Ashes 2013 - a question

PeterCS wrote:
PUR-LEAZZE! Hish Lardship ish a hexshtreeeemely dishcriminating boozher.

Nailed it.

There's a conspiracy going on to play Phews into the testeam.

Currently 46*.

Bowled by the Irishman for 50.

Place nailed on now, though. Watto, Cowan, Hughes, Clarke, Khawaja for the First Test.

Haddin, Faulkner, Harris, Starc, Patto, Lyon might round out the team?

JGK wrote:There's a conspiracy going on to play Phews into the testeam.

Currently 46*.

A 70 and a 50. Unfirtch he'll make the T1 XI. Whata farkin joke.

6 wkt win for Aus v Z'zet. The only loser was Cot. All the boys made runs. Warner should miss a spot in T1.

Siddle won't mind being first reserve.

He'd take anything for the team.

Even gargoyle revulsion on FB.

Totem Face.

skully wrote:6 wkt win for Aus v Z'zet. The only loser was Cot. All the boys made runs. Warner should miss a spot in T1.

Aye. As mentioned previously, Sids has been mediocre on tour so All things being correct, he should sit out the first test but like Hilditch, Invers has turned selection into a lotery.

Pattinson? Starc? Who?

England taking on Essex at Chav Central as a final warm-up game. Jimmy and Sturat left out.

Didn't Siddle make a FC century a few weeks ago? We need him for his batting.

[/quote]

Brass Monkey wrote:Pattinson? Starc? Who?

Harris!

Ahhh. Yeah. Good seam attack, that.

Better than ours.

We would need Tremlett +(1 on better form than recently) with Anderson to match it.

PeterCS wrote:Better than ours.

We would need Tremlett +(1 on better form than recently) with Anderson to match it.

Yeah, better than ours for certain. Swann is the saving grace really.

Hopefully.

Brass Monkey wrote:

PeterCS wrote:Better than ours.

We would need Tremlett +(1 on better form than recently) with Anderson to match it.

Yeah, better than ours for certain. Swann is the saving grace really.

And having more than one batsman...

Well, Clarke, Khawaja, Watson maybe, ... they are finding a bit of form, since Warner was quarantined, Arfur got fired and Boof came in.

Maybe they should get someone to strike a Pom on a regular basis.

Having watched most of today's play, I'm not sure we've got a batsman.

Ashes Scavenger Hunt courtesy of "The Roar":

It’s the Ashes Scavenger Hunt. Featuring shock declarations, comical run outs and the outlawing of chemical weaponry. Spot them all and win!

HOW TO PLAY: Simply watch every single minute of the upcoming Ashes series in England and check off the items as you spot them. The player with the most points wins the Ashes – Scavenger Hunt.

SCAVENGER HUNT ITEMS

Australian batting collapse – 4 points
England batting collapse – 9 points
Lords Media Centre commentary box collapse – 16 points

Dave Warner twitter fiasco – 2 points

Jonathan Trott ekes out a slow, dour innings just when England need it – 10 points
Jonathan Trott ekes out a slow, dour innings just when England don’t need it – 2 points

Commentators start droning on about ‘howlers’ after DRS controversy – 5 points
Commentators start droning on about ‘howlers’ after Australia’s middle order turn into werewolves – 80 points

Darren Lehmann cigarette sighting – 3 points

Matthew Wade plays as a specialist batsman – 5 points
Matthew Wade plays as a specialist bowler – 10 points
Matthew Wade plays as a specialist wicket-keeper – 20 points

Commentator mentions that Peter Siddle is a vegetarian – 1 point
Commentator mentions that Adolf Hitler was a vegetarian – 20 points

Australian openers indulge in comical run out – 2 points

In post-Test interview, Michael Clarke congratulates England for being the better team – 4 points
In post-Test interview, Michael Clarke congratulates England for being the more disciplined team – 8 points
In post-Test interview, Michael Clarke congratulates England for being the prettier team – 12 points

Players go off because of bad light – 1 point
Players go off because of bad hair day – 20 points

Stuart Broad has that gormless look on his face that makes you want to hurl a cricket stump at him with all your might – 0.1 point (to a maximum of 100 points)

Match referee fines Australians for slow over rates – 10 points
Match referee fines Australians for unleashing weaponised hallucinogens – 50 points

Male streaker – 5 points
Female streaker – 15 points
Streaker of indeterminate gender – 30 points

Commentator sniggering over the name ‘Joe Root’ – 1 point

Australian fast bowler sent home from tour early with a back injury – 1 point
Michael Clarke sent home from tour early with a back injury – 5 points
Australian team physiotherapist sent home from tour early with a back injury – 20 points

Shane Watson dismissed in 90s – 5 points
Ed Cowan dismissed in 30s – 2 points

Unanticipated declaration from Michael Clarke – 3 points

Kevin Pietersen does something brilliant – 4 points
Kevin Pietersen does something ridiculous – 2 points
Kevin Pietersen does something equal parts brilliant and ridiculous – 1 point

Mention of 2005, 2009 or 2010-11 Ashes by England commentator – 1 point
Mention of 2006-07 Ashes by England commentator – 40 points

Hashim Amla impersonation – 10 points

Mitchell Starc starts bowling spell with a first ball wicket – 10 points
Mitchell Starc starts bowling spell with a first ball wide – 2 points

Shock comeback by Ricky Ponting – 20 points
Shock comeback by Shane Warne – 40 points
Shock comeback by ghost of Sir Donald Bradman – 99.94 points

gold

JGK wrote:In post-Test interview, Michael Clarke congratulates England for being the prettier team – 12 points
...
Stuart Broad has that gormless look on his face that makes you want to hurl a cricket stump at him with all your might – 0.1 point (to a maximum of 100 points)
...
Australian team physiotherapist sent home from tour early with a back injury – 20 points

My personal faves.  

aye.... just shows what can be done by drinking a few reds and shooting the breeze

It was quality work.