Re: The Wimbledon Thread - anyone for tennis?

by LeFromage Thu 30 Jun 2011, 10:39

Brass Monkey wrote:There's plenty of women alive and dead that aren't on my list. Angelina Jolie, Mischa Barton, Pink, Christina Aguilera, Lindsey Lohan... loads more.

Angelina was lovely when she was in her early twenties. Which is also the last time she ate.

by Brass Monkey Thu 30 Jun 2011, 10:41

I have always felt an 'emotionless, pretentious thunderqunt' vibe from her. Wouldn't touch her with a leftover barbecued sausage.

by taipan Thu 30 Jun 2011, 10:44

With Danny on this. She's a cardboard cutout.

by LeFromage Thu 30 Jun 2011, 10:48

Brass Monkey wrote:I have always felt an 'emotionless, pretentious thunderqunt' vibe from her. Wouldn't touch her with a leftover barbecued sausage.

I get that vibe from most celebs. Which is their loss, frankly. No wonder they all turn to drugs and Piers Morgan - I'm what they could've won. If only they weren't qunts. And didn't have standards.

by JGK Thu 30 Jun 2011, 10:51

Brass Monkey wrote:I have always felt an 'emotionless, pretentious thunderqunt' vibe from her. Wouldn't touch her with a leftover barbecued sausage.

Obviously given Billy Bob Thornton's already been there.

by Brass Monkey Thu 30 Jun 2011, 10:57

Dello wrote:
I get that vibe from most celebs. Which is their loss, frankly. No wonder they all turn to drugs and Piers Morgan - I'm what they could've won. If only they weren't qunts. And didn't have standards.

Yeah, it's just the extremity of her awful persona that really makes me want to cause violence towards her and she's not even preggo!

JGK wrote:
Obviously given Billy Bob Thornton's already been there.

Yeah, what about that whole vial of each other's blood round the neck thing? Unbelivable. That's like special needs gone monumental. Tards.

by PeterCS Thu 30 Jun 2011, 12:56

Just jealousy Danny.

You always fancied Billy Bob. Don't try to deny it.

by PeterCS Thu 30 Jun 2011, 12:56

I notice you didn't put Britney on your list ...

by taipan Thu 30 Jun 2011, 12:59

PeterCS wrote:I notice you didn't put Britney on your list ...

He already ticked her off.

by lardbucket Thu 30 Jun 2011, 13:45

He still wants to hit her baby one more time

by Brass Monkey Thu 30 Jun 2011, 13:50

PeterCS wrote:Just jealousy Danny.

You always fancied Billy Bob. Don't try to deny it.

If he 'Monster's Ball'ed me whilst dressed as Bad Santa...

taipan wrote:
He already ticked her off.

If by 'her' you mean the tranny who's an apparent lookeelikee, then yes, she's off my list.

lardbucket wrote:He still wants to hit her baby one more time

TBH, I have been waiting til she's up the duff again. My mate's could do with a good laugh.

by Red Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:15

Gosh you wouldn't want to rely on this thread for the tennis score. Smile

by PeterCS Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:23

You wouldn't want to rely on this forum for anything.

by WideWally Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:34

I think the Rugby League & AFL threads are usually fairly accurate & the Celebrity Death Thread is quite good if you want to find out anything about dead folk.

One little trick I have discovered about the Rugby League thread is that when Souths are playing you only need to check if Nath has posted to find out the result. If they have won Nath will be busy throwing darts at his Gladiator poster & if they lost he will be straight on here to write "Sucked in Souths". Very reliable is our Nath.

Apart from that, you may have a point.

by JKLever Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:37

Brass Monkey wrote:I have always felt an 'emotionless, pretentious thunderqunt' vibe from her. Wouldn't touch her with a leftover barbecued sausage.

I too have always felt an 'emotionless, pretentious thunderqunt' vibe from her. I would however let my standards slip with a leftover barbecued sausage...

by Brass Monkey Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:41

There was about 9 seconds in Beowulf where I was all 'hooah! hooah!' but it dissipated. I put it down to her being a monster, though.

by PeterCS Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:44

That's pure eurotophobia

by PeterCS Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:48

(possibly aggravated by a touch of helminthophobia)

by Brass Monkey Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:50

PeterCS wrote:That's pure eurotophobia

Hmm, could've been. Could've also been awfulwhoreaphobia.

by Henry Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:55

Fark me, that Azarenka girl is f*cking annpying with her three second long grunts after every shot. Glad she's out.

by PeterCS Thu 30 Jun 2011, 15:00

The biggest grunt at Wimbledon this year?

by Henry Thu 30 Jun 2011, 15:26

All the female players are chokers. It's basically a competition to see who can choke the least.

by PeterCS Thu 30 Jun 2011, 16:53

Licky-Silly-Sicky outbiffed by Biffing Gwyneth.

'Sicki started out full of spunk once again, and clearly on top (3-0) .... but then her first serve collapsed. Gwyneth too excelled in her serve, haemmorhaging double faults like an ad for the Catholic Church. But her long legs and continued biffy-biffing eventually won the day in the returning stakes.

How is it that Gwyneth is so unengaging a character? Is it the supermodel haughtiness? Or is it the Leyton-Hewitt-meets-Gwyneth-Paltrow-meets-hysterical-chicken-meets-Little-Lady-Fauntleroy histrionics whenever she wins a point? Curious, that.

by JGK Fri 01 Jul 2011, 09:45

So, the Scot and the Serb tonight?

by skully Fri 01 Jul 2011, 10:00

Up until Petey and JGK ruined it with tennis talk, the last few pages are all that is gold about Flaming Bails. Absolutely hilarious but completely tangential twaddle.

Keep up the sterling work, lads. Cool

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