Should Eng keep or dump Stuart Broad?

How can he rape your face from behind?

What? Where does it say he'll rape your face from behind? What points I can draw from my post is that he's behind you and he intends to rape your face. People can turn around you know. In fact, watch a few horror films and get back to me.

Anyway, are you looking for techniques? Work them out for yourself, gain some experience. You aren't going to get the perfect face-rape on the first go. I'd imagine.

Sorry, I'm not familiar with face-raping etiquette.

Bum-raping - I'm a well-lubed font of knowledge. Faces, not so much.

It's like bum-raping, only with a toothy obstacle. Best to try and get rid of them, somehow. Think horrory. You'll pick it up in no time.

Get f*cked, horrory.

Walked straight into that one, I suppose...

seriously. It made me snigger. Henry's post made me grin, with Gordoninjail, but yours actually made me laugh. It's rare, so I had to share. It rhymed, so I...let you know this time(d).

Don't think GiP ever really liked this forum, posted a lot more in the C4 days but turned up here from time to time in the early(ish) days. Seems to have popped up on various other cricket forums/blogs over the years.

Yorkie Jill wrote:seriously. It made me snigger. Henry's post made me grin, with Gordoninjail, but yours actually made me laugh. It's rare, so I had to share. It rhymed, so I...let you know this time(d).

Ah, my forum's work is done. I can retire a satisfied man

ok, no more compliments. i'll keep my laughs to myself. I only hope you don't get raped in the face by someone called Gordon. Unless you'd like to be.

Yorkie Jill wrote:ok, no more compliments. i'll keep my laughs to myself. I only hope you don't get raped in the face by someone called Gordon. Unless you'd like to be.

You could've lobbed a '' or '' in there. But I liked the personal touch. Sort of a:

'hmm, yes yes, from a humour stancepoint, I appraise this as being somewhat fitting'

so not enough emoticons, but also not enough formality? hmm.

sod it, i'm going in the pool.

Yorkie Jill wrote:so not enough emoticons, but also not enough formality? hmm.

sod it, i'm going in the pool.

Aye was apeing you!

Yeah, I'm uhh going in my pool too.

daft h'aporth.

s'not MY pool, izzit?

Well, who knows Jill, I'm not your financier or your itinerist! You could be Posh Beckham, for all I know

Aye, could be. That would be awful. Having to hide your Yorkshire roots because they didn't want a Yorkie Spice in the group, and then hiding your love of cricket, because it's not 'right' and you're too damn skinny to play.

But I'm not. Fortunately. I can't even think of any Canadian wags, and even then, I'm sure they're not A-list, even in Canada.

Yorkie Jill wrote:
But I'm not. Fortunately. I can't even think of any Canadian wags, and even then, I'm sure they're not A-list, even in Canada.

I can't even think of any Canadians to be a wag for!

'zactly. I get my kicks elsewhere here.

Yorkie Jill wrote:Aye, could be. That would be awful. Having to hide your Yorkshire roots because they didn't want a Yorkie Spice in the group, and then hiding your love of cricket, because it's not 'right' and you're too damn skinny to play.

Wait a minute. Wasn't Scary Spice a Yorkie? I know you all look and sound the same, but I vaguely recall them having a Northern one that wasn't the the shrill scouse hatchet-face.

You didn't get in the group because your zig-a-zig-ah was a travesty - don't be playing the race card.

Ah yes. She's from Leeds innit. Like...where I live when I'm in Engurland. My VERY bad.

Um, I did get in the group, I just had to pretend to be posh and thick. Anyway, why wasn't there an Asian spice?

Or an Old Spice.

Well quite. Or a disabled Spice. there could easily have been 8, like in, um, Blazin' Squad. Spice Squad. I bet Stuart Broad would like where the thread has gone.

Yorkie Jill wrote:Well quite. Or a disabled Spice. there could easily have been 8, like in, um, Blazin' Squad. Spice Squad. I bet Stuart Broad would like where the thread has gone.

Oh yeah, had forgotten about Pretty, But Kinda Petulant Spice

He's pretty, in a kind of vacant way. Well, some people think so.

Pretty petulant Spice was probably all of the band members, depending on your taste.