Re: Telegraph reporting Andy Flower's resigned.

by Brass Monkey Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:19

Vaughan? Sounds an absolute dream compared to that trundling vanilla twat whose credentials involve bowling two feet outside off stump, no captaincy background and buying the title by promising a fast-track to the England side if they signed up for his team.

by PeterCS Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:20

Warney?

Offer him an address book full of Hampshire nurses' numbers. And Abi Titmuss to meet him and greet him.

by PeterCS Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:21

Brass Monkey wrote:Vaughan? Sounds an absolute dream compared to that trundling vanilla twat whose credentials involve bowling two feet outside off stump, no captaincy background and buying the title by promising a fast-track to the England side if they signed up for his team.

Errrrr, ....... who commissioned the 2ft wide bowling?

by PeterCS Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:23

Dello wrote:
PeterCS wrote:If England want to continue their love affair with traditional stern Southern African leaders of men, Graham Ford must be free from SL at this stage?

Or that clever legal fellow Jan Smuts?

But please not Micki Arthur. Not Mickey Mouse Arthur. Not Micky Arfur. Please not Mackey Arthropod. Not Mick Arthritis. Please no.

Graham Ford has left SL to take over at Surrey on a three year deal.

Might've been a good shout, but he's probably not going to shaft the Brown Caps before he's even taken his first training session.

It would be no more than they deserve, though.

"shaft the Brown Caps" ... I feel dirty now.

by LeFromage Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:23

PeterCS wrote:Warney?

Offer him an address book full of Hampshire nurses' numbers. And Abi Titmuss to meet him and greet him.

He's Australia's bitch now. Boof has got him signed up to work with their spinners.

Judging from the two T20s so far, it's because they've unearthed a bloody, f*cking, bastard young leg-spinner who isn't a spacker in the English leg-spinner style.

Manurehead looks damned promising.

F*ck.

by LeFromage Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:24

PeterCS wrote:
Brass Monkey wrote:Vaughan? Sounds an absolute dream compared to that trundling vanilla twat whose credentials involve bowling two feet outside off stump, no captaincy background and buying the title by promising a fast-track to the England side if they signed up for his team.

Errrrr, ....... who commissioned the 2ft wide bowling?

I thought that was on Nasser's watch. I could be wrong.

by PeterCS Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:26

PeterCS wrote:Warney?

Offer him an address book full of Hampshire nurses' numbers. And Abi Titmuss to meet him and greet him.

He could take over at St Mary's while he's at it. With his poker gains (not a euphemism), the Saints would be flying for the Champs League. It's a win-win.

by Henry Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:27

Dello wrote:
PeterCS wrote:
Brass Monkey wrote:Vaughan? Sounds an absolute dream compared to that trundling vanilla twat whose credentials involve bowling two feet outside off stump, no captaincy background and buying the title by promising a fast-track to the England side if they signed up for his team.

Errrrr, ....... who commissioned the 2ft wide bowling?

I thought that was on Nasser's watch. I could be wrong.

Yep, India 2001. And because it worked once against Sachin (the only time in his test career he was stumped?) Giles and England persisted with it for the next five years.

by PeterCS Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:29

Dello wrote:
PeterCS wrote:Warney?

Offer him an address book full of Hampshire nurses' numbers. And Abi Titmuss to meet him and greet him.

He's Australia's bitch now. Boof has got him signed up to work with their spinners.

Judging from the two T20s so far, it's because they've unearthed a bloody, f*cking, bastard young leg-spinner who isn't a spacker in the English leg-spinner style.

Manurehead looks damned promising.

F*ck.

We could introduce Warney to the concept of "two-timing".

by PeterCS Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:31

Andrew Hall

Nicky Boje

Johann Louw's just retired.

Hell, ANYBODY who passes the double test for England of South Africa and Northants.

by Red Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:35

How about Piers Morgan. He's happy that KP has won the power struggle as one paper has reported.

I respect Andy Flower for what he achieved as England coach until this Aus debacle. But loathe him for way he treated players like @KP24 .

by PeterCS Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:35

crocinfo now reporting that Giles is to slip into the vacant seat

http://www.espncricinfo.com/england/content/story/714429.html

(temporarily at least)

The limited-overs coach, Ashley Giles, is currently in charge of the team and England do not play a Test series until June. Indications are that Giles will take on the added responsibility, with a press conference scheduled for Saturday morning, Australia time. Flower had been due to travel to Sri Lanka and join the Lions tour, running an eye over the next generation of Test players, but that trip has now been cancelled.

Like England's hopes of a return to the top 6 any time soon, then.

by Brass Monkey Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:36

Dello wrote:
PeterCS wrote:
Brass Monkey wrote:Vaughan? Sounds an absolute dream compared to that trundling vanilla twat whose credentials involve bowling two feet outside off stump, no captaincy background and buying the title by promising a fast-track to the England side if they signed up for his team.

Errrrr, ....... who commissioned the 2ft wide bowling?

I thought that was on Nasser's watch. I could be wrong.

Aw shit son, you done wrecked him h'yar....

by PeterCS Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:37

Red wrote:How about Piers Morgan. He's happy that KP has won the power struggle as one paper has reported.

I respect Andy Flower for what he achieved as England coach until this Aus debacle. But loathe him for way he treated players like @KP24 .

Well, that's good then, because Morgan (P) is a dickhead, twerp and qunt.

by PeterCS Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:40

Brass Monkey wrote:
Dello wrote:
PeterCS wrote:
Brass Monkey wrote:Vaughan? Sounds an absolute dream compared to that trundling vanilla twat whose credentials involve bowling two feet outside off stump, no captaincy background and buying the title by promising a fast-track to the England side if they signed up for his team.

Errrrr, ....... who commissioned the 2ft wide bowling?

I thought that was on Nasser's watch. I could be wrong.

Aw shit son, you done wrecked him h'yar....

Out of desperation, I was just reading Giles' espn profile, compiled by Guardian reject and Daily Mule hack Lawrence Booth. He gives a standout rave review to a player you'd never guess had the Test averages of 20 (bat) and 40 (ball) over ... wait for it ... 54 Tests.

Don't know when Giles' ultraneg bowling started or finished, but you are probably right about the initial "idea". - So who was touting Nas as a good choice as Flower's successor?

by LeFromage Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:41

F*ck off cricinfo! F*ck right off!

The limited-overs coach, Ashley Giles, is currently in charge of the team and England do not play a Test series until June. Indications are that Giles will take on the added responsibility, with a press conference scheduled for Saturday morning, Australia time.

That's my Saturday ruined. Probably.

by Brass Monkey Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:42

If anyone is mystified as to why the ECB hold Ashley Fraser Giles in such high regard, his record thus far may be a pointer:

ODIs - played 26, won 11.

T20Is - played 11, won 4.

Sign him up.

by PeterCS Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:45

Dello wrote:F*ck off cricinfo! F*ck right off!

The limited-overs coach, Ashley Giles, is currently in charge of the team and England do not play a Test series until June. Indications are that Giles will take on the added responsibility, with a press conference scheduled for Saturday morning, Australia time.

That's my Saturday ruined. Probably.

Never mind your weekend - what about our half-decade?

by LeFromage Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:47

Brass Monkey wrote:If anyone is mystified as to why the ECB hold Ashley Fraser Giles in such high regard, his record thus far may be a pointer:

ODIs - played 26, won 11.

T20Is - played 11, won 4.

Sign him up.

If my calculations are correct, that gives him a win percentage of just 80085.

Sorry, I got distracted. But, BOOBS! Nice.

by PeterCS Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:49

So something good came out of Giles' tenure.

Well done.

No serious, well discovered Laughing

(probs phallacious stats tho)

by Brass Monkey Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:53

Dello wrote:
Brass Monkey wrote:If anyone is mystified as to why the ECB hold Ashley Fraser Giles in such high regard, his record thus far may be a pointer:

ODIs - played 26, won 11.

T20Is - played 11, won 4.

Sign him up.

If my calculations are correct, that gives him a win percentage of just 80085.

Sorry, I got distracted. But, BOOBS! Nice.

Huh? You forgot to multiply it by 1000 and subtract 3645 - 80081355 - it says BOOBLESS you ninny

by Henry Nolonga Fri 31 Jan 2014, 13:58

PeterCS wrote:Will Smith be able to follow Kev's triumphant texts?

Or will he have to follow him in English, on twitter?

Telegraph reporting Andy Flower's resigned. - Page 2 Will-smith-thumb

by LeFromage Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:00

Brass Monkey wrote:
Dello wrote:
Brass Monkey wrote:If anyone is mystified as to why the ECB hold Ashley Fraser Giles in such high regard, his record thus far may be a pointer:

ODIs - played 26, won 11.

T20Is - played 11, won 4.

Sign him up.

If my calculations are correct, that gives him a win percentage of just 80085.

Sorry, I got distracted. But, BOOBS! Nice.

Huh? You forgot to multiply it by 1000 and subtract 3645 - 80081355 - it says BOOBLESS you ninny

You just blew my mind, dude.

by Brass Monkey Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:01

Coincidentally, that's what Jade Dernbach says after he's turned one of his tricks.

by PeterCS Fri 31 Jan 2014, 14:04

Anyway, all rise to hail the new leader:

Telegraph reporting Andy Flower's resigned. - Page 2 Ashley-Giles_2959644

And here are his best bits:

Telegraph reporting Andy Flower's resigned. - Page 2 Ashley-Giles-5323099

The rot? You ain't seen nothing yet. Here's the man to start the rot, big time.

SHORTLY after midday at the Adelaide Oval yesterday, time froze. England's morning had begun well, with two cheap wickets for Matthew Hoggard. At the other end, Steve Harmison was a bowler realigned and reborn. One ball to Ricky Ponting, very full and very fast, appeared to unsight the Australian captain, whose face registered alarm and affront. England was on the warpath.

Now Ponting swivelled to pull Hoggard. He hit it as he meant to hit it, pretty much as he has hit it every batting day these past two run-blown years. He thought it would clear the fence on the short boundary. But lurking just behind square leg on the short boundary in front of the George Giffen Stand was Ashley Giles.

In a split second, Ponting would be out for 35 and Australia would be 4-78, still 274 runs from avoiding the follow-on. Australia's hubris to think that it could bat for two days and make 700 would be punctured.

Next in would be Michael Clarke, far from re-established in Test cricket, then Adam Gilchrist, in career-worst form, then the bowlers. It would be 30 degrees today, and the pitch at last would dry and crumble, making batting hazardous. Thus exposed, Australia would stand at grave risk of losing the match, surrendering its lead in the series. (...)

All eyes except Ponting's fell on Giles. (...)

Giles reached up, but the ball squirmed through his hands. Around Adelaide Oval, folk let go breaths they did not realise they had held. [Australia were off the hook, and on their way.]

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