West Indies v England, 2nd Test, Grenada, 21-25 April, 2015

Two wickets to get and we're employing Joe Root around the wicket? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Root has been about England's best bowler this series, up to today

Mebbe Jim should keep wicket. Could well make a couple of stumpings.

I know - Root is fantastic. A marvel. A genius. A nephew. He makes me smile. He makes me cry. He makes me wank. He's a better version of Jim Laker. He's a better version of molasses.

BUT I personally think that utilising his ultra tricky hand grenades, 8 down, with a relatively new ball, around the wicket even as variety just before lunch is akin to that Glaswegian bloke who microwaved a watermelon, cut a hole in it, it was too hot to handle without oven gloves and he still stuck his dick in it.

Chef's not that much of a plonker. And no melon was to hand anyway.

Was only the one over, no?

Really tense hour here, this is the match. If Windies survive then they should be alright, couple of wickets and it's England's game.

PeterCS wrote:Chef's not that much of a plonker. And no melon was to hand anyway.

Was only the one over, no?

Or two. No biggedy in the scale of things. Thought it was longer. I say get him back on. T'others are gashing the place out ATM

Well I can see pigs flying outside and England are going to win an away test.

Nahhh. 143 to win in 59 overs? Block it out.

Decent effort overall today, good new ball bowling, Cook takes a blinder, Jimmy with a great run out... We were almost like a proper cricket team until they were 8 down. Living the dream

It's almost as though Trott isn't a very good opener.

PeterCS wrote:Chef's not that much of a plonker. And no melon was to hand anyway.

Was only the one over, no?

Cook isn't a plonker?

I miss one day and he's the reincarnation of Brearley

Cook's recent form with the bat is the only similarity.

He's saying that Cook wouldn't f*ck a scalding melon.

Trott is not a good opener.

Trott isn't a good anything - his year-on-year returns in Test cricket grow ever more modest, while he grows longer in the tooth and should be marked, very firmly, as high-risk given his averse reaction to the (admittedly enormous) pressures of spending so much of your time as part of team England. That's not a criticism, it's just that, overall, he doesn't have a great deal going for him at this time. He's creating a problem more than he's solving one. Adam Lyth merited a place in the team.

Brass Monkey wrote:He's saying that Cook wouldn't f*ck a scalding melon.

Trott is not a good opener.

Neither would Brearley, therefore Cook is a good captain.

That's a horrible looking ankle-turn for Holder. Torn ligaments at best, broken ankle at worst.

Neil D wrote:That's a horrible looking ankle-turn for Holder.  Torn ligaments at best, broken ankle at worst.

Looked awful. Good luck to him but it looks a bad one

Brass Monkey wrote:

Neil D wrote:That's a horrible looking ankle-turn for Holder.  Torn ligaments at best, broken ankle at worst.

Looked awful. Good luck to him but it looks a bad one

Aye. Doesn't seem like the sort of bloke who'd be rolling round on the floor unless it was something bad.

Seems a promising young player, hopefully it's not as serious as it looked.

Really big swelling straight away which is a bad sign. Or it isn't. I'm not a geologist, Jim.

Must say, the Windies' batting today was criminally inept. Richard Blackwood's shot - a top order batman, allegedly - was village green stuff.

Shame. Just when you think they might not be a total shambles, the wheels spunk everywhere.

Well, that's disappointing. I rather suspected the chocolate soldiers would melt, but losing 8-83 to only set 143 is, as Dello says, criminal. Pretty pea-hearted stuff by the Ganjas.

Anywho, well done to the Poms. Looks like the real Jimmikins stood up today.

Gary Ballance the third quickest to 1000 runs for Angleterre. 17 innings, 10 Tests, 4 tons, 5 half-tons.

Cook is averaging 70 in his last 5 Tests.

Living the dream, gents. Salad days...

phuckit

Brass Monkey wrote:Gary Ballance the third quickest to 1000 runs for Angleterre. 17 innings, 10 Tests, 4 tons, 5 half-tons.

Cook is averaging 70 in his last 5 Tests.

Living the dream, gents. Salad days...

Salad tossing.

Dello wrote:

Brass Monkey wrote:Gary Ballance the third quickest to 1000 runs for Angleterre. 17 innings, 10 Tests, 4 tons, 5 half-tons.

Cook is averaging 70 in his last 5 Tests.

Living the dream, gents. Salad days...

Salad tossing.

Not in terms of run rate I hope.

And on the salad toss issue do you think Moores stands in the background coaching them to 'take it on the chin'?

And do they aim to play an exciting 'brand' of tossing?

Moving away from the horror that is Cook and Ballance tossing the salad, but keeping up the tenuous foodie reference vibe I think it's time to drop Shiv (or better still to have a private word with him and allow him the honour of retiring immediately as he is a true legend) as his mince pies seem to have finally gone. This series and the last against SA suggest that time is up for the great sideways crabmaster.