England v Sri Lanka, 1st ODI, The Oval, June 28

I can't remember anyone thinking Dalrymple was anything other than Lord of the Gash.

Unless it was Merlo, with his Middlesexian bum-chummery.

Merlin, JKL, one or two others. It was a shambles, sort of like that Pet Shop Boys song 'Scandal', just old Tennant whimsically singing 'shambles' instead, with old Dusty Springfield in the background warbling the same. Disastrous.

This was the time I was seriously pushing Swann's case, due to the fact he'd taken wickets at a decent average whilst bowling with economy - the criteria was groundbreaking. Never heard of before. It was all about blowjobs. Swann's just not good at blowjobs. I'd posit his chin gets in the way.

Not to mention he has too many teeth for the size of his gob. It'd be like getting mouth raped by a shark. And not in a good way.

Yeah, not good. Nicht gut, as Craig Meschede would probably say. Still, we don't have to worry anymore. Flower seems to like handjobs, so Swann's in. Unforch so are a few others......

Remember when Dalrymple looked like getting a Test debut on the Ashes tour? Dear oh dear, those were the days.

Chivalry Augustus wrote:Remember when Dalrymple looked like getting a Test debut on the Ashes tour? Dear oh dear, those were the days.

Yep, hands up.
My thinking was our tail was such utter gash with Saj at 8 and him not bowling many overs that it would be worth a go. Obviously I'd overlooked the fact it would just be adding more gash...

Tbh, JK, I think I was all for it at the time. But I should justify my opinion - it was, as you suggested, because our team and in particular our tail was w@nk. I had as much faith in Dalrymple to get wickets as in Saj, Anderson, whoever, and as much faith in him to score runs as basically everyone else. If you took me back to that same time, even with the benefit of hindsight, I would still pick Dalrymple over some of the players in that team.

Limpdicked tossers. As astute a judgement as sticking your dick into whirring aeroplane propellers. Oh well

They were dark days, and Gus reasoning is sound.

May the lord have mercy upon our souls...

The bloke has always been vanilla. He'd have bored out the place with his 2-80 off 20 overs. Hardly a reasoning for picking him. I'd have preferred IDK Salisbury FFS.

Chivalry Augustus wrote:Cook
Knobwetter
Trott
Pietersen
Morgan
Bell
Bresnan
Broad
Swann
Anderson
Dernbach

All the favourites, basically.

Told you so. Hopefully they do get knobbed because that team has no hope of ever achieving anything in this form of the game. It's basically the Test team plus Dernbach and Kieswetter. "We won't make major changes." No, you won't make any. Great plans, selectors. You're really getting the hang of this one-day business. We've only got three crabs in the top six. We've only got three bowlers out of five who aren't capable of playing this form of the game.

Aye.

SL win toss and field.

Here comes the scrape to 230 followed by the lankans knocking it off in 35 overs....

I'm not sure though. Isn't this about the right time for the false dawn stage of English ODI cricket, where we win a few games against a good side, decide everything is alright, stick with the same team for the next four years with ever diminishing returns, then lose to Denmark and Panama's Women as we crash out of the World Cup?

Meh, I've always believed that good test batsmen can make a successful transition to the shorter formats. The theory sort of gets shaky when it comes to bowlers, but that batting line-up is good.

sh!t! If I knew this here was gon' be THAT kinda party, I'd have stuck my dick in the mashed potato

Urgh. Go home Sri Lanka. And take this f*cking rain with you.

Got to blame the Kia Woeval for buying into the Welsh weather.

Start in 5 mins, no loss of overs.

My call... Cook to nibble to first slip in the first over.

Ah well, the pinchhitter is gone now Bedwetter can block his way to 50

Good captain's knock, that.

I predict a wild slog from Kieswetter anytime soon.

Fark me, its 2pm and it looks like the middle of the night out there in London

I thought there was a heat wave on.

33 and cracking the pavement yesterday. Think this is the payback.

Back to the match - think we're a batsman light. Bres at 7?