Greatest product review ever

You rike speaku furoma da exaperiensu, Derro?

I have never had any rerationrip problems.

It's always them.

I'm not going to f*cking Bath. If we have coffee it will be in the big W.

Rook, I know aboutu awr your pureadinga rab rettas to the rabbree rasses of Nihon.

You had ROUSY rerationrip poorobburemmoos, my good ferrow!

You will be going to Bath, and that's an end of it, vilks. You know it's true.

vilkrang wrote:I'm not going to f*cking Bath.

Typical pom.













Sorry. I'll get my coat.

vilkrang wrote:I'm not going to f*cking Bath.

[squnty Aussie]Typical Pom. Thraw another shrimp on the barbie, cobber.[/squnty Aussie]

Whoazers - word for word.

Do I know my audience or what?

Flaming Bails - a little haven for the promotion of international understanding.

What?

I think vilks' ex is like bacon is to me, cannot leave it alone.

I just can't... people tell me to leave it... I try my hardest but I cannot help but go crawling back to its salty smoky goodness. I'd have 8 rashers if I was allowed. If a ready cooked packet is in my vicinity I'll smash it without any thought of consequence. Why can't bacon be healthy for me?

What were we on about again? I'm baconed.

Do you drive to Bath for your back rashers??

Brass Monkey wrote:I think vilks' ex is like bacon is to me, cannot leave it alone.

I just can't... people tell me to leave it... I try my hardest but I cannot help but go crawling back to its salty smoky goodness. I'd have 8 rashers if I was allowed. If a ready cooked packet is in my vicinity I'll smash it without any thought of consequence. Why can't bacon be healthy for me?

What were we on about again? I'm baconed.

Phwoar. I could murder a bacon sanga right about now. And you're to blame. You sold it so well. You should work for the bacon board. Is there one? The Principal of Pigs. No, that'd be the opposite of selling the product - I shouldn't imagine the pigs are well up for being bacon.

Maybe they are - who can honestly say they understand the swine mentality?

If they joined the board of NewsCorp, that would be proof enough for me.

PeterCS wrote:Do you drive to Bath for your back rashers??

No, I have my uhhhh sources.

Dello wrote:

Phwoar. I could murder a bacon sanga right about now. And you're to blame. You sold it so well. You should work for the bacon board. Is there one? The Principal of Pigs. No, that'd be the opposite of selling the product - I shouldn't imagine the pigs are well up for being bacon.

Maybe they are - who can honestly say they understand the swine mentality?

Well, there's a website called 'Bacon Today' which has loads of facts and a board to share your love of bacon. Oh, and 'addicted2bacon.com'. Basically you can fulfil your bacon desiring needs in these two.

Have you tried maple cure? Really quite nice. Black treacle? Pretty nice.

ATM, I'm loving Wall's smoked bacon... there's a certain flavour to it that I can't get past.

Brass Monkey wrote:

Dello wrote:

Phwoar. I could murder a bacon sanga right about now. And you're to blame. You sold it so well. You should work for the bacon board. Is there one? The Principal of Pigs. No, that'd be the opposite of selling the product - I shouldn't imagine the pigs are well up for being bacon.

Maybe they are - who can honestly say they understand the swine mentality?

Well, there's a website called 'Bacon Today' which has loads of facts and a board to share your love of bacon. Oh, and 'addicted2bacon.com'. Basically you can fulfil your bacon desiring needs in these two.

Have you tried maple cure? Really quite nice. Black treacle? Pretty nice.

ATM, I'm loving Wall's smoked bacon... there's a certain flavour to it that I can't get past.

Truth be told, I'm not a bacon connoisseur. I don't eat a lot of meat, generally. Chicken. Bit of ham. And that's about it.

But that doesn't mean I don't hanker for a bacon buttie from time to time.

Ham's the poor farmer's bacon... don't tell me you have that wafer-thin shit? Abominable. You need to get your priorities straight.

Nah - I'm a bit squeamish about meat; can't eat stuff out of a packet that may or may not be reconstituted anuses.

I need to see that It's a proper cut of ham from a hammy-looking thing in the supermarket.

Ah, I get you. Just plain old pork I can understand, but a bit of lamb? A bit of beef?? (no jokes about the Lamb/Botham tour).

Lamb: fatty as f*ck. Gross.

Beef: not since the government advised us to wilfully infect ourselves with CJD to prop up their incompetently policed meat industry.

Oh that shit? That was long times. It's all chocolate drops now.

As for lamb, yeah I suppose how someone who's a little put off by meat would find it a bit of a fright. It's a fine tasting meat though, I'm a little poncey about fat myself, but there's a good few delicate bits of meat on it.

Don't get me wrong - I've dined out on lamb from time to time. In the right context, it's a bit of all right.

Beef, though, never again. Not in this country that insisted a product that wasn't safe to eat was, in fact, safe - protecting the industry over the consumer.

Aye, there've been quite a few reforms since then though. We're actually amongst the best in the world for food hygiene and are up with Germany in terms of adherence to EU regulatory directives.

Did the same people who told us that infected cattle was safe to eat also give our new and improved hygiene standards the all clear?

Nah. Not for me. Fool me once, etc.