Mental Illness, Neurosis, Depression and Suicide

Vikas, I am happy that you have:

a) a great life with no stress
b) a steel shelled mental capacity that can cope with all shit thrown at it.

However there are many, many people that simply can't cope. I assure you the battle between suicidal thoughts and getting on with your shit life is a VERY difficult one. Any man who gets to the point that he cannot see beyond suicide over life with his child is truly in a VERY DARK place. I find the notion of cowardice/selfishness being linked with suicide a bit galling. Life is sacred, very few mature people (ignoring idiot i-Gen teenagers who have no perspective) lightly consider the concept of leaving their loved ones because they can no longer cope.

So Batman, yes, your opinion is accepted and valid but perhaps a little blunt in the situation of LLL's work colleague.

I had a cousin brother who died a sometime back at the age of 40. He lost both his kidneys when he was 25 and 15 years he struggled through pain and dialysis that young, watching his kids grow up in frustration at not being able to work and provide for them and watching his wife slog hard to meet his medical expenses and to make ends meet. I used to visit him and talk with him a lot to cheer him. I asked him many times of what it was like and how he dealt with the depression. he used to tell me,"Everytime I do a dialysis, it is more painful with passing age. So much money is wasted for my health that can benefit my kids education. Not a day passes when I don't think of ending my life and killing myself and spare them the agony. I can't take this pain and want to end it now. But everytime I see my kids and how my wife is trying to keep their hopes alive and their spirits up regarding my health, I worry how badly their morale will be hit and what my suicide will do to them. How it will affect my kids and if it will help them become tough to face such challenges in life or make them one day think of taking the same extreme step I think of today. If someday they think it is OK to commit suicide because I did the same, I will never forgive myself even after death". His daughter just married last month and his words came to haunt me a lot that day.

One of my friend's brother has a case of degenerating bones. Brittle ones that break at slightest pressure and he is always confined in wheelchair having lost his spinal bones to degeneration. Spends a lot of time on network sites happily and cheering others. I feel like a dwarf when confronted by his zeal for life and spirit. Not everyone may be strong enough perhaps.

Inspirational surely. Just thought I should share it.

skully wrote:Vikas, I am happy that you have:

a) a great life with no stress
b) a steel shelled mental capacity that can cope with all shit thrown at it.

I have had more worse than you can imagine. The things I have survived and lived through I could write book. But yes. I was perhaps mentally stronger or perhaps those times made me stronger. I am lucky my family was a real pillar of strength so much I could only think of them whenever dark selfish thoughts dared to confront me. But i see your point. I will leave it at that.

You guys just give your Bro all the strength and hope and keep reminding him of how much he means to you and how losing him will wreck you all. Assure him you guys are there always for him and convince him how much he matters to all your lives and perhaps you can help him be stronger. My prayers are with him.

Kudos to your cousin, V. He is an exceptionally strong individual. All power to him and congrats to him, he seems one tough cookie worthy of praise. But he shouldn't necessarily be the benchmark. Many have simply been worn down by many years of nothing but depressing, bad news.

I'm sure there are plenty that have wimped out early because they were weak, but my own experiences with my brother indicate that many more fight to keep the Black Dog at bay to try to maintain some semblence of normal life. For my big boofy brother to break down in front of me was a confronting site, but I understood and supported him. I DO NOT want him killing himself.

Don't a lot of the great comics suffer from depression?

lardbucket wrote:similar topics:
LLL, you're preaching to a clueless twat, Give up before you ruin your day.

skully wrote:Kudos to your cousin, V. He is was an exceptionally strong individual.

I am glad he didn't throw in the towel. His last days were an absolute nightmare. He was gnashing his teeth and biting his tongue in pain till they were all bloody. Dialysis had become unbearable and he was begging the doctor to grant him death. He had reached the stage where he was beyond dialysis and how many days or hours he could survive on his own beyond the quacks and in the realm of prayers. I used to think some of us were indeed children of a lesser God at times. I am in debt to him for showing us all cousins how to fight through a situation. Everytime any of us was in shit, we used to think ,is it as bad as what he was going though. R.I.P Bro. And thanks for those lessons of life.

taipan wrote:Don't a lot of the great comics suffer from depression?

aye, and that guarantees immunity for one of our less talented visitors

MHR LLL.

