England v India, 2nd Test, Trent Bridge, 29 Jul-2 Aug, 2011

Dello wrote:
I GAVE HIM HIS DUES, YOU CLEFT!!!!

Poor dues. Begrudging dues. Not really even what one would call valid dues. You're a mess. You're giving Sreesanth props (5 wickets @ 42.4) and you're being miserly in your Bres-props (7 wickets @ 13.71). What is going on?

Dello wrote:
I DUED ALL OVER HIS CREAMY MAN BOOBS LIKE A SPLIT GARDEN HOSE!!! HOW MUCH MORE DUE CAN I DO!!!???

MAN BOOBS? MAN BOOBS? He's hench. Whatever weight problems he had has been moulded into pure hench granite!

Brass Monkey wrote:

PeterCS wrote:Can Brezzy Lad be dropped after this phenomenal performance with bat and ball?

You blatantly know they'll drop Morgan and play 5 bowlers on the strength of this tail performance (they'll forget the incredibly weak top order batting the preceeded it)

Although, to be fair, Bresnan's got a better batting average than Morgan, so there's logic in that there thinking. Even if it's wrong.

See me giving him his DUES? See it?

Magisterial Impartiality in running a sports forum.

EDIT: This in reply to the post three above.

Brass Monkey wrote:

Dello wrote:
I DUED ALL OVER HIS CREAMY MAN BOOBS LIKE A SPLIT GARDEN HOSE!!! HOW MUCH MORE DUE CAN I DO!!!???

MAN BOOBS? MAN BOOBS? He's hench. Whatever weight problems he had have been moulded into pure hench sexualness!

Hench like Dawn French.

Once a fat lad, always a fat lad. That's the rules. I don't make the rules. That's just how the rules work.

Take it up with the rules.

Dello wrote:
Although, to be fair, Bresnan's got a better batting average than Morgan, so there's logic in that there thinking. Even if it's wrong.

See me giving him his DUES? See it?

WAY too blithe and glib. I've lost all faith in you as a person. What have you become?

It's like a bar mitzvah wankfest in here these days.
I'm off for some chopped and fried..

He has become brutally embittered since he was usurped by that Gallic rooster Fromage.

Brass Monkey wrote:

Allan D wrote:
Very much doubt it - only 2 draws needed after this match for England to go top of the Test rankings. Bopara will replace Trott though he will bat at 6 with Bell staying at 3.

Gadzooks! I'd prefer Bresnan. He's a better batsman for a start.

You know who's fit and playing again and would look bloody handsome at number six and turning his arm over here and there: Benjamin of Stokes.

Too soon? Maybe. But given that England's batting goes to 10 and India's bowling has as much cutting edge as a sponge cake, is it so crazy...?

It'll be Flopara, obviously, but that doesn't make it right.

Dello wrote:
Hench like Dawn French.

Once a fat lad, always a fat lad. That's the rules. I don't make the rules. That's just how the rules work.

Take it up with the rules.

You're like 'Just Jack' off of Will & Grace. Incredibly shallow. Incredible!

Sreesanth = no fat on him = sex = 5 wickets @ 42.4

Bresnan = not much fat on him = non-sex = 7 wickets @ 13.71.

I see how you work. I see what the game's all about now. I didn't pick it. I just didn't. But there we go.

Dello wrote:

Brass Monkey wrote:

Allan D wrote:
Very much doubt it - only 2 draws needed after this match for England to go top of the Test rankings. Bopara will replace Trott though he will bat at 6 with Bell staying at 3.

Gadzooks! I'd prefer Bresnan. He's a better batsman for a start.

You know who's fit and playing again and would look bloody handsome at number six and turning his arm over here and there: Benjamin of Stokes.

Too soon? Maybe. But given that England's batting goes to 10 and India's bowling has as much cutting edge as a sponge cake, is it so crazy...?

It'll be Flopara, obviously, but that doesn't make it right.

Ah no, scratch that - I've just read on, and Mudge has called it for the Durham Adonis.

I withdraw my support henceforth.

Dello. Following trends set by Mudge since 2011.

Dello wrote:
Ah no, scratch that - I've just read on, and Mudge has called it for the Durham Adonis.

I withdraw my support henceforth.

He may do OK then, Ben Stokes, if you're withdrawing your support:

Sreesanth = Dello support = a failure.

Bresnan = Dello loathing = a success.

As for the game, well played Broady & Bres. Still grates on me that Sturat didn't have the nous to realise on his own he was bowling short dross too much but I think it's finally clicked. And his batting (like Bres) is so useful.

Bres, what can you say? Doesn't look much but always does a job. Englands Bichel? Almost makes you want to be a Yorkshireman, run naked up Ilkley Moor bake a loaf of Hovis and offer it to the gods....

Brass Monkey wrote:

Dello wrote:
I GAVE HIM HIS DUES, YOU CLEFT!!!!

Poor dues. Begrudging dues. Not really even what one would call valid dues. You're a mess. You're giving Sreesanth props (5 wickets @ 42.4) and you're being miserly in your Bres-props (7 wickets @ 13.71). What is going on?

