Australia v England, 1st T20I, Hobart, 29 January, 2014

So....

From England's exciting squad:

Hales
Lumb
Wright
Morgan
Buttler
Stokes
Root
Broad
Jordan
Dernbach
Briggs

Obviously they'll have to find a way to get Bopara, Tredwell and Tim f*cking Bresnan into the XI...

We need a few call-ups to complete the pain.

Cook * (keep him out there, otherwise England might win one)
Ballance
Bopara
Shah
Ramps
Prior
Bresnan
Rankin/Finn
Batty/Saj
Dernbach
Tredwell

I'd send Root home. The Nephew has done. He needs to get back to mummy and daddy (and uncle).

I didn't know he had Northampton connections.

Brass Monkey wrote:I'd send Root home. The Nephew has done. He needs to get back to mummy and daddy (and uncle).

But why pick on him? There are half a dozen who fit that category easily.

Well we haven't had the best of warm ups leading in to this, but hopefully now that the real cricket is starting our players will begin show a bit of pride.

Only if they have the word tattooed on their arses.

Dello wrote:From England's exciting squad:

Hales
Lumb
Wright
Morgan
Buttler
Stokes
Root
Broad
Jordan
Dernbach
Briggs

Obviously they'll have to find a way to get Bopara, Tredwell and Tim f*cking Bresnan into the XI...

That team actually looks sort of OK. Batting-wise, at least...

Dello wrote:From England's exciting squad:

Hales
Lumb
Wright
Morgan
Buttler
Stokes
Root
Broad
Jordan
Dernbach
Briggs

Obviously they'll have to find a way to get Bopara, Tredwell and Tim f*cking Bresnan into the XI...

I love all that parallel universe stuff.

From our ridiculous squad of 13 allrounders + Beetle, I'm guessing the likely XI for Aus will be:

Lark
Weed (w)
SHYTYT
Beetle (c)
Ginger
NoShow/Reeks
Heathen
Fork
Koo
Qunt Denial/Snide/Smog
Muirhead (waiting for MB to anoint him)

skully wrote:From our ridiculous squad of 13 allrounders + Beetle, I'm guessing the likely XI for Aus will be:

Lark
Weed (w)
SHYTYT
Beetle (c)
Ginger
NoShow/Reeks
Heathen
Fork
Koo
Qunt Denial/Snide/Smog
Muirhead (waiting for MB to anoint him)

Of course, no Fork now. Ridiculous that most of our best performing T20 players this season aren't even in the squad.
England should win all the T20's easily.

Australia squad

GJ Bailey*, AJ Finch, DT Christian, NM Coulter-Nile, BCJ Cutting, JP Faulkner, JR Hazlewood, MC Henriques, CA Lynn, GJ Maxwell, JM Muirhead, MA Starc, MS Wade†, CL White


England squad

SCJ Broad*, RS Bopara, TT Bresnan, DR Briggs, JC Buttler†, JW Dernbach, AD Hales, CJ Jordan, MJ Lumb, EJG Morgan, WB Rankin, JE Root, BA Stokes, JC Tredwell, LJ Wright

Surely Briggs must be better than Tredwell?

Tredwell generally does a job for us in this format. On one occasion the job was captain... for all of two balls' play before the weather intervened!

I see it's 'ladies first', today.

Are you going to watch the matches, BD?

It should always be 'ladies first'.

No argument there.

I'll be staying up on a marathon wank. Not because of women, just the prospect of the men playing some meaningless shit on the back of the wankest of tours. Win 3-0 or whatever, lose 3-0. It'll mean as much as watching the red mites on the pavement going about their business.

Brass Monkey wrote:I'll be staying up on a marathon wank.

New sig?

I thought it'd be too clichéd. Like The Italian Job, or like an England captain's speech. I need to try something different. Like 'the name's Bond. James Bond'. Something out of the ordinary.

Dickinfo says Koo defo won't play (returning from a back injury - er so WhyTF is he in the squad?) and speculates that the Aus team will be:

Lark
SHYTY
Ginger
Beetle (c)
NoShow
Reeks
Weed
Snide
Qunt Denial
Smog
The new leggie

If that's the right XI, I reckon Weed will open and SHYT will come in at 3.

It's going to be cringeworthy watching Nicholarse and Slater and the rest of the Nein team try and amp this up like it's THE cricketing event of the Summer.

Well, it's likely to be the most competitive international cricket of this Aussie summer...

beamer wrote:Well, it's likely to be the most only competitive international cricket of this Aussie summer...

fixed

Yeah, your series in Yarpia won't be competitive either.