Party on and don't be sad.

Batman wrote:

skully wrote:Kudos to your cousin, V. He is was an exceptionally strong individual.

I am glad he didn't throw in the towel. His last days were an absolute nightmare. He was gnashing his teeth and biting his tongue in pain till they were all bloody. Dialysis had become unbearable and he was begging the doctor to grant him death. He had reached the stage where he was beyond dialysis and how many days or hours he could survive on his own beyond the quacks and in the realm of prayers. I used to think some of us were indeed children of a lesser God at times. I am in debt to him for showing us all cousins how to fight through a situation. Everytime any of us was in shit, we used to think ,is it as bad as what he was going though. R.I.P Bro. And thanks for those lessons of life.

Sad. RIP to your cousin.

again to Mr. Cluefull.

The really talented guys with bagfull of clues have finally shown up with their masks of pretence to look down on their lesser peers. Now on I should only make politically correct posts like our learned and great cluefull visitors, rather than express with sincerity and honesty my real thoughts. I should lie, like I really care on someone or some topic, post 2 lines of 'sensitivity' for the sake of it and be a fecking politically correct, or whatever else it takes to be considered more learned or respectable, right?

If I had just posted "Sorry about that. Tough luck. Wish he had gotten timely medical help. God help his daughter" and that would have been the end of that. No one would have questioned my 'ignorance' of it at all. Whether I really meant that in my heart and mind wouldn't have been issue at all. I made that post aware that someone would take a cheap hit at me you did show up finally to do just that. But I choose to post what I really think with how I view it and not to keep cretins like you off my back. In fact I 'choose' to wear my ignorance on my sleeve as I say what I believe and think with conviction and don't say it caring what people will make of it or call me for it. I don't believe in making diplomatic or politically correct posts to make people feel good because I like being bluntly honest in my words and thoughts. Even if they come across as uncaring, biased or clueless. Even if it makes me ignorant, clueless, lesser talented and a neo-nazi of some kind. So up your arse captain cluefull and all ye more talented blokes out there. Perhaps deep down you envy the freedom with which I can be myself so easily in ways you yourself cannot. And for that I am glad I am myself, I wouldn't like to be like you at all.

[And before LLL misunderstands, this post isn't for you. Its for the cretin back here again to snipe me]

Batman wrote:Why is it that I am thinking this is another of this manic sarcastic post of Gus where he comes across as the pinnacle of sarcasm and black humour again?

Well if true, take the pills and see your doc man. if not I marvel at the command of your prose.

There is no untruth here. I just felt like posting about it. Some people have this idea that I'm a slightly wacky but intelligent weirdo when the truth is more along the lines of creative insanity. People ought to know that my creativity itself is a manifestation of my madness. There is a line somewhere in the middle where creativity and mental illness meet, and quite often, one cannot exist without the other. I am creative because I am ill. My illness is my muse.

Manic sarcasm? I'd describe it as depressive wit.

In truth, I have always been like this. I am majorly critical of my blemishes and generally feel ugly and disassociated from life. Nobody knows this because it's not really something you blurt out. It's easy enough to say it here because it's an anonymous(ish) website. But I'm breaking down the misconceptions about my persona.

Chivalry Augustus wrote:

Batman wrote:Why is it that I am thinking this is another of this manic sarcastic post of Gus where he comes across as the pinnacle of sarcasm and black humour again?

Well if true, take the pills and see your doc man. if not I marvel at the command of your prose.

There is no untruth here. I just felt like posting about it. Some people have this idea that I'm a slightly wacky but intelligent weirdo when the truth is more along the lines of creative insanity. People ought to know that my creativity itself is a manifestation of my madness. There is a line somewhere in the middle where creativity and mental illness meet, and quite often, one cannot exist without the other. I am creative because I am ill. My illness is my muse.

Manic sarcasm? I'd describe it as depressive wit.

In truth, I have always been like this. I am majorly critical of my blemishes and generally feel ugly and disassociated from life. Nobody knows this because it's not really something you blurt out. It's easy enough to say it here because it's an anonymous(ish) website. But I'm breaking down the misconceptions about my persona.

Sad to hear that. I always thought it was your humorous personality and not a cry from your soul. I hope you recover look forward to better brighter things in life. I deeply do.

taipan wrote:Don't a lot of the great comics suffer from depression?

Yep. I reckon its because everyone expects comedians to be funny all the time. So you are constantly, instantly being judged every moment of your waking day. That is hard work.

Chivalry Augustus wrote:

Batman wrote:Why is it that I am thinking this is another of this manic sarcastic post of Gus where he comes across as the pinnacle of sarcasm and black humour again?

Well if true, take the pills and see your doc man. if not I marvel at the command of your prose.

There is no untruth here. I just felt like posting about it. Some people have this idea that I'm a slightly wacky but intelligent weirdo when the truth is more along the lines of creative insanity. People ought to know that my creativity itself is a manifestation of my madness. There is a line somewhere in the middle where creativity and mental illness meet, and quite often, one cannot exist without the other. I am creative because I am ill. My illness is my muse.

Manic sarcasm? I'd describe it as depressive wit.

In truth, I have always been like this. I am majorly critical of my blemishes and generally feel ugly and disassociated from life. Nobody knows this because it's not really something you blurt out. It's easy enough to say it here because it's an anonymous(ish) website. But I'm breaking down the misconceptions about my persona.

well written

>>>

I suggest you read up on it. You still don't seem to understand that it can be so all consuming, thinking about other people in any sort of analytical way is near impossible. You can't just tell someone with a severe mental disorder, contemplating suicide to "cheer up" or "think of their family".

<<<

What he said.

You've got diabetes? It's probably all your own fault. Weakling. How dare you be ill all the time?

Emphysema? Cystic fibrosis? You're just an unfit f*ck. Walk further, stop that coughing and whinging.

Depression, low mood, anhedonia, preoccupied by thoughts of worthlessness and feeling an overwhelming and almost irresistible urge to end it all? Stop feeling sorry for yourself, grow a pair, pull yourself together ... you are the Ian Bell of humanity.

No difference. It is no more possible for people with serious depressive disorders to feel better or indeed enjoy their lives than it is for type 1 diabetics to cure themselves. To blame a sufferer for his illness or vilify him as weak because he is ill is pathetically ignorant in this day and age. Batty, you're a f*ckwit.

lardbucket wrote:You can't just tell someone with a severe mental disorder, contemplating suicide to "cheer up" or "think of their family".

My brother was close to throttling many of his good friends, who all had the same lame advice - "stop stressing and worrying so much." Speaking from experience, it is not a light switch to be turned off.

My advice to my brother was the same advice I gave myself. Analysis what is making you unhappy, begrudgingly accept those chunks of your life that you can't influence, and do whatever is in your power to remove those encumbrances that you can influence. He is now diligently trying to do just that.

and like the other illnesses, do not expect to be able to fix it up without help, or worse, feel guilty or somehow inadequate when (inevitably) you cannot

Sage.

So, what do you say to a mate who tells you he (or she) is depressed?

My reaction would probably be "you need to get some help because I have no idea what to do. Do you want me to see if I can find someone who could help?" but I have no idea if that's the sort of think a person in that position would want to hear.

My own (and my brother's) experience is that talking to psychs is an expensive waste of time. It's basically a "and why do you think that is?" and "how do you feel about that?" session. You may as well talk to an understanding family member or friend.

If someone told me they were depressed I'd ask did they know what the main underlying issues were i.e. why do you think you are depressed?, and maybe help them analyse what they can do about it.

Medication helps flatten out the mood swings but unless you address the cause, pills are only a bandaid solution.

not so sage

Batman wrote:I had a cousin brother who died a sometime back at the age of 40. He lost both his kidneys when he was 25 and 15 years he struggled through pain and dialysis that young, watching his kids grow up in frustration at not being able to work and provide for them and watching his wife slog hard to meet his medical expenses and to make ends meet. I used to visit him and talk with him a lot to cheer him..

Bloody hell. Poor bloke!!! That's all he needed.

I went through a very dark time and, in my experience, a good night sleep makes all the difference. 10mg of Zolpidem a night changed my life.

sleeping is indeed a very good thing

I wish I had more success in that area