West Indies v England, 1st Test, Antigua, 13-17 April 2015

We're going on about Broad the batsman, we should also be talking about the bowler - they tell me hhe's averaging 25 in his last 15 Tests, picking up 65 wicks. Go Lady Di

beamer wrote:4 centuries in first 9 Tests, an achievement only matched (or in one case bettered) in England colours by Peter Sutcliffe, Rick Parfitt and Johan Strauss.

Couldn't help myself beamer sorry. Very juvenile, but I thought the list needed to be spiced up - given a bit of 20/20 stardust if you will.

Can't think of another Ballance, never mind a notable/notorious namesake...

beamer wrote:Can't think of another Ballance, never mind a notable/notorious namesake...

Holly?

Bet Cook is already panicking that he didn't declare with over 500 lead.

Brass Monkey wrote:

beamer wrote:Can't think of another Ballance, never mind a notable/notorious namesake...

Holly?

Liberty?

Not as sexy

Looks a decent (if slow) ton by Ballance. And Belf run out in both innings [snigger].

Looks a good declaration.

I know it's a long way off being likely - but if England lose this game then do you think Mooresy could do the honourable thing and top himself.

Picture the scene.

In his hotel room, at around 3 a.m and having pored over the data all night long he realises that the situation is hopeless.

After writing a resignation slash suicide note whereby he uses the phrase 'take it on the chin' a world record 37 times and swearing eternal allegiance to the Fuhrer Downton and Reichsmarshal Whittaker, he wraps himself in an England flag. Not any ordinary England flag, but one of those ones you see draped at the ground which reads West Ham United FC - Baz, Tel and Davey Boy on Tour 2015.

Then in a scene reminiscent of the epic scuttling of the Graf Spee in Montevideo harbour, but in an England cricket team fashion, so much more pathetic and crumby he gets in a pedalo and with the sun coming up he heads into the bay at St Johns, proceeds to kick a hole in the floor of the pedalo only to find that he's already semi-beached on a sandbar and then mallets himself over the head with one of those cricket ball throwers until he renders himself unconscious.

And having failed in his attempt to leave this mortal coil he is resurrected and re-appointed for a third time as coach of the England team.

Absolute pearler taken by Jordan at slip. He's an outstanding slipper to the spinners

Of course, the best thing about Michael Carberry being at first slip is that Dropsy Cook is nowhere near there

Where does Cook hide himself these days?

So we SHOULD have this wrapped up a bit before tea tomorrow. I reckon Marlon has an innings in him, though.....

I like Barry Gallance. He's got a healthy appetite for runs and isn't too proud to score them as hideously as possible.

I worry about his tendency to hide as deep in his crease as humanly possible, though. Doesn't fill me with confidence to see a number three doing that.

Not that he is a number three (he's a five all day long) but for reasons best known to Jimmy Cocopuffs and the England brains trust, they want to shoe-horn him into the side out of position.

At least they're not picking him primarily for his leg-spin, I guess. Or are they...?

skully wrote:Where does Cook hide himself these days?

Heaven. Next to the seraphim.

Was pleased for Devon Smith, think he's better than his woeful record. It's hard to believe that it's been 11 years since he got his only century - thought he'd do much better than he has. Hope he goes on to get one tomorrow

Dello wrote:I like Barry Gallance. He's got a healthy appetite for runs and isn't too proud to score them as hideously as possible.

I worry about his tendency to hide as deep in his crease as humanly possible, though. Doesn't fill me with confidence to see a number three doing that.

Not that he is a number three (he's a five all day long) but for reasons best known to Jimmy Cocopuffs and the England brains trust, they want to shoe-horn him into the side out of position.

At least they're not picking him primarily for his leg-spin, I guess. Or are they...?

At least he's been effective at number 3, as otherwise we don't have a 1, 2 or 3 worthy of the name but plenty of serviceable options at 4, 5 and 6. Boycott even semi-jokingly suggested KP returning as an opener earlier...

