with both bat and ball, Version 2.0, affectionately known as S.H.A.N.E Lee, seemed to possess the talent of 1.0., but without its dangerous predilections.

The scientists were hopeful. In the early stages, there were signs they may have produced the all-rounder they so desperately desired. A few centuries in grade cricket here, a couple five-for hauls at state levels – however, it was to prove a false dawn.

The initial optimism about S.H.A.N.E Lee soon made way when the protoype unexpectedly started exhibiting tendencies towards extra-curricular activities, which included playing lame, old man folk rock at downmarket licensed establishments.

S.H.A.N.E Lee’s interest manifested in the formation of ‘Six and Out’ – a band of mostly bit-part cricketers who dabbled with music on the side.

Caption
The 90′s hit-machine Taxi-Ride Six & Out
While originally brushed off as cute and ‘human’, this dabbling soon took precedence over cricket. Distracted by the trappings that came with the release of the mildly-popular single “Can’t Bowl, Can’t Throw”, Lee began to spend more time with bandmate Richard Chee Quee, exploring jazz-influenced chord progressions and harmonies: time that should’ve been spent working on his stroke play.

S.H.A.N.E Lee continued to play cricket at a high level, but it was clear his heart lay elsewhere: the Crows Nest Hotel on a Wednesday night.

* * * * * *

Disheartened, the scientists at S.H.A.N.E went back to the drawing board. They had come so close with their first two prototypes, and yet they were still so far from producing the perfect all-rounder.

They agreed to start from scratch with the third prototype, this time creating the ultimate athlete, unto whom they would drill the finer skills of cricket through intensive program of training and education.

S.H.A.N.E 3.0, or S.H.A.N.E Watson, was the outcome.

Blonde, athletic and with a rig befitting an Australian Iron Man, on paper Watson had it all. Fast-tracked into the Australian Test set-up from an early age, everything on the surface seemed perfect for S.H.A.N.E Watson.

Visually, it was a master-piece: the billions of dollars of secret government investment seemed to be well-spent. His muscular batting technique and serviceable seam bowling saw him ushered into the team initially as a all-rounder batting seven, then to the top of the order, and finally to the critical number three batting position, making this third iteration an indispensable pillar of the Australian line-up.

He was to represent all that was Australia: rigs, blonde hair and cricket.
He was to represent all that was Australia: rigs, blonde hair and cricket.
Yet all things considered, this third prototype was to prove the program’s biggest, and final blunder.

Whether through a fault in design, or a fault in nature, S.H.A.N.E Watson was almost hard-wired to disappoint. He seemed programmed to make a good start when batting, only to succumb to LBW while in his 30s.

Equally, whenever his seamers showed promise, he would break-down with a recurrent hamstring injury that, while preventing him from bowling, would not affect his selection in the Test side.

S.H.A.N.E Watson was destined to occupy a weird and cruel purgatory. An all-rounder who never excelled at either craft, yet one who was perennially selected on aesthetics alone. A sad metaphor for early 21st Century society.

* * * * * *

The fall-out over S.H.A.N.E 3.0 was fierce and it was swift. The program was quietly closed shortly after S.H.A.N.E Watson was felled, yet again, for 23 runs after playing at a loose ball outside of off-stump.

While the program was closed and the team of scientists dismissed, its impact can still be felt.

To this day, S.H.A.N.E Watson inexplicably remains in the Test side. A potent reminder that man should not try to play God in an attempt to master all aspects of cricket.

By Ben Shine

Red wrote:http://www.smh.com.au/sport/cricket/what-oh-thats-watto-20150107-12joh1.html

Enjoyed this article on Watto yesterday.

"He has spent 10 years middling the ball handsomely to fieldsmen."

Sums him up nicely.

FFS & FMD

"The multi-million dollar earning power of Australia's elite cricketers revealed

Whoever said there was no money in cricket needs to have a word with Shane Watson after it was today revealed the allrounder earned $4.5 million in 2014.

The Business Review Weekly Top 50 Sports Earners list has Watson as the highest-paid Australian cricketer and the eighth richest sportsperson in the country, edging out teammates Mitchell Johnson ($4.1m) in 10th and skipper Michael Clarke ($4m) in 11th.

Watson’s $2.2m contract with Indian Premier League side Rajasthan Royals comprises of almost half of his annual wages, and has reportedly been retained for the same wage for this season."

-------------------------------------------

All in favour of halving his salary by stripping him of a CA contract please say "aye".




































And yes, I realise this is a NTR after having now read the Triv thread.

Basil wrote:Shane Watson, batting at three next Summer. Lovely!

"tell 'im 'e's dreaming"

listened to nein commentary yesterday, simply to see how they would react to clottos sacking...Slats the little nob was almost in tears and Nicholas seemed disconsolate...only Taylor came out and said it was a good call based on form

Aye, Tubs' logic was good. Pick the preferred XI now for the run home. Ergo, the Twat had to go.

expect Tubby will have been given a good kicking by nein and the sponsors

Has Mitch Marsh done enough to keep Watson out of the next match?

Marsh's shadow has done enough....at least marsh takes the odd wicket and makes te odd run...watson does not make runs, does not take wickets and lumbers in the field. The Fink is as good at first slip.

I'm not asking you horrie, I'm wondering what our selectors will make of his latest performance ... may not have been enough to keep Watson, the default selection, out of the side. He's like that appalling old yellow cat that wouldn't leave home.

he was ok with the bat...tossed his wicket away on the last ball of the innings trying to get a zack...he did not pat it for a single but went the team thing...just as Gilly and most Oz cricketers have done....I imagine they will notice that.