Whoah now. Wait a minute. I scatter props like confetti. You can have your props. They don't cost me anything. They're just old Chinese newspapers shredded into flakes. Props away.

I'd never dream of giving an England player props. It's dues for the good guys. And I gave dues from my own personal due collection to Bresnan.

Let's not rewrite history. I'm a generous due.

JKLever wrote:As for the game, well played Broady & Bres. Still grates on me that Sturat didn't have the nous to realise on his own he was bowling short dross too much but I think it's finally clicked. And his batting (like Bres) is so useful.

Bres, what can you say? Doesn't look much but always does a job. Englands Bichel? Almost makes you want to be a Yorkshireman, run naked up Ilkley Moor bake a loaf of Hovis and offer it to the gods....

Brew a pint of Tetley's as well please while you're at it.

And now we're on Ilkley Moor. I don't know whether to chop my forsk off or shag my whippet.

Brass Monkey wrote:

Dello wrote:
Hench like Dawn French.

Once a fat lad, always a fat lad. That's the rules. I don't make the rules. That's just how the rules work.

Take it up with the rules.

You're like 'Just Jack' off of Will & Grace. Incredibly shallow. Incredible!

Not so shallow that I A) watch Will & Grace and B) know what any of the characters in Will & Grace are called.

You have disgraced yourself right there. I couldn't even read the rest of your post, so disgusted was I with your opening gambit. I assume it wasn't any facts or statistics that undermine my position as the forum's cricketing authority.

Brass Monkey wrote:

Dello wrote:
Ah no, scratch that - I've just read on, and Mudge has called it for the Durham Adonis.

I withdraw my support henceforth.

He may do OK then, Ben Stokes, if you're withdrawing your support:

Sreesanth = Dello support = a failure.

Bresnan = Dello loathing = a success.

You know, I've not played the Broad card at all, in spite of Acing it to the max last week. His success was reward enough for me. I don't need your validation.

Nor do I expect it. You'll be too busy giving your dues to any old fat lad that wafts a bap in your vague direction.

Dello wrote:
Not so shallow that I A) watch Will & Grace and B) know what any of the characters in Will & Grace are called.

You have disgraced yourself right there. I couldn't even read the rest of your post, so disgusted was I with your opening gambit. I assume it wasn't any facts or statistics that undermine my position as the forum's cricketing authority.

I thought it was a long shot. I was just going to say 'as shallow as a gay person' but not all gay people are shallow and hence it would've been a bit of a bigotted generalisation. To be fair, I've only seen Will & Grace 42.4 times and it probably only took up less than 13.71 hours of my life.

Dello wrote:
You know, I've not played the Broad card at all, in spite of Acing it to the max last week. His success was reward enough for me. I don't need your validation.

Nor do I expect it. You'll be too busy giving your dues to any old fat lad that wafts a bap in your vague direction.

Here, have half a due for that. At the time, I played the Broad card for you. I played it hard, against myself. But then, who knows how many Bressy Lad would've taken at Lord's. You certainly don't.

JKLever wrote:As for the game, well played Broady & Bres. Still grates on me that Sturat didn't have the nous to realise on his own he was bowling short dross too much but I think it's finally clicked. And his batting (like Bres) is so useful.

Bres, what can you say? Doesn't look much but always does a job. Englands Bichel? Almost makes you want to be a Yorkshireman, run naked up Ilkley Moor bake a loaf of Hovis and offer it to the gods....

He can't go back, Broad. Surely he's "got it' now. Surely?

Worthy MoM. Bit unlucky to only get two wickets in the second innings.

Bresnan, to give him his due, never lets anyone down. Batting's a bonus. Slip catching, not so much.

Dello wrote:

JKLever wrote:Still grates on me that Sturat didn't have the nous to realise on his own he was bowling short dross too much

He can't go back, Broad. Surely he's "got it' now. Surely?

Did youse both see the post-match interviews? IMO Broad looked pretty incensed that Nasser had brought his gashitude up. He's a total nob.

Brass Monkey wrote:

Dello wrote:
Not so shallow that I A) watch Will & Grace and B) know what any of the characters in Will & Grace are called.

You have disgraced yourself right there. I couldn't even read the rest of your post, so disgusted was I with your opening gambit. I assume it wasn't any facts or statistics that undermine my position as the forum's cricketing authority.

I thought it was a long shot. I was just going to say 'as shallow as a gay person' but not all gay people are shallow and hence it would've been a bit of a bigotted generalisation. To be fair, I've only seen Will & Grace 42.4 times and it probably only took up less than 13.71 hours of my life.

Nice backtrack, Michael Jackson. Doing the Moonwalk. Backwards, like it should be done.

Yeah, that's a zinger...

Dello wrote:
Nice backtrack, Michael Jackson. Doing the Moonwalk. Backwards, like it should be done.

Yeah, that's a zinger...

Schmeesh. I'm comfortable with it all. I even got your pick's average per wicket in there