Brass Monkey wrote:Was pleased for Devon Smith, think he's better than his woeful record. It's hard to believe that it's been 11 years since he got his only century - thought he'd do much better than he has. Hope he goes on to get one tomorrow

If he does, he's on target to match Tendulkar's tally by the year 2554.

beamer wrote:

Dello wrote:I like Barry Gallance. He's got a healthy appetite for runs and isn't too proud to score them as hideously as possible.

I worry about his tendency to hide as deep in his crease as humanly possible, though. Doesn't fill me with confidence to see a number three doing that.

Not that he is a number three (he's a five all day long) but for reasons best known to Jimmy Cocopuffs and the England brains trust, they want to shoe-horn him into the side out of position.

At least they're not picking him primarily for his leg-spin, I guess. Or are they...?

At least he's been effective at number 3, as otherwise we don't have a 1, 2 or 3 worthy of the name but plenty of serviceable options at 4, 5 and 6. Boycott even semi-jokingly suggested KP returning as an opener earlier...

The top three will inevitably have to change. They're too nudgy, nurdly, and slow. No opposition will be scared about getting it wrong with the ball first up. Needs an aggressor in there somewhere. KP shouldn't open. Lyth can be aggressive, which makes his non-selection even more baffling. Unfortunately, England being England, they will probably give Cook and Trott the entire series to fail now.

I can't think of too many aggressive openers in County cricket at the moment. Hales has moved down to number three at Notts, Roy only opens in the short stuff, as does Moeen, Lees CAN be aggressive but tends to play pretty steadily most of the time, Carberry ignores his instincts at the top level.....There's no opening batsman in the Sehwag/Warner/Trescothick/Hayden mould in English cricket at the moment, which should be a worry.

Henry wrote:

beamer wrote:

Dello wrote:I like Barry Gallance. He's got a healthy appetite for runs and isn't too proud to score them as hideously as possible.

I worry about his tendency to hide as deep in his crease as humanly possible, though. Doesn't fill me with confidence to see a number three doing that.

Not that he is a number three (he's a five all day long) but for reasons best known to Jimmy Cocopuffs and the England brains trust, they want to shoe-horn him into the side out of position.

At least they're not picking him primarily for his leg-spin, I guess. Or are they...?

At least he's been effective at number 3, as otherwise we don't have a 1, 2 or 3 worthy of the name but plenty of serviceable options at 4, 5 and 6. Boycott even semi-jokingly suggested KP returning as an opener earlier...

The top three will inevitably have to change. They're too nudgy, nurdly, and slow. No opposition will be scared about getting it wrong with the ball first up. Needs an aggressor in there somewhere. KP shouldn't open. Lyth can be aggressive, which makes his non-selection even more baffling. Unfortunately, England being England, they will probably give Cook and Trott the entire series to fail now.

I can't think of too many aggressive openers in County cricket at the moment. Hales has moved down to number three at Notts, Roy only opens in the short stuff, as does Moeen, Lees CAN be aggressive but tends to play pretty steadily most of the time, Carberry ignores his instincts at the top level.....There's no opening batsman in the Sehwag/Warner/Trescothick/Hayden mould in English cricket at the moment, which should be a worry.

Surely they have no option but to stick with Cook and Trott. Cook as captain will not get dumped this series and maybe not the whole summer, irrespective of results. And it would be a big/brave/heartless call to axe a guy who has had a bout of serious mental illness (twice?). Not sure I'd want that decision on my conscience - but it is one that the management have put themselves in the firing line to have to make. If and when it happens it would have to be done with great care and delicacy - not attributes you'd closely associate with the ECB.

Agree with you on the top 3's slowness. Against better bowling we'll be lucky to get over 2 or 2.5 rpo. So expect some slow and low innings totals this summer.

With this dour opening to the day the Windies are batting themselves away from the option of victory. Makes it so much easier on England.

Six successive maidens is a bit much. They've outcrabbed Cook and Trott.

wow, Anderson's away record is horrendous.

And Smith goes after a stupid stroke

Devon - you are a qunt