I'm struggling to think of a player so widely and consistently ridiculed by his nation's own fans.

Shane Watson: Never in the field of human contempt has so much been earned of so many by so few.

that is pure gold Nath...only missing the pouting bottom lip button and the patented, "I should open/bat at 3/bat at 6/not be overbowled" switch

horace wrote:the pouting bottom lip button

there is no switch as there is no alternate position

quote from Dan Brettig, assistant editor at ESPNcricinfo. @danbrettig:

>>>

When Shane Watson was last left out of an Australian team for reasons other than injury or rest, he gave an impromptu press conference. It was in the lobby of the JW Marriott hotel in Chandigarh following the announcement that he, alongside three other players, had been suspended for supposed disciplinary infractions. The touring correspondents had been alerted to Watson's intention to leave by spotting his bags in the lobby, and when he came down from his room, it was clad not in training gear but the suit of an Australian cricketer making an international flight. Watson was not only out of the team but leaving the tour to go home for the birth of his son, Will. He was also exceptionally angry at his treatment, and stated bluntly that he was thinking of quitting altogether.

"Any time you are suspended from a Test match, unless you have done something unbelievably wrong and obviously everyone knows what those rules are - I think it is very harsh," he said. "In the end I have got to live with it. That is the decision they have made and at this point in time I am at a stage where I have to weigh up my future with what I want to do with my cricket in general".

"I am going to spend the next few weeks with my family and weigh up my options as to exactly which direction I want to go or keep on. I am going to have to sit down and work that out with my family. There are a lot more important things in life. I do love playing cricket and that passion is still there and I feel I am in the prime years of my cricket career."

Two years later, Watson may no longer be in his prime, and his acceptance of omission from the Australian ODI XI midway through their World Cup pool matches stood in stark contrast to those wounded words at the Marriott. As with India, Watson found himself bailed up by the media on his way to travel - this time from Perth back to his home base in Sydney and Australia's next match against Sri Lanka. This time, however, the words were very different, and so was the tone. Watson knows he has simply run out of chances. The most recent was a damaging dismissal against New Zealand at Eden Park once set, that ushered a hectic collapse to more or less hand the match to the hosts. There was a ruefulness to Watson's words, but also an acknowledgment of a fair if hurtful outcome.

"Of course, it's always disappointing to get dropped," Watson said. "[The selectors] talked to me more than me talking to them, it's just the way it goes. I haven't scored enough runs, as simple as it is. In the end all I can do is make sure I'm ready to go if an opportunity arises, but I know I haven't scored enough runs so I've only got myself to blame".

"I made adjustments even before I got dropped to improve and give myself the best chance of performing, so I'm always trying to get better and learn and it's all I can do. I believe in myself and my own ability, so if an opportunity comes along I'll be ready to go. I know I've had plenty of opportunities so I've only got myself to blame."

In 2013, Watson did not feel this way, railing at the management of the team and its judgment that summary dismissal of players was going to help bind together a group that had grown increasingly fractured. His ire was to be raised again in England, and his protest at the way the team was developing would lead indirectly to David Warner's suspension and Mickey Arthur's sacking.

Watson was content that he stood up for what he believed in, and during the summer of 2013-14 he was able to bask in the success of an Ashes victory. But time has marched on, and Watson has failed to back up his conviction about the way a happy and winning team team must be forged by scoring the requisite runs to keep him in it.

At the same time, others have emerged to challenge him, most notably Mitchell Marsh as an allrounder and Steven Smith as a top-order batsman. The tailing off in his run-making across all formats has also appeared to effect Watson's former posture as an aggressive, even intimidating presence. Power and stroke range are Watson's best weapons, but in his efforts to eradicate technical kinks he has appeared to take on a more circumspect outlook that has allowed bowlers to work away at his foibles without fear of quite the same retribution.

Equally, Watson's tendency for the odd hare-brained moment or choice of shot has remained, meaning where once he was often cursed for getting out soon after passing 50 or when nearing 100, now his ledger is punctuated by ineffectual 20s and 30s. Marsh and James Faulkner can be expected to make such scores, and both have the youth and potential to go on from them more regularly.

None of this, it now seems, has been to do with the environment in which he finds himself, rather the passing of time and Watson's inability to match up to the performances of what can now be recognised as his peak period, from 2009 to 2011. Watson knows he has had every chance in a team set-up he played a significant part in engineering, but has fallen short. That is why the words he uttered at Perth airport on Thursday bore so little resemblance to those of Chandigarh 2013.


<<<

Nath wrote:

lardbucket wrote:

horace wrote:the pouting bottom lip button

there is no switch as there is no alternate position

That's some Aussie flavoured Forum Gold right there.

In the dictionary under:

Potential: Noun. Latent qualities or abilities that may be developed and lead to future success or usefulness;
~Unrealised...

...there will be a picture of Shane Watson (see also Sook)

Twat clearly used to swallow for Drunky

"Three-time World Cup winner Ricky Ponting says the axing of Shane Watson leaves Australia's batting line-up dangerously exposed heading into the business end of this World Cup.
...
"Deep down he knows he is good enough and the selectors do too," Ponting wrote of Watson.

"I hope he gets a chance to prove it and I bet he is spending a lot of time in the nets at the moment. People don’t realise how determined Watto is."

------------------------------

Get off the ganja, Ricky, FFS.