Saker's off to coach Melbourne Retrogrades or something.

Thanks for ruining every single bowler you came into contact with, Dave.

Honestly, not a single England player improved during his tenure. Not one.

Wonder who the ECB will tout as the "bowling coach of his generation" to replace him as dobber doctor extraordinaire.

Couple of obvious choices but they won't get the gig.

The positives are emerging.

Kevin Shine?

Or further back, to Troy Cooley?

They genuinely could do a lot worse than look to Dazzler. Whatever he's been doing in the last 10 years. Even if he's been pissed in an alley and eating 10 burgers a day, he understands a lot better than most the techniques, the slog and unremitting determination, and the practical ins and outs to do with the psychology of bowling.

Ah, so Dave the Slacker's f**ked back off to Oz.
Prick.
Best place for him ... "nurturing" horrie's bunch of dibbley dobblers.

Can't say I'm sad to see Saker go. TBF, he didn't ever take the credit when the bowlers were doing well, but it has gone stale. Some have suggested that, as a bowler, he had more miles in the tank but bowled within himself and has coaxed our bowlers into doing the same. I'm suggesting that such a suggestion is a sack of shit and that such dobbing complacence is rife within the county bowling circuit.

Meanwhile....

"Downton will meet the ECB's new chief executive, Tom Harrison, on Tuesday with some Lord's insiders suggesting his job is on the line.

The head selector, James Whitaker, and coach, Peter Moores, are also expected to attend meetings in the week, though their positions are not understood to be in such jeopardy."

Oh no... not Paul Downton. What did he do? F*ck off 'Shabby'.

James Chocolate is head selector - if anyone's job should be on the line, it should be his. What has he ever done to justify his role? From what I can remember, the selections have gotten forever worse since he's taken a more senior role. F*ck off Choccywoccydoodah.

When Moores was first appointed, I thought 'Great - anyone but Ashley'. Now I'm thinking that I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour. Smashing bloke now though, Moores, apparently. F*ck off Peter.

No-one English, please. Certainly no-one from within the current set-up - Kevin Shine, I'm looking at you.

I heard Brett Lee talking about fast bowling, during a commentary stint the other day, and I was struck by how his thinking (as someone who was consistently fast throughout his career) was totally the opposite of how England "nurtures" its bowlers.

The key mechanics, sayeth Bretteth, are the run up and snapping that front arm through like a mother lover. Bulking up in the gym, "strength and conditioning" is bullshit, loses you pace. All your work should be focussed around running and "snapping".

Chris Jordan and Steve Finn don't even have a run up. Finn and Stuart Broad don't use their front arm at all. But, hey, they've all been strengthened and conditioned to buggery, so that's good.

It'd be nice if the ECB appointed someone who knew owt about fast bowling as their fast bowling coach. I assume Dennis Lillee is pretty much retired these days?

Brass Monkey wrote:

"Downton will meet the ECB's new chief executive, Tom Harrison, on Tuesday with some Lord's insiders suggesting his job is on the line.

The head selector, James Whitaker, and coach, Peter Moores, are also expected to attend meetings in the week, though their positions are not understood to be in such jeopardy."

Oh no... not Paul Downton. What did he do? F*ck off 'Shabby'.

James Chocolate is head selector - if anyone's job should be on the line, it should be his. What has he ever done to justify his role? From what I can remember, the selections have gotten forever worse since he's taken a more senior role. F*ck off Choccywoccydoodah.

When Moores was first appointed, I thought 'Great - anyone but Ashley'. Now I'm thinking that I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour. Smashing bloke now though, Moores, apparently. F*ck off Peter.

Downton, Whitaker and Moores - could a trio of names fill one with less confidence?

The chocolatier should've been sacked after his very first public interview, trying to justify the Pietersen debacle with wild-eyed, stammering, sweating gobbledegook. If ever a guy was obviously miles out of his depth.

What an embarrassment.

Manoj Prabhakar is available.

We just need people who are not English or products of the English system... people who will encourage individuality, leadership and innovation among players, and produce the folk heroes the new chairman aspires to having - the big-hitting batsmen, genuine fast bowlers, charismatic all-rounders, steely and inventive captains, and mystery spinners. Well, perhaps not the last one, that's really un-English... but just something to replace the mass of cloned orthodox batsmen and medium pace bowlers that have generally defined English cricket for decades with few exceptions.

Dello wrote:
Downton, Whitaker and Moores - could a trio of names fill one with less confidence?
 

Don't forget Clarke, we haven't got rid of him yet. They're busy creating a new role for him as 'President of the ECB'.

One of today's papers reckons that Ottis Gibson will get the gig for the Windies' tour. Well, why not, if we can resurrect Moores.........................

What about Dracula then?

PeterCS wrote:What about Dracula then?

What's his knowledge of biomechanics like?

He's good on the "snap" and the "bite".

Basil wrote:One of today's papers reckons that Ottis Gibson will get the gig for the Windies' tour. Well, why not, if we can resurrect Moores.........................

If it's going to be 2008 again, we've still got time to warn Michael Jackson to take it easy on the painkillers.

And stop touching those kids, of course.

PeterCS wrote:What about Dracula then?

Sunlight kills him.

So he'd only be able to work up North.

Let's just not get a bowling coach. See how that works. Let them just go out there and bowl, without a million thoughts and instructions going through their head as they're running in.

A million thoughts?

"Short, short, short" is one thought.

Henry wrote:Let's just not get a bowling coach. See how that works. Let them just go out there and bowl, without a million thoughts and instructions going through their head as they're running in.

You're talking about a group of bowlers that make Merv Hughes look like Aristotle in comparison. If they were capable of thinking for themselves then Stuart Broad would replicate the way he's bowled when he's been successful, and not do as he's done for for most of his career, bowl the complete opposite.

Line and length, pitch up bowler, it works for him. Half trackers don't.

Under Andy Flower, England went gradually from pitching it up and looking for wickets, to bowling just short of a length, and looking to dry up runs. James Anderson is a classic example. Outside of England he's been awful for the last couple of years, because he doesn't pitch it up anymore. Bowls back of a length at 82mph, and he's basically fodder.

To be honest, England have bowled too short for as long as I can remember.

Dello wrote:A million thoughts?

"Short, short, short" is one thought.

They have at least four thoughts - short, other people's fielding, haircuts, twitter

I'm with Pedro - Bobby Dazzler. He coached Isa Guha into the England set-up, so he's got my vote.

If memory is not playing me tricks, he was also a decent death bowler?

As was Dracula?