India v England, 3rd Test, Kolkata, 5-9 December, 2012

If you squint, he could almost look like Jason Gillespie under a lid.

So, - honours even so far?

India do at least have the runs on the board, and England are due to bat last.

England ahead at this stage.

Brass Monkey wrote:If you squint, he could almost look like Jason Gillespie under a lid.

A goatee which doesn't belong on the face and never combed hair?

Gangly, gawky gaits gaswell.

Gaswell's perfect for the farts that Sharma doles out.

Yuvraj is still not Test class. Even when he's scored runs this series - got to 30, that is - he has been incredibly fortunate. Surely Rahane or Tiwary has to bat at 6? This guy is a joke.

Anyone's better than him.

Brass Monkey wrote:Best thing JM Anderson has done since Sri Lanka. Getting on for 8 months ago.

8 months of shit. Unless you count one innings v the WI in Mayish. Which I don't.

Which I do f*cking not count.

Bowled with zip today - consistently around 85mph. Which isn't rapid, but given that he's been dobbing down 78mph lollipops for a year or so, is certainly a nice change.

Monty was very good as well. Swann chipped away, without looking as threatening, and Finn had his moments and was a little unlucky not to pick up a wicket.

All in all, an efficient and rather decent effort from England today. At 80-1 and a r/r of nearly five, I was thinking bowling them out for anything under 400-450 would be a reasonable outcome.

Oh, and I've decided I hate Gambhir. Let me put that on record. It's not really his fault, but there are just certain players that rub you up the wrong way in some capacity, and he's one. I think it's his slappable face. Or kickable demeanour.

Chivalry Augustus wrote:Yuvraj is still not Test class. Even when he's scored runs this series - got to 30, that is - he has been incredibly fortunate. Surely Rahane or Tiwary has to bat at 6? This guy is a joke.

I can't believe Rahane isn't playing Tests already. He's all class.

Dello wrote:Oh, and I've decided I hate Gambhir. Let me put that on record. It's not really his fault

mostly it is. he's a qunt

I think he's unfortunate. To bear some facial resemblance to "Lord" Gangs.

Dello wrote:Oh, and I've decided I hate Gambhir.

I've publicised the fact I loathe the little f*cker. Good to have you aboard - what with Ian Bell, we're brothers in hate.

TO's on it too... TO, do you also hate lil Ronnie Knickershit?

I personally don't hate Ian Bell and nobody could ever find any evidence to contradict that.

Anyways. This pitch ain't that flat. It's got something there. Plus it's low and even if it's flat England tend to be wank on slow, low pitches. Look at Colombo. After the top four and particularly Sir Pietersen, everyone was wank. Especially Ian Bell who I do not hate whatsoever.

The onus is on England not to let the tail wag and to bat sensibly tomorrow. Except for Sir Pietersen who should just do his thing.

Chivalry Augustus wrote:I personally don't hate Ian Bell and nobody could ever find any evidence to contradict that.

Anyways. This pitch ain't that flat. It's got something there. Plus it's low and even if it's flat England tend to be wank on slow, low pitches. Look at Colombo. After the top four and particularly Sir Pietersen, everyone was wank. Especially Ian Bell who I do not hate whatsoever.

The onus is on England not to let the tail wag and to bat sensibly tomorrow. Except for Sir Pietersen who should just do his thing.

As you've mentioned, it doesn't matter if the pitch is 'flat' - it's slow and low, that is the tempo. And it's the tempo that England are particularly wank at. IMO, it rests on Nicky C, Ally C and Kevvy uhh C to get the runs, because the others seem to be shot to ribbons. KP may have to even dust off the Earl of Tonkaville robes that've been passed down to him.

Yeah, Dello was right. Bit more nip from Jimbo and what a difference it made. He was pretty outstanding. Quntyballs was saying that Swannage apparently* wasn't feeling very well, hence only 14 overs.

Had time to digest Monty's Gangnam celebration.. funny as f*ck - he's obvo getting confident. Maybe he'll take Lady Di's place back in the England.

Sachin ended up looking pretty good - maybs some life in the old dog yet. Without him they'd have been toast. They're looking more and more charred bread when Pujjy isn't making a score. Some Indiano said that Pujjy was papering over the cracks and it seems they're possibly right they're a bit of a jiggley wiggley jiggley wiggley jiggley wiggley show.

Gotta be happy overall. But as I just mentioned the England batsmen are waay too used to being able to leave it on length. Could be 'Zaheer's time on this f*cker' to quote RGD Willis.

Brass Monkey wrote:Yeah, Dello was right. Bit more nip from Jimbo and what a difference it made. He was pretty outstanding. Quntyballs was saying that Swannage apparently* wasn't feeling very well, hence only 14 overs.

Had time to digest Monty's Gangnam celebration.. funny as f*ck - he's obvo getting confident. Maybe he'll take Lady Di's place back in the England.

Sachin ended up looking pretty good - maybs some life in the old dog yet. Without him they'd have been toast. They're looking more and more charred bread when Pujjy isn't making a score. Some Indiano said that Pujjy was papering over the cracks and it seems they're possibly right they're a bit of a jiggley wiggley jiggley wiggley jiggley wiggley show.

Gotta be happy overall. But as I just mentioned the England batsmen are waay too used to being able to leave it on length. Could be 'Zaheer's time on this f*cker' to quote RGD Willis.

...I think you pomgolians have been inordinately tough on Jimmy...he also put his back into his work in the 1st test...this time he had a bit of luck to reward his hard work...

A solid day. Good to see England playing with intensity. A special mention to Samit and Finn for that run out. Top fielding effort and it really turned things around for England after it looked like India were going to make hay.

horace wrote:
...I think you pomgolians have been inordinately tough on Jimmy...he also put his back into his work in the 1st test...this time he had a bit of luck to reward his hard work...

The results haven't been there. Which have coincided with him losing a touch of zip. His greyhound like physique may need a bit more muscle added to it in his later years, to maintain performance levels.

Henry wrote:A solid day. Good to see England playing with intensity. A special mention to Samit and Finn for that run out. Top fielding effort and it really turned things around for England after it looked like India were going to make hay.

A special mention to Sehwag for that run out. Once again showing a complete unerring, solid, unwaivering lack of professionalism.

The One wrote:

Dello wrote:Oh, and I've decided I hate Gambhir. Let me put that on record. It's not really his fault

mostly it is. he's a qunt

And a very selfish one at that.

Qriqket is full of qunts, it seems.

Brass Monkey wrote:

Henry wrote:A solid day. Good to see England playing with intensity. A special mention to Samit and Finn for that run out. Top fielding effort and it really turned things around for England after it looked like India were going to make hay.

A special mention to Sehwag for that run out. Once again showing a complete unerring, solid, unwaivering lack of professionalism.

Pretty sure it was Gambhir's fault. There was three there but good 'ol Gauti detected a slight possibility of losing his own wicket, so for the sake of dear team India, he sacrificed Viru instead.

It was a piss way of going about the third run. I've seen pensioners move with more purpose.

Samit chugging after the ball, flopping over and stopping it, Viru and Gauti ambling between the wickets, turning like the QE II......Sunday afternoon village cricket broke out at the Gardens for a moment there.

The only difference is Finn hasn't got a custard arm.