The Thread of Worship Towards the Almighty James Taylor

[Chivalry Augustus]

You will by now be aware of the batting phenomenomenomenon that is the big little man, James Taylor. It would be tempting to say that he has a cult following but that is not even true. He is a living, breathing cult. The little man is a god on earth. He is a pocket warrior. He's the kind of guy you walk up to in the street and hug because he looks like an ickle teddy bear. All worshipfulness to the mighty big little man. England's (SHOULD BE) new Test no. 5.

[Big Dog]

Fire & Rain is one of my favorite songs

[Chivalry Augustus]

GO AWAY AND DIE YOU ROTTEN AUSTRALIAN CRIMINAL HEATHEN. THE ONLY GOOD AUSSIE IS A BAD AUSSIE.

[Big Dog]

GO AWAY AND DIE YOU ROTTEN AUSTRALIAN CRIMINAL HEATHEN. THE ONLY GOOD AUSSIE IS A BAD AUSSIE.

Doing a Vilks eh CA

[Basil]

Except that I think Chiv is sober. He.is.Always.Like.This.

[JGK]

He is a living, breathing cult.

Had to re-read that a few times...

[lardbucket]

He's a steam roller, and he's gonna roll all over you, BD.

[PeterCS]

Well, I've seen it all now.

Fire, rain, premature cricket encomia.

[lardbucket]

I just can't remember who to send it to.

[PeterCS]

[blah, blah, blah, yadday adda yadda ...] All worshipfulness to the mighty big little man. England's (SHOULD BE) new Test no. 5.

What??

He can't even fill his helmet with enough brain ffs.

[Basil]

And he has to stand on tiptoe to see over the stumps.

[Henry]

Might get the reserve batting spot for the Winter tours if he has a good season. I'd like to see him make more tough runs against good opposition, though. Hard to do playing for Leics in division 2, I guess.

[Zat]

So it's true. James Taylor does have a friend. It's a shame his friend is Gus.

[Fred Nerk]

How sweet it is......

[Brass Monkey]

Yeah, he's OK. I can't deal with his hooter, highlights and twat accent though. I'll forgive him if he's like Sachin.

[lardbucket]

All praise to Bashful.

[PeterCS]

Quntry Rod?

[Chivalry Augustus]

So.

JIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMY?

Does he meet Red's height quota to make international cricket?

I'll tell you what. I DON'T GIVE A F*CK. I love this guy. I love him so much that I would molest him if I was in the same room as him. I would molest him so bad he would grow a whole couple of inches afterwards.

And I wouldn't stop there, either. This is full on man love. I'd go to the bottom and back again with this man. I F*CKING LOVE HIM TO BITS. There's no way of getting round it. You just look at the little guy and think "f*ck me, he's so ickle and cute."

And look at those wristy ickle hands. Think of what he can do with those little hands. I bet when he masturbates he looks like a little teddy bear trying to knock one off. His mother probably walked in on him w@nking off once. All she would have said was 'aww, my little cutie looks all cute and snuggly playing around with his penis.'

What a sensational guy.

And he can bat, as well. I get the feeling that he's one of those little guys who is just amazing at everything. A five foot sensation. WORSHIP HIM.

[taipan]

He's too fecking short.

[Brass Monkey]

So.

JIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMY?

Does he meet Red's height quota to make international cricket?

I'll tell you what. I DON'T GIVE A F*CK. I love this guy. I love him so much that I would molest him if I was in the same room as him. I would molest him so bad he would grow a whole couple of inches afterwards.

And I wouldn't stop there, either. This is full on man love. I'd go to the bottom and back again with this man. I F*CKING LOVE HIM TO BITS. There's no way of getting round it. You just look at the little guy and think "f*ck me, he's so ickle and cute."

And look at those wristy ickle hands. Think of what he can do with those little hands. I bet when he masturbates he looks like a little teddy bear trying to knock one off. His mother probably walked in on him w@nking off once. All she would have said was 'aww, my little cutie looks all cute and snuggly playing around with his penis.'

What a sensational guy.

And he can bat, as well. I get the feeling that he's one of those little guys who is just amazing at everything. A five foot sensation. WORSHIP HIM.

You come up with some crazy shit.

[Chivalry Augustus]

So.

JIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMY?

Does he meet Red's height quota to make international cricket?

I'll tell you what. I DON'T GIVE A F*CK. I love this guy. I love him so much that I would molest him if I was in the same room as him. I would molest him so bad he would grow a whole couple of inches afterwards.

And I wouldn't stop there, either. This is full on man love. I'd go to the bottom and back again with this man. I F*CKING LOVE HIM TO BITS. There's no way of getting round it. You just look at the little guy and think "f*ck me, he's so ickle and cute."

And look at those wristy ickle hands. Think of what he can do with those little hands. I bet when he masturbates he looks like a little teddy bear trying to knock one off. His mother probably walked in on him w@nking off once. All she would have said was 'aww, my little cutie looks all cute and snuggly playing around with his penis.'

What a sensational guy.

And he can bat, as well. I get the feeling that he's one of those little guys who is just amazing at everything. A five foot sensation. WORSHIP HIM.

You come up with some crazy shit.

Meh. I just read all the way through that All-Time Notts XI thread. Hard not to come up with crazy shit once you've read that. It's like living in a different world where people have vaginas for faces.

[Brass Monkey]

I was surprised at that outburst. It was only Allan being Allan after all. I mean one time in the football thread, he said something silly and I.... oh. Mine was probably even more vitriolic than yours though, you came out with some credence.

[Chivalry Augustus]

Credence of what? Lunaticism. That's what. WELCOME TO THE ASYLUM. Allan just happens to be the craziest here. I guess that even in a mad-house, there's still 'that insane guy'. That's Allan. Since then I've been unable to escape this image of him, a middle-aged guy sitting at the computer screen, looking around dazedly, crying 'no, fuhrer, you'll never get me.' Plus he's wearing nothing but a bib.

[taipan]

Credence of what? Lunaticism. That's what. WELCOME TO THE ASYLUM. Allan just happens to be the craziest here. I guess that even in a mad-house, there's still 'that insane guy'. That's Allan. Since then I've been unable to escape this image of him, a middle-aged guy sitting at the computer screen, looking around dazedly, crying 'no, fuhrer, you'll never get me.' Plus he's wearing nothing but a bib.

And a banana

[Brass Monkey]

Credence of what? Lunaticism. That's what. WELCOME TO THE ASYLUM. Allan just happens to be the craziest here. I guess that even in a mad-house, there's still 'that insane guy'. That's Allan. Since then I've been unable to escape this image of him, a middle-aged guy sitting at the computer screen, looking around dazedly, crying 'no, fuhrer, you'll never get me.' Plus he's wearing nothing but a bib.

Aye, he's easily the maddest here. Even Demelza doesn't run him close. He's like some sort of uber-right wing stats wombat, furrowed at the brow with a Hitler dartboard and, conversely, a blow up Hitler doll. He sits there thinking of America and also how to get the immigrants out of the country. He then looks at how to love America more on Google, then gets distracted and looks at how to get immigrants out of the country on the Daily Express website. He's made out of cornflakes and hatred. It's good. I like the man.

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