Re: New Zealand v England, 2nd Test, Wellington, 14-18 March, 2013

by Brass Monkey Sat 16 Mar 2013, 08:01

Dello wrote:
Although maybe we should've: Jimmy was bowling at 76mph in that final session and looks finished.

Oh, who am I kidding - I just want to give them all cuddles, all the time.

Oh come on... Jimbo has hardly bowled. He's basically bowled 90 overs this year... 89.5 overs in 3.5 months.... wwwwwwhooooaaaaaaaaaaa

'Too much' can't be blamed for any dobbery.

by Brass Monkey Sat 16 Mar 2013, 08:03

Dello wrote:
It's the one time in every four years "the most intelligent bowler I've ever worked with" (MP Vaughan) remembers that ALL of his success in cricket has come from pitching the ball up and trying to hit the top of off stump.

Like a shit remake of Memento, he'll have forgotten all of this in the morning.

It's alright, Dello, don't worry. THIS time, I've tattooed 'PITCH IT UP' to the small of Jimmy's back.

by LeFromage Sat 16 Mar 2013, 08:04

Brass Monkey wrote:
Dello wrote:
Although maybe we should've: Jimmy was bowling at 76mph in that final session and looks finished.

Oh, who am I kidding - I just want to give them all cuddles, all the time.

Oh come on... Jimbo has hardly bowled. He's basically bowled 90 overs this year... 89.5 overs in 3.5 months.... wwwwwwhooooaaaaaaaaaaa

'Too much' can't be blamed for any dobbery.

Then he's broken. Poor Jimmy. Should've been cuddled more.

by Brass Monkey Sat 16 Mar 2013, 08:10

Dello wrote:
Then he's broken. Poor Jimmy. Should've been cuddled more.

OR maybe you shouldn't have given him a note?

by LeFromage Sat 16 Mar 2013, 08:15

Brass Monkey wrote:
Dello wrote:
It's the one time in every four years "the most intelligent bowler I've ever worked with" (MP Vaughan) remembers that ALL of his success in cricket has come from pitching the ball up and trying to hit the top of off stump.

Like a shit remake of Memento, he'll have forgotten all of this in the morning.

It's alright, Dello, don't worry. THIS time, I've tattooed 'PITCH IT UP' to the small of Jimmy's back.

In Stuart Broad's brain: "Pitch i O t up? What can it mean? Sh O rt..?

by LeFromage Sat 16 Mar 2013, 08:17

Brass Monkey wrote:
Dello wrote:
Then he's broken. Poor Jimmy. Should've been cuddled more.

OR maybe you shouldn't have given him a note?

Should've got a note from his mum, excusing him from all the heavy lifting he's had to do lately as every other bowler in the whole of England is a cack addict.

by Brass Monkey Sat 16 Mar 2013, 08:18

Dello wrote:
In Stuart Broad's brain: "Pitch i O t up? What can it mean? Sh O rt..?

**sharp intake of breath**

**grimace**

This is the textual version of being chained to a radiator and listening to an entire Taylor Swift album. .

by Brass Monkey Sat 16 Mar 2013, 08:19

Dello wrote:
Should've got a note from his mum, excusing him from all the heavy lifting he's had to do lately as every other bowler in the whole of England is a cack addict.

Scmeavy lifting.

by LeFromage Sat 16 Mar 2013, 08:33

Steve Finn's a whole load of nothing. Tricks us all into thinking he's got knees of bees with some decent ODI showings, but it's a Neil Fairbrother type ruse.

Since he was dropped in Australia (for not having knees of bees), he's managed 27 wickets @ 36 in the Test arena (0 x 5-for), less than two wickets per innings.

His knees aren't bees. They're - I don't know - slugs or something.

by Brass Monkey Sat 16 Mar 2013, 08:35

Yeah, one could see it if one looked hard enough. Which wasn't very hard. He's bobbins, but he's BTB - Better Than Bresnan.

Gotta hope and pray that the stars align again and Tremlett has a four month bout of fitness.

by LeFromage Sat 16 Mar 2013, 08:42

Brass Monkey wrote:Yeah, one could see it if one looked hard enough. Which wasn't very hard. He's bobbins, but he's BTB - Better Than Bresnan.

Gotta hope and pray that the stars align again and Tremlett has a four month bout of fitness.

Tremlett declared himself fully fit on Twitter about a month back. So the dates don't match up for the Ashes - he's going to be in traction around June at the latest.

by Brass Monkey Sat 16 Mar 2013, 08:52

Blast.

Well we have 'a battery' so I'm sure we'll be fine.

by LeFromage Sat 16 Mar 2013, 08:55

Only if we put it in a sock and start playing by prison rules.

by Brass Monkey Sat 16 Mar 2013, 13:08

Dello wrote:
Although maybe we should've: Jimmy was bowling at 76mph in that final session and looks finished.

Some ****** wrote:By the end of the third day in Wellington the boot was on the other foot with James Anderson battling a back problem, while Broad was savouring a largely pain-free experience.

by PeterCS Sat 16 Mar 2013, 19:17

Maybe they just couldn't believe Finn and Monty were so toothless the first time.

I think it was the weather situation, though.

Trott, Rott, even Kev Pott might need to contribute a fair few overs if Finn can't adjust his radar, and Monty can't get any turn at his speed.

The cupboard ain't half bare.

by Henry Sat 16 Mar 2013, 22:59

Put a fork in it, this game is done.

by PeterCS Sat 16 Mar 2013, 23:27

Certainly heading that way!

by skully Sat 16 Mar 2013, 23:31

by Henry Sat 16 Mar 2013, 23:47

Now it's raining. They'll be lucky to get back on again today.

by skully Sat 16 Mar 2013, 23:53

Cyclone Sandra was always gonna be a bitch for England.

by Henry Sun 17 Mar 2013, 07:47

It's been a rather dreary series so far.

by beamer Sun 17 Mar 2013, 10:02

Got 0-0 written all over it... snooze-tastic. At least we would retain the... is there even a name for the England-NZ series trophy?

by Henry Sun 17 Mar 2013, 10:05

The dobber trophy.

by PeterCS Sun 17 Mar 2013, 11:41

The Chatfield-Lever Helmet.

by Chivalry Augustus Sun 17 Mar 2013, 19:59

0-0 in NZ? Poor fare.

What does David Saker do? Run around with a mega phone screaming for them to bowl short? Because that's what they've been doing. The pitches aren't great but dragging it down isn't the way forward in trying conditions